Thread 81808245 - /r9k/ [Archived: 385 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/13/2025, 4:38:22 AM No.81808245
rage
rage
md5: 11ca5de6060f17fd0b053f8410eee1a2🔍
Two of my coworkers have dragged me into a horrible insurance fraud scheme.
>be me
>31, work in IT, lived alone, used to enjoyed peace and isolation
>start job at new company, try to keep to myself
>all other coworkers younger then me by at least a few years
>one coworker, like a 21 year old guy or something, keeps calling me "dad" as a joke
>laugh it off at first but was annoyed to be honest.
>HR one day randomly sends me a form to "confirm dependent status"
>wtf.jpg
>apparently coworker submitted paperwork listing me as guardian for "tax efficiency"
>some sort of weird bonus if you work with a family member on site or some shit
>I obviously initially decline, thinking it's retarded, and i call this fucker to explain himself on the office phone
>first he says it was a joke, the boss must have misinterpreted him
>then he tells me "you dont understand its a really easy way to get better insurance, this can help us both."
>convinces me they "never check" and anyone can get away with it
>think about it
>this is where i blame myself, i went full retard and said fine, signed off on it
>few days later
>boss comes up to me, "you know, your daughter works here but she isnt on your family plan..."
>dumb ass fucker didnt mention he had a sister also working there
>"You know, i dont think we ever had three members of the same family working on site at the same time..."
>"ha ha, yeah, crazy, ha ha..."
>things escalate
>This retard and his dumb bitch sister gave me a batch of gifts, made sure to do it in front of the boss, both are calling me "Dad" now
>get handed a crayon drawing of her, me and her retard brother with "BEST PARENT" written in glitter
>i dont know why they made that, a joke i guess
>the guy made a clearly fucking photoshopped pic of me standing with his family and put it on his office wall
How bad of legal repercussions am i going to get in when this retarded scheme falls to pieces? When will it? How fucked am I?
Replies: >>81808275 >>81808396 >>81808417 >>81809054
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 4:41:51 AM No.81808275
>>81808245 (OP)
Of all the things that ever did not happen, this one did not happen the most.
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 4:43:33 AM No.81808287
not sure if copypasta but im also 31 feels good to see another 31 year old. we should all suicide by cop
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 4:58:29 AM No.81808396
>>81808245 (OP)
Gotta hand it to you this is pretty funny stuff for a creative writing exercise. But my belief was suspended with the drawings. That only happens in skits and movies, not real life.
Replies: >>81808421 >>81809365
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 5:01:19 AM No.81808417
>>81808245 (OP)
Obviously demand daily blow jobs from the girl
Replies: >>81809376
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 5:01:33 AM No.81808421
>>81808396
its such a fucking stupid retarded idea that it loops back around to being funny. The story shouldve continued with him gradually forced to adopt more and more people until hes everyones legal guardian, lol
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 6:32:16 AM No.81809054
>>81808245 (OP)
post a picture of the best parent drawing or fake
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 7:22:10 AM No.81809365
file
file
md5: 4250551b602f68bf7ab678c5742338d8🔍
>>81808396
If they work at the State Department it could be real.
Anonymous
7/13/2025, 7:23:11 AM No.81809376
>>81808417
>becomes an The Aristocrats joke
not the worst idea