woke up to 3500 characters of essay text from gf i am genuinely going to blow my fucking brains out i cant take it anymore

what did she talk about

>>81823566 (OP)
give me her number and ill reply to it for you anonny

>>81823566 (OP)
before this thread continues
real gf or internet gf

>>81823566 (OP)
you don't have to entertain random foidbabble
just feed it to chatgpt and ask what to do

>>81823578
we had a conversation about "trust" and she said i wasnt emotionally available to her during the conversation and she feels bad again
>>81823587
real gf

>>81823603
ive seen guys do this and I genuinely dont want to just use chatgpt even though it would work. theres still a part of me that wants to try to have good talks, and trust is an important topic, but oh my god im so fucking tired i have been getting essays like this every week now and im ALWAYS doing something wrong some how and if this keeps up i just fucking might

>>81823633
you could flip it around on her and talk about how she makes you feel like you're never good enough and there's something wrong with you. but she might end up thinking you're a pussy depending on what she's like

Post the essay

>>81823633
just dump her and find a nicer girl

>>81823680
paraphrased part 1

Since I'm going to be away and we won't be able to talk for a bit, I want to wrap up this topic before I leave because I really don't want to revisit it later. This message isn't about asking more questions or making you explain yourself again; it's just about how I felt after our conversation yesterday.

I know this is a sensitive subject for you, and I truly appreciate your willingness to discuss it with me. I understand your perspective, and I believe you acknowledge your mistakes and regret them. That means a lot to me.

However, despite all that, I felt a lack of emotional reassurance. I understand you wanted to help me grasp your thought process at the time, and you might not have considered this, but it would have been nice to feel a bit more emotionally acknowledged and reassured in a warm, caring manner because I know you are capable of that.

I've seen that side of you when you tell me I'm not a bother and that you want to hear what's on my mind; it always makes me feel safe and cared for, and that reassurance is significant to me. I just wish I had felt more of that same comfort from you, even when the topic is difficult and involves you. I'm not trying to hold anything against you, but it's clear that it hurt me a lot.

In the moments right after I was told everything, when it was still fresh and I felt the most hurt or unsure if I could trust you, providing you comfort was still important to me. I've told you I believe you're better than what happened (and I still believe this), reminded you that I see the good in you, and tried to ensure you didn't feel alone or overlooked. I just wish I had received more of that kind of comfort in return, even if you were upset too, because I genuinely want to support you in moving on from the past, but that requires me to receive the same kind of comfort back.

>>81823680
>>81823710
paraphrased part 2

I don't believe that receiving logical explanations about everything was what I needed the most. While that was important and helped me understand somewhat, I think something as simple as hearing you say, "I promise I wont do that again," or something equally "corny" would have been much more helpful. I feel that rebuilding trust isn't just about time or exercises; it requires effort from both sides. I've been doing my part by being open and honest about how much this has hurt me, and I still have faith in you as a person. I needed you to not only explain things logically but also to connect with me emotionally.

I understand it's difficult to hear that you've made mistakes, especially with things you regret. It probably hasn't helped that I've brought it up so often, and I don't mean to attack you with this. What would truly make a difference for me is being able to trust that you care about me and this relationship enough to comfort me, even when it's tough. Right now, it feels like our long conversation left me feeling more hurt and exposed, rather than secure, and that's not how I want things to be between us. I even thought about giving up because it felt exhausting to comfort you, then try to discuss my feelings, only to end up comforting myself afterward. It didn't seem like there was much reassurance to be had. So, I'm also saying this in hopes that you're willing to put in some effort because I don't want this relationship to become draining instead of something that truly brings me joy.

>>81823679
honestly man i don't even want to talk about it with her she'll just flip it back and ill get hit with more essays and...
aaaaaaagggggghhhhhh
>>81823681
she's so perfect otherwise though... fuck

>>81823710
>>81823724
Yikes oreganoli

>>81823743
Yikes me or her

>>81823710
>>81823724
so what exactly does she want from you? im not really understanding what her point is

She has cheated and is now feeling bad about it so is turning it around on you with a 4 page essay detailing why its your fault

>>81823787
she wants "emotional reassurance" and i should be saying sweet nothings instead of explaining myself rationally
i don't get it aren't i supposed to be rational when i explain things

OP.

You are low IQ.

Here's how you respond:

"Wow, that's craaazy. I'm not reading all that. You stay safe though."

>>81823710
>>81823724
I NEED a gf like that so badly. Most women only write a few words at best and don't even try to have a conversation.

>>81823566 (OP)
Then break up with her? It's that easy

>>81823566 (OP)

fucking retard, OP

this poster >>81823796 is correct

they only do this when they cheat and need to justify it by making you look bad LMFAO

>>81823710
It sounds as though she's being pretty clear about what she wants from you anon. (With whatever context you have)
Times apart from an SO can be very difficult, if this is a relationship you want to maintain you should really reassure them that you're willing to put in the effort of working through your problems.
It's not often you find someone who can be candid and communicative such as this, you need to figure out if you're up to the task.

>>81823809
what do you need to explain about yourself? i don't get wtf is going on

>>81823810
>>81823814
yeah i do not have unlimited endurance eventually i am going to snap and do this
>>81823811
its not fun when you get hit with essays every couple of days for weeks on end

>>81823757
Just yikes. What is this even about? What were you not "emotionally available" (retarded foid buzzword) about?

>>81823724
>>81823710
Sounds like she has BPD and can't reassure herself.

Ask yourself this anon. If you are both adults why is it your job to make her feel safe and secure? She also mentions bringing this same topic up before. Thats not genuine concern that emotional instability and an inability to trust you.

The best response is to send an angry reply back. Let her know she is violating your boundaries and beating a dead horse because she can't control her own emotions. This will both check her ego and show her that you are not a weak pussy who will play her shitty mind games. Also make sure to play the victim while you blame her and list everything you've done for her and ask her if that wasnt enough. Make it sound like she is being ungrateful and unreasonable. Then subtly imply that maybe this isnt working out which should trigger her abandonment anxiety.

>>81823833
Umm no I like that and I am also like that this + me being clingy + autism makes it that women don't like me.

Such is the fate of an oofy doofy.

>>81823833
Stop complaining if you can't even do a simple thing. You normalfags really are retarded.

>>81823578
lol, her feet are pink. thats rly cute.

>>81823824
im glad that she's honest and straightforward about stuff like that but
>effort
is really getting to me
i don't have massive essays i prepare for HER about how she's doing things wrong and making me feel bad
like i have no issues with her and she has a buttload with me and im just really
tired
>>81823826
i opened up about some mistakes in my past and it damaged her trust in the nature of my character and when i was explaining myself i did not offer enough sweet nothings

>>81823710
>Since I'm going to be away and we won't be able to talk for a bit
"I will be gobbling cock the entire time im away"
>I understand it's difficult to hear that you've made mistakes
"i have made massive mistakes but im not responsible for it so its now YOUR fault"

kek all this cope and this anon is sitting here like "oh i wonder what I can do to save this?" lmao

>>81823849
she says i need to be more reassuring and comforting during our "talks"
reasonable, but its really unfair for this one
i have to defend myself in conversation while also being reassuring
>>81823851
going cold and
>what is the most efficient way to "win" this argument
is what got me here
i still feel like trying desu
ill hold off on firing an essay back for now

>>81823710
>>81823724
Nigga just break up. I've gotten texts like this before and despite >>81823824 's claim these overexplanations dont really matter to them if you give them back. I had a gf that wanted to "communicate" but when I did it like her she freaked out even harder.
I get that you want to have clear concise and effective convo but she is just diluting it by talking this much while still treating you like some lapdog who doesnt do nearly enough for her as she does for you. Her threatening to break up throughout the text under the guise of
>So, I'm also saying this in hopes that you're willing to put in some effort because I don't want this relationship to become draining instead of something that truly brings me joy.
Come the fuck on dude.
Id genuinely not even reply or keep it short concise and effective (so it cant be interpreted another way except that you somehow dont care), even if you dont break up. Let her overactive mind run rampant.

It ain't gonna work out if it's like this every week. Stop being a beta and either put her in her place or dump her. Or continue being a beta and keep getting essays and pussywhipped

>>81823796
>>81823819
>>81823906
she didn't cheat on me or anything yet but the way im constantly getting these essays makes me feel like it'll happen soon

she doesn't know how to "gobble cock" yet
we're each other's firsts

Are all relationships like this?
I couldn't handle desu

>>81823958
its either happened, happening or about to happen anon

Best to get off this sinking ship and move on tbqh

>>81823942
>>81823945
im gonna find some time to dump all of my thoughts on this kind of stuff back on her if she doesn't get it
i guess..... yeah im done
it really hurts to say and like, despite this being so draining i really want it to work out
>>81823968
if every foid has these tendencies i will genuinely just go gay because i cannot handle this for much longer either

>>81823566 (OP)
>has gf
>gloats about it on r9k

you wouldn't last a second being a khhdv virgin

>>81823992
Basically it's like how many words do you need to explain why you (from her pov) feel bad about how things are going, and is it really a good thing if she shifts the blame to you constantly (while gracefully taking the blame for nonimportant stuff) and that she constantly hints at leaving you if you dont change.
I agree with other anons that she might want to leave but it can also been seen as her not wanting to leave but wanting to pussywhip you. Genuinely not worth it imo.

>>81823710
Is this a shit-test to see if you can keep your masculine stoic frame (although you can still be somewhat emotional while still keeping a masculine frame, and i think this is preferable to 100% stoicism) ?

Anyway, tell her this and that matter and that you can feel her perspective but dont go too far with it and lose your masculine frame

>>81823566 (OP)
>>81823710
>>81823724
You don't need this bullshit in your life. Rip the bandaid off now before the wound truly begins to fester.

>>81824394
On second though maybe she is manipulating you and you should not pretend to agree to "calm the storm" and show weakness.That it is a shit test like this. Maybe the best thing to do is to healthily see her in a patranizing/paternalistic way and ignore everything about her vs you being wrong but just aknowledge her feelings.

But idk, i havnt read the full post.
Maybe this femoid is a lost cause idk

>>81823566 (OP)
That is so real man. So accurate

I love that we need a council of men to analyze the bullshit women write and still we aren't 100% sure what the fuck they on

>>81824033
>>81824394
I don't think this is a shit test or anything of the sort, and I don't feel like I'm having to bending my nature to fit her, so not pussywhipped either
im just really fucking tired of this

>>81823578
Damn. Why am I putting up with my narrow ass Asian gf when I could have a big booty South African lady? I'm black too ffs

>>81823724
>>81823710
From her text it kinda sounds like OP is one of those mopey depressive types that's a constant drain on people around them and never genuinely reciprocates any feelings of compassion but instead acts like an emotional sponge.

Even more telling is that OP thinks responding to these two texts that were very respectfully written is some huge burden that is simply beneath him. Most men would kill to have a woman who communicates her needs like this but OP takes it for granted.

>>81824579
Ugh right I knew something was wrong. I thought it was ragebait anyway because it made a woman look bad but now I believe its true because of what you said. He should break up to allow her freedom.

>>81824579
>>81824599
here come the simps

>>81824605
Simple formula: If makes women look bad=ragebait, if makes men look bad=true
There are exceptions like when women look bad because its actually a man's fault she is that way

>>81824648
there are ragebaits of both kinds. i dont think you've been here long enough

>>81824676
Ive been here since 2001

>>81824579
Where in this thread have I said it was beneath me
i do appreciate that shes a communicator but when its starts being essays of "youre doing something wrong again" for weeks on end
it doesnt feel so good, no matter how great of a communicator she is

>>81824579
Where in this thread have I said it was beneath me
i do appreciate that shes a communicator but when its starts being essays of "youre doing something wrong again" for weeks on end
it doesnt feel good, no matter how great of a communicator she is

>>81824686
This site didn't even exist in 2001 kek

>>81824576
truly a mystery
origi

>>81824686
>>81824648
go take a bait class or two and come back

>>81824737
I uhh mean I ve been here since September 29th 2003 *sweats*
>>81824739
Any you recommend? Where did you graduate?

>>81824739
You shouldve added this one btw >>81824599

>>81824746
I hear the Lurk Moar Institution is pretty good desu

Dump her and stop crying abt it u pussy do something for the first time in ur life

>>81824761
Never heard of it my good sir.

>>81823824
You must have little to no experience with women. Those wall texts mean she already did something that makes their relationshit beyond repair. And I advice OP to not even investigate if it was cheating or months of cheating with several different men or something lighter like kissing and going on secret dates with bf candidates to monkeybranch from OP to. She just needs to justify HER decisions, her mistakes and awful behavior to herself and paint OP as a villain in her head. OP can't win by engaging, because there's nothing left to win there.

>>81824732
You implied it like texting someone is some huge chore that is simply not worth your time or energy.

And no 3500 characters is hardly and "essay" as you put it. Like I said you come off as someone who is mopey, low energy and a burden to be around.

It also doesn't help that you are trying to outsource figuring out your response to r9k of all places. You know more about your relationship than we do so maybe you should be the one formulating what to say. You know instead of making us play guessing games based on the limited and vague info you provided.

What exactly were those "past mistakes" of yours by the way? Kinda feel like that might be a critical detail that you are purposefully leaving out.

>>81824802
This, cant believe people here, (hrmpf, guess I can actually) are taking the side of an obvious incel sexist. If he made an AITA the answer would be an unanimous yes.

>>81824817
So OP are you going to answer the question or keep acting passive aggressively?

What were those "past mistakes" of yours?

>>81824828
Im not op and im not being passive agressive sheesh calm down and rub one out or something. The world is not out to get you you maladaptive freak. I guess you were an incel ragebaiting.

>>81824802
>>81824828
stop assuming and trying to project whatever shit you think im guilty of, you need to take your meds
i haven't cheated on her, talked to other girls, watched porn, or done anything to her that warrants this

3500 is definitely lengthy for this kind of topic, and i mentioned before the issue is that its frequent and feels unfair. not the essays inofitself

>>81823710
>>81823724
She is complaining that you are too secretive and closed off. Just don't be avoidant. Take her somewhere nice, and spend time with her and she'll shut up.

>>81824802
>NOOOOOOO YOU CAN'T COME TO R9K TO TALK ABOUT TROUBLING LIFE STUFF BECAUSE.... YOU JUST CAN'T OK!!!