Did she ever come boomer-san? also 30+ thread

>>81819355 (OP)
all my posts and threads are dogshit. i hate myself and wish i was dead. i will die a virgin unloved and missed by nobody.

i haven't slept for over two days and keep ruminating over how everything about my life is fucked and i'm broke, ugly, unfuckable, and retarded.

>>81819373
>i will die a virgin unloved and missed by nobody.
If it helps... even if you had a wife and kids, no one will remember you after you die or cared that you ever lived

>>81819392
>i haven't slept for over two days
At least you didn't go ballistic. At this age getting less than 6 hours sleep makes me want the nuclear codes.

>>81819355 (OP)
>Did she ever come
She did but it turned out to be just another pile of bullshit. I might just smoke cigars and use fleshlights for the rest of my life. Seems like a nice cope.

>>81819416
it doesn't help because i can't even ever experience sex or intimacy or even happiness in this life on top of that.

>>81819424
i regularly go days without sleeping i hope it kills me earlier and shortens my lifespan.

i did nothing today but cope on this shit board i hate about my shit life.

>>81819462
>i regularly go days without sleeping
I don't know how you manage that senpai. If I stay up one night I feel like hit by a bus for the next 72 hours.

>>81819519
i have lifelong anxiety issues. i have never slept well in my entire existence.

>>81819424
I sometimes go a night or two without sleep sometimes I get real tired but other times I'm perfectly fine I guess it depends if you leave your home or have the windows open or anything that reminds you of how much time you have been up

>>81819528
>i have never slept well in my entire existence.
Have you tried taking anything for it? I don't mean big pharma slop either. There are other sleep aids that can work and will do wonders for your mood, e.g Apigenin or Magnesium Threonate. Reading usually helps me pass out too.

She never came.

I work with a 60 something years old and he's pretty much my and your future. He's still soft, saying things that people want to hear instead of listening to how he actually feel. Alone, fat, spent his life with his dog and 90 years old dad. Spend all his money on his car that he only use to come to work.

>>81819519
>>81819531
Going a night without sleep is the worst
So I use vodka and Xanax and sleeping pills
Surprised I'm not dead honestly and surprised my doctor hasn't noticed something is wrong with me

>>81819439
>turned out to be just another pile of bullshit
what does that mean? did "she" have an 8 inch dick and a wizard beard or something

I saw the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my entire life today and the feels I thought I couldn't feel anymore came back and hit me like a truck

life is actually pretty alright, all things considered. hopefully they'll continue to improve if things go even remotely according to plan. it feels good to be happy

>>81819708
I know it's easy to say, and I'm the last one to say it, but looks don't mean anything other than being pretty
She could be a huge, demanding, materialistic bitch who hates having sex (AKA my last gf)

>the bragging chad sex havers come out of the woodwork immediately begging for validation and attention
this is why we can't have nice threads.

>>81819782
Yeah I was thinking the same thing after it happened to try and calm myself down. But man it's crazy when you see someone so insanely attractive it just smacks you in the face out of no where and leaves you in shock. No amount of googling pictures of sexy women will find you someone that attractive. She probably has men instinctively asking her out before they even realize what they're saying.

>>81819355 (OP)
Yes she and other bitche came, but:
>I was an autistic virgin fuck until my early 20's.
>Then I learnt how to get, pussy. Ugly to mid, but it was a start.
>Then I knew how to get mid to good pussy and learnt that I have a big dick, life wasn't horrible. I fucked pretty girls
>even managed to make some children (from different women)
>Elstallion.jpg
Truth is I pay child support x 2.
My first daughter is a teenager that is moody and doesn't love me like she used to when she was little, I'm stranged from my second son in an eternal legal battle with his bitch of a mother, and my third baby is a little sunshine in my grayish life, but I'm trapped in a sexless marriage since he was born.
Sometimes I wish I haven't left my room to try to be a normie.

nice to see these generals are still straight up fucking garbage and normalfag central.

I didn't call in to work today. I feel sick since I lost my voice but I'm also depressed. $300 a week isn't doing a dent and it consumes all my energy. What's the point really. The interest charge is more than that.

People complain they can't break 50k a year but I'll never break 20k.

>>81819355 (OP)
Almost 31, and nothing feels good anymore. Nothing ever changes and when it does it just makes everything worse. I still mostly listen to the same music and browse the same sites as I did in my early 20s, which was the last time I felt good about my direction in life.

34 Here, what would you guys do if you could go back to 20? i'd do so much fucking other shit instead of wasting away my life on the internet my entire 20s.

>>81820713
I would use the 50k I inherited instead of giving the bank card to my mom.

>>81820713
Accept that I'm an autistic weirdo who will never be a normie so don't even bother trying and stop bothering girls

>>81820713
I'd just ask the one girl out instead of going to college

I'm having a good time coding and pretending nothing else matters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-aD7PALDaI

>>81820713
I'd probably do a lot more traveling, maybe to Europe. Early 20s seems like the perfect opportunity for that.

>>81819355 (OP)
yes but I fucked it up and am now terrified of ever dating another women ever again
t. 36fag

>>81819355 (OP)
Yes, she showed up when I was a senior in high school but she skipped grades so there was an unacceptable age gap and she only made me life worse.

>>81820713
>going back to 20

man I would hate having to quit drinking and doing drugs again, distancing myself from those things was one of the hardest things I've ever done

>>81820713
It depends if I'm still in the same headspace. Then I would probably do the same thing again. If I went back to 20's with current mentality... I would first go take a walk around the country with a tent and go to every city get drunk and drugged out and fuck everything and go to every party I came across.

>>81820713
40 yrs old fag here
>started browsing this board when Elliot Rodgers happened
I did a lot of stupid shit at that age and I'm literally at point zero now back to end a degree that I never finished in my 20's.
Nothing ever changes but sometimes you can get a second chance, even as an old man.

>>81820713
Stop going to school. Never graduate with a fancy degree and get a good job. Get on disability and become a hikkineet and never work a day in my life. I would be significantly less traumatized if I could stop myself with interacting with other humans as early as possible.

>>81820979
Damn I'm thirty three and also wasted my life. I need to go back to school

>>81821014
Yeah, I even got a sweet-ass scholarship that covers all my tution, because I did remarkably good in the admission exams.
It's a mixed kind of feel, there's a bunch of idiotic zoomers and surprisingly some 30 somethings too, but I'm the oldest of the bunch.
It's pretty much like going back to an old videogame that you never finished but where very fond of.

Im 38. I dont really have much to say other than that I turned 38 way too quick. My life is pretty much half over, two thirds over if I die an earlyish death


idk it certainly feels like the good times are behind me. everything that I could have realistically done I have done, so Im content in a way

Approaching mid thirties and I'm starting to feel like many of my paranoid beliefs are unfounded and absurd. I don't know how long this mental clarity will last. Hoping this can be a new chapter in my life.

>>81821212
The happiest time in my life was in my mid to late 30's between my divorce and stupidly getting a new gf that lasted for 5 years.

Was just looking at some pictures of me from 2017 and the difference is so depressing. I had a full head of hair... now I'm balding (I treat it but what was lost will never come back), overweight, flabby, wrinkly forehead, the list goes on. Aging is fucked up.

I don't even think I want a gf at this point. I have no idea what I'd do if it somehow happened.

>35, almost 36
>childless
>decade+ long relationship ended at the start of 2024, still not really ready to look again
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired and I just want to be left alone forever.

>>81822314
There's a point where, imo, if you haven't had a gf at a certain age, you should probably give up
Anyone you date will ask about your dating history, and what are you gonna say?
And then when it comes time for sex?...

No this is not a "demoralization" post, just my thoughts
I finally got a gf at 25
Worst mistake of my life

>>81820713
i'd brush my teeth. i'm a bald fat khv neet with no car that lives with his mom still but the only thing i'd make sure i did different was brush my teeth. also if i had money when i turned back to that age or when i was talking to me of that age i'd get an exercise bike.

>>81822362
I turned 31 recently. I've had sex a few times (I mostly regret it), but I've never had a girlfriend.

Anyone still into children's media? Rewatching early Thomas.

>>81822448
No but I went back and watched Thomas the Dank Engine last night, was pretty good.

>>81822345
>decade+ long relationship ended at the start of 2024, still not really ready to look again
That's rough dude, but any relationship lasting that long where you are not proposing to her was probably never gonna work out.

Laying in bed at 1 am, staring at the ceiling as my burgeoning faith has me trying to find forgiveness from... God, JC, Metatron, or whomever may be listening. Getting no reply and feeling a loss that I didn't feel before 'faith', now on the receiving end of a stifling silence. Why do I get poetic when I'm exhausted?? I have a heavy workday tomorrow, and yet here I am.

I'm haunted by my actions. Can't talk to friends without them losing all respect or losing them, I tried to outsource it to /adv/ of all places, and was ignored. I finally asked a fucking AI, like an absolute joke of a human being. Put it in absolute mode, framed it as my therapist. Pathetic.

All out of shame, only to add more. Feels like I torture myself as some kind of badge of honor. Feels deserved even if I realize that. Having an incredibly hard time reckoning with myself these days.

Venting here is the same. Wanting the void to answer, even if it's... fuckin'... here.

My ass needs sleep.

Only to receive a sign through the captcha, of all places. Losing it.

>>81819355 (OP)
Yes, the Jehovah's witnesses came to by door. No cuties though.

>>81822477
There were a lot of complicating factors and it wasn't really healthy. We were talking about marriage towards the end, before it all collapsed.

>>81820713
>what would you guys do if you could go back to 20?
Really depends how brutal the butterfly effect is.
>Mine BTC, invest in nvida, fagman companies etc
>Lift, use tinder, go out to gigs
>Depending on success of the first start working where I am currently far earlier.
>Learn to code earlier
>Travel to Japan earlier

>>81819355 (OP)
Became 30 this year and I've been getting the tfw no gf feels more than all previous years combined, it used to be a day or two of having the blues every 3 months or so but now it's weekly, it's becoming unbearable. How to deal with this? I'm no schizoid, I need love.

>>81820713
Get my GED. I'm a high school dropout, and I've never bothered to get it done. I'm just living on neetbux with my mom. So it'd kinda suck if something happened.

>>81820713
Paint my brains against the wall, because it never gets better

>>81822362
>Anyone you date will ask about your dating history, and what are you gonna say?
That I had FWB
>And then when it comes time for sex?...
You eat pussy like a goblin and when you cum you get hard again and fuck again until they are obsessed

>>81820713
not fix my friend up with his wife because she's a whore that made him end our friendship

>>81820713
>go back to '96
>the year before my life got fucked up when half my family died and mom decided to self-destruct and move to vegas for no good damn reason
obviously there are a bunch of different choices I'd make but I wonder if I'd repeat the same general pattern of
>life gets messed up for reasons beyond my control
>struggle to get on a successful path
>things looking good
>life gets messed up for reasons beyond my control
money wouldn't be an issue in this timeline, I'm sure, because becoming wealthy is a matter of having the right intel and I'd have all the right intel, but I bet I'd still have to fight a ton of very hard battles. hell, I might get myself in really bad trouble due to being wealthy. would go back anyway, just for the novelty

>>81819772
how did you find this happiness?
did you find a partner?

>>81823662
Are you seriously 59?

>>81823808
your math's off bwo

>>81823097
33, can't help you because it seems that this feeling just keeps amplifying the more you approach the final "it's over" age

>>81823821
49. Still. Fuck.

>>81820713
Besides the obvious stuff like "buy bitcoin", I don't think I'd do anything different. I'm not cut out for normie activities and relationships. I found an easy comfy job that lets me work alone and my colleagues are nice enough. They semi-affectionately call me "the hermit". I'm not paid much but I'm satisfied with it. I live alone and I don't have to deal family issues. Sometimes I do have dreams of me finding "the one", my soulmate. But this is just a childish fantasy and the truth is that I'm happier alone, always have been. I'm built for being alone.

still waiting for my angelic bundle of joy to magically appear

>>81820713
buy bitcoin, never play videogames, go to the gym, become a chad and exact vengeance (by sleeping around) a lot on women because they denied me teenage love

at least then i wouldn't ne a khhv virgin failure

>>81823869
lol yeah, I don't have any pix of myself from back when I was 20 but even when I find one from 10 years ago I almost want to rope

>Once I get myself into gear and get that degree, then.... then I can work 9-5 for corporations like my friends for the rest of my life while the corporations makes trillions.... the dream is within reach friendos...

>>81824111
9-5 is a joke when you don't have a gf
every day i ask myself why i'm doing it instead of just going on neetbux and work on passion projects all day

>>81824116
>9-5 is a joke when you don't have a gf
tried that, you just spend all your money upkeeping the relationship and environments while her money is the spending money for her, apparently this is the feminist future

>>81823457
>>And then when it comes time for sex?...
>You eat pussy like a goblin and when you cum you get hard again and fuck again until they are obsessed
Nigga what?
I don't even know where to begin with how many wrong things you said

>28
>divorced
>no irl friends
>mum and brother are the only people I talk to semi regularly outside of work
>pretty much convinced I'm fundamentally a bad person and I'll never be able to reciprocate love properly
>no idea how or where to find a partner
>don't even want to, really
Can I hang out with you boomers? I feel like I'm going to blink and be 30+ any second now.

>>81819355 (OP)
>Did she ever come boomer-san?
Maybe, but I'm not attracted to her. She is persistent though.

>>81819392
How do you manage not to sleep in two days? If I sleep less than 6 hours the next day I feel like a zombie.

>>81819528
Opposite here, I think my anxiety is caused partialy because I can't sleep properly due to external factors.

>>81820077
You flew too close to the sun anon.

>>81820713
There are two things I really regret.
First, going to college, or going unprepared I'd say. Absolute waste of time
Second, not making an active effort to befriend people I shared interest with.
As for being a sperg and playing video games all day, if I went back and din't have all the worries I have right now I'd do it again because I genuinely enjoyed it.

>>81824643
CONT. due to spam filter

>>81822093
Same here. I even remember teenage girls hitting on me at the beach when I was working out.

>>81822479
I can relate to that. It's really hard findind someone you can talk to without consequences. I don't want sympathy, judgement or people felling sad. Sometimes you just need someone you can talk to just like you talk out loud in an empty room.
If it is of any help, writing helped me with this. I keep a journal, and sometimes it sounds very depressing. I've been grabbing entries I liked and giving them a spin. They still sound dettached but they feel nicer to read. After I'm done I also feel better about those memories. Feels like cleaning your room.
Stay strong anon.

>>81824116
No neetbux in my country, otherwise I wouldn't work. Always believed you had to either be stupid or a very boring person to enjoy wasting 40h a week.

Yesterday when I lifted my head from my pillow, my neck finally popped back into place. Finally the pain is gone, I'll still go to my chiropractor appointment next week. The struggles of old age.

I was a 27 year old virgin.
I lost it to a 6'1" woman with several front teeth missing and a face like Barney Rubble.

Made me not want to participate in anything romantically for several years. Found a still ugly but markedly more attractive (extremely mentally ill) 25 year old virgin girl at 30, now we have 2 kids and most days are exhausting and miserable, but having your survival instincts pushed by something other than hunger and lust is pretty nice after 3 decades of abject hopelessness and apathy.

I really don't recommend crazy women unless you grew up in an abusive house though, I'm not sure I could ever deal with this bitch if it weren't for the fact that my brain clocks out every time she starts doing some crazy bitch shit.

Being with her has made me more anti-woman than I ever was before. Every outlandish tantrum is met with validation and excuses from the people around her, and even the women that despise her treat her with kid gloves. I'm sure that most men who grew up with sisters experienced this early on, but I was an only child, and it's kind of baffling to witness happening so consistently.

>>81824643
>>81824649
And now my personal rant.

36 yo wizard, still got a couple of friends, yet I feel more disconnected from everyone by the day.
The tfw no gf didn't really hit me in my 20s but I was looking for some real state the other day, a nice place in the countryside with a bit of land and I felt really lonely for the first time in many years because I thought that's the kind of place that should be owned by a family, not a single man.
I'm pretty sure I don't enjoy anything at all. Whatever I don't do in order to cover my basic needs I do for escapism.
My main hobbies are reading, writing, fishing... does getting drunk counts as a hobby? It probably does.
When it comes to socializing, it entirely revolves around drinking. I don't really hang out with you, I hang out with a couple of pints, maybe a whisky sour, you just happen to join us.

Still, I don't think I'm a bad person and I'm not angry at anyone. I'm just far gone. If I had a gf I wouldn't know what to do and it's not like I want to date a "normal" girl. I don't care about "making it", following trends, partying, travelling and all that stuff. How do you even find a girl that feels just like you?

>>81823457
I don't even know how to eat pussy.

>>81819392
my sleeping habits are fucked for this reason too, at a certain point you just can't keep denying your reality anymore, if shit sucks you have to let yourself feel it

>>81820713
i'd probably travel at least once, i had the money for it but i just didn't, now i don't have time for it and my body is more of a mess
i would have also tried pursuing better jobs rather than just what my parents wanted
my 20's were intresting i don't regret them to much, i spent about 3 years of them doing nothing and the rest in education i was a lot more hopeful for my futrue

my 30's fucking suck so far though, same shit job for 5 years, health worse, getting fatter, dad dead and facing my mums mortality too, feel weird that i'm going to be approaching 40 already, everyone you knew from school married with kids and content with it, world just doesn't feel as free and full of options anymore yeat everyone says 30's are the best years like your 20''s with money, fucking bullshit, i clearly don't have the kind of money they have and they are all probably enjoying their happy families

>>81820713
Around that time I became chronically ill, I'm still not sure why. I would probably try to work less and get a different apartment, the one I was living in had some mold.

>>81820713
I would stop wasting time trying to talk to women.

It is kind of crazy how easily my (and probably everyone else's) brain absorbed all this bluepilled romance stuff and actually believed that someday I would find my Misaki. It is very easy to think that it is plausible when the brutal reality is that you never had a chance of this shit happening to you and you will die alone.

>>81825147
why would you subject yourself to this anime brainrot
it is made by deranged hikis who themselves live entirely in mental fantasies and never deal with actual people

>>81825182
I live in mental fantasies and I have to deal with people at the same time. Most of the time I have to interact with others, my brain is wandering to some other subject. I still listen to the person but half of my brain is just focused on some random idea on top of that.

>>81825182
>it is made by deranged hikis who themselves live entirely in mental fantasies and never deal with actual people
I am a deranged hiki who only has to deal with actual people at my wagie office job.

>>81824694
>does getting drunk counts as a hobby? It probably does.
When it comes to socializing, it entirely revolves around drinking. I don't really hang out with you, I hang out with a couple of pints, maybe a whisky sour, you just happen to join us.
I got you on this one. Of all the things I used to enjoy as a "hobby" alcohol has always kept me company. I ditched weed some years ago, too expensive.

>>81825310
>I ditched weed some years ago, too expensive.
bro what? it is WAY less expensive than alcohol. buy in bulk and just vape it. i lasted 2 and half years on an ounce (which was around $200 at most).

>>81825411
nta. I once had like 100 grams from South Africa through the mail, it was extremely cheap and full of seeds, the seller said he was Zulu

>>81819355 (OP)
I am 38, lost my job, my somewhat of a gf, I have no career, no children, no nothing. Currently deciding what to do, in all honesty I had a good run because when I lived on my own I had chicks, and a semblance of a success. This current situation is what I knew back in my mind was a possibility. I can't deny things are rocky. My last GF was great. But I just couldn't do it. I just could not pull through. Meaning that even if I knew I was losing a great woman, I just could not let her get close. So she finally left. This gave me a terrible realization. And I need to change those beliefs if I really want my life to turn around. Currently on semen retention too. Being a coomer since age 12 and never stopping really messed up my brain. Currently on 12 days. Take care all.

>>81825513
good luck man, shit sucks but if nothing else you can take big risks because if it fails, well, you're just as fucked as you were