who here genuinely suicidal im what takes you to that point

>>81809160 (OP)
I have been before. Losing friends, feeling hopeless at the time. Only didn't throw myself off my university parking lot because I was afraid of the idea of hell. I don't recommend suicide. This shall pass etc. I'm glad I didn't kill myself.

im scared to kill myself also. i know im going to hell burning forever. at the same time we are just here to suffer

>>81809160 (OP)
Lots of pressure from the outside word (friends, relatives, work, etc) causing me to self isolate more and more, essentially trapping myself which made me feellike killing myself is the only way out

Spent some time away from my life with a few family members I trusted and things have gotten better (not by a lot tho)

>>81809358
>>81809380
This, but it was mainly about trying to comprehend how the aftermath of me dying (if any) would feel like

>>81809160 (OP)
Having your entire life and future shattered, and losing the people closest to you.

I'm not really suicidal but I keep getting plagued by thoughts that I wanna an hero. Most I do is play chicken when crossing roads.

I am scared to kill myself im afraid of the after life

You'll be alright. I tried a few years back, didn't work out. I'm still here and not necessarily happy, but glad that I didn't give up. I'm still convinced I'll find a life that actually feels fulfilling. You can too probably.

>>81809421
Then hoping desperately that it's all a misunderstanding and that things will be okay again. You hope you'll see them again, but they never come back and you have no way to reach them. You just lay in bed for days upon days, and it becomes more and more evident no one cares about you. Eventually you realize that they actually hope you'll die as your existence interferes. Even if they say they don't wish for that, and they say they worry about you. Their actions have said they want you to die, and you cannot worry about someone if you abandon them and never speak with them. So you understand the people you trusted have been lying to you and want you gone from the world.

Lost my dad in 2021 i want to be with that motherfucker only person in my life that get me. If there was a guarentee i could see him again id kill myself right now.

>>81809160 (OP)
I've far surpassed the point of being suicidal.

I've put a loaded shotgun safety off in my mouth literally like 2 dozen times, sobbing crying trying to get my finger to move to depress the trigger.

But survival instinct / lack of free will wouldn't let me

So I know now I am LITERALLY trapped being alive for 70 more years being tortured in fucking vanta-black tartarus

>>81809160 (OP)
When you realize living longer won't matter.