>>81829357 (OP)When I was a kid, I had "friends" but not many. Most of my friends were my older brother's friends, because, genuinely, I was too smart for my peers (as delusional as that sounds). I was too smart for my older brother's friends as well, but they tolerated me better. The kids my age I tried to hang out with frequently committed obscene acts of violence against me (or attempted to) and would constantly find ways to hurt me, humiliate me, bully me and belittle me.
I am a diagnosed autist with a high IQ and, as a result, I have to mask at all times and basically learned to keep my mouth shut and pretend to be non-threateningly quirky and flamboyant instead of my actual natural state of being detached, depressive and cold.