Thread 81839684

Call someone a narcissist. If they react with any form of anger, including passive aggression, they are a narcissist.

Any non-narcissist that gets called a narcissist will at least briefly consider the notion and wonder if they really have done something wrong and potentially even think "well fuck maybe I AM a narcissist" and apologize to try and fix whatever they did wrong even if they don't understand.

narcissist spotted.

>apologize to try and fix whatever they did wrong
that's the expected reaction from a manipulator like you
but your subconscious wants you to be beaten into submission
too bad nobody wants to deal with your shit

>>81839697
>that's the expected reaction from a manipulator like you
OP is dumb, but so is this statement. People naturally want to clear their name and fix problems. That's why cops exploit it often in interrogations.

>>81839730
>cops exploit it often
also known as, manipulation
wow what a dumb statement i made that you had to go and make the same one right after

>>81839694
idk probably
maybe I'm the rare "self aware narcissist" or dark empath or something like that

>>81839742
>also known as, manipulation
You completely reversed what I said. The person who wants to clear their name and fix problems isn't the one being manipulative, it's the cops who exploit that desire in people.

>>81839756
maybe you can't read or something because that is entirely what it seems like
lol what the fuck actually

>>81839771
That's you, you said that people who want to apologize and fix whatever they did wrong are manipulative here >>81839697. I said that someone wanting to apologize and fix whatever they did wrong is not manipulative, but a natural human trait which is often exploited by others. Then I gave you an example of a time where that is commonly exploited. You then said that the people being manipulated in my example were manipulative. Regardless, OP is manipulative.

>>81839684 (OP)
PRO tip: they also make you feel very horrible about yourself

>accused of being a narcissist
>run down dsm traits for npd
>none fit
>cast doubt on the accusation
>this makes you a narcissist btw

yeah okay

>>81839684 (OP)
What if I say "true lol"

>>81839826
>OP is manipulative
that was the entire point made in >>81839697
meaning you either can't read or comprehend and just went in this big circle to finish with the same conclusion i had observed in the original post
i often forget that this board has a large population of brown individuals and therefore i must come to expect that my words will not be understood by the majority of posters here

>>81839684 (OP)
>If someone accuses you of something, denying it means that someone was correct
Foid logic

>>81839684 (OP)
>Call someone a narcissist. If they react with any form of anger, including passive aggression, they are a narcissist.
Reactive abuse is saying something intentionally hurtful, provocative, or accusatory and using their expected emotional outburst as a justification to further harm them. It's common in personality disorders.

>>81839684 (OP)
>Don't agree with OP
>They make this post
I can admit I'm a little narcissistic, you on the other hand are one of those people that's a massive narc and the only way to deal with people like you is to cut them out of your life

>>81839990
Should read
>saying or doing something

>>81839684 (OP)
Some narcissists get an ego trip out of being a narcissist

>>81839756
>You completely reversed what I said
THERE IT FUCKING IS AGAIN
DARVO
EVERY SINGLE TIME, THEY CAN'T FUCKING HELP THEMSELVES

>>81840164
It's not? It's two people who agree with each other but one misunderstood what they were in agreement. Everyone hates OP.

>>81840164
I love doing DARVO

>>81839684 (OP)
This is exactly how it works.
>T. Studier of npds

>>81839751
vakninpilled

>>81839684 (OP)
fuck yes I am a narc. u mad neurotypical boi?

>>81839684 (OP)
>>81839730
>People naturally want to clear their name and fix problems
niggers ain't nobody got time to lap up whatever narrative slop you throw at them. retarded manchildren ffs

>>81839684 (OP)
ok. im a narcissist. now what.

>>81840312
how do you get over the confidence hills?
it feels like I never get over them 100% and end up fucking letting myself get gaslit all the way back down
like idk it feels arrogant to just declare "I know what's going on" in the face of someone telling you otherwise even if they're demonstrably narcissistic

gaslighting works too fucking well on me...

>>81839684 (OP)
you won't have to confirm if someone is a narcissist; it's extremely obvious after only a few interactions. Most people just don't want to get into an argument with someone, so they ignore it. Even victims of narcissists often consciously understand that the narcissist is a narcissist, but they don't want to actively draw attention to it because it would lead to conflict and stress.

>>81840760
>Even victims of narcissists often consciously understand that the narcissis
don't be that guy dude

>>81840760
also most narcissists won't act offended at a random person calling them a narcissists; they will effortlessly deflect because in their mind, they aren't narcissists. It's only when their victims, the people they use as validation batteries, call them out that they get defensive. Their victims calling them out on their narcissism means that their fragile power structure and balancing act is starting to crumble. It's a personal attack on their well being, and a threat to their existence, so they lash out. Gaslighting, discounting, playing the victim, projecting, and guilt tripping are all strategies a narcissist might use to re-establish control over a relationship.

>>81839684 (OP)
Calling somebody a narcissist is a trait of a narcissist

>>81840687
Assume people have a good intentions, but evaluate why they are acting the way they do instead of jumping to the worst possible thoughts. Someone had a major personal loss recently? It's more likely their erratic behaviour is from their emotions than having NPD. Someone talks too much or acts like a know-it-all? It's more likely they have low self-confidence then have NPD. Someone is sad? Why? Someone is angry? Why? You get it. Try and see if there is a reason behind why someone is acting how they are, and if there is no justifiable reason and other issues can be ruled out then think if they might have NPD.

With that said some warning signs people with NPD have are they; tend to not allow themselves to be put in a position someone has leverage over them, tend not to apologize, tend not to expose their weaknesses or faults, tend to accuse others of NPD or BPD, and tend to not let themselves be vulnerable in front of others.

>>81840884
>tend not to apologiz
but they do apologize sometimes, right?
i know someone who is a textbook narc but she apologizes, shit throws me for a fucking loop

>>81840972
When I say apologize I mean a genuine apology, not just the word 'sorry.' A genuine apology is 'sorry' followed up with trying to fix a mistake that they made (if it's something that can be fixed).

>>81839684 (OP)
>I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHO IS A NARCISSIST I NEED TO I NEEEEDDDD TOOOOO AAAGGHHHHH
Textbook narcissist

>>81840884
>warning signs people with NPD have are they;
>tend to not allow themselves to be put in a position someone has leverage over them,
I want everyone to see me as an equal or at least pretend to, people who act superior upset me a lot
>tend not to apologize,
I take a day to apologize sometimes, sometimes it's a couple minutes... but definitely 100% my kneejerk is to think "wait i did nothing wrong" because obviously I didn't INTEND anything bad but I'm trying to get better at apologizing faster
>tend not to expose their weaknesses or faults,
this is weird because I am definitely very guarded but I'll also trauma dump and I almost always hate myself but I'm worried it's just performative vulnerable narcissism or pity theatre
>tend to accuse others of NPD or BPD,
i feel like I probably accuse someone of narcissism once a week talking with soc people but they ARE all assholes so..??
>and tend to not let themselves be vulnerable in front of others.
again what about vulnerable narcissism or performative pity theater stuff?

am I a vulnerable narc or something else please respond
i can drop discord if you need more data

>>81841083
You sound normal, because your reasoning as to why you did what you did was normal. What I gave are just some warning signs not diagnostic criteria or absolutes. When it comes to "vulnerable narcissists" they are harder to spot than grandiose types, but they tend to have extreme passive-aggression and resentment towards others who try to help them. It's not just someone who's a pity party constantly.

>>81841150
>help them
aka "make someone act in such a way that I'm not triggered out of MY insecurities"
faggot. bet you think 95% of people around you are narcs

>>81840972
Narcissists will apologize without ever actually apologizing. Saying shit like "I'm sorry for caring".
Sometimes they'll just say "i'm sorry" but it's clear they don't really care. They are sorry they got caught lying, or that there are consequences for their behavior. They are never sorry for the damage they did, because they don't care. Narcissists only care about themselves; everyone else is merely living in their world, and they are either a useful person, unimportant, or a threat to their identity.

>>81841172
>only care about themselves; everyone else is merely living in their world, and they are either a useful person, unimportant, or a threat to their identity.
That's literally every normie out there lol

>>81841172
>I'm entitled to others entertaining my feelings!
who's the narc now?

>>81841150
>but they tend to have extreme passive-aggression and resentment towards others who try to help them
ok but that's me too but it's really only because when people try to "help" they're just offering platitudes and things that could never in a million years work for me and desu I'd rather just hear "wow yeah that shit" than get a list of "just do x" solutions

also im definitely not normal so how can I find out for sure if I'm a vulnerable narcissist or not

>>81841188
Not quite; while most people are self-interested, they are usually at least capable of empathy or sympathy in relationships, especially close ones. Family, close friends, lovers, etc.
And most normies don't feel personally threatened when someone close to them doesn't tend to their every whim.
But to a narcissist, these "people" are not real. The narcissist themselves isn't even a real person. To a narcissist, the people close to them are tools to inflate their ego, to give them validation, to manage their emotions, and to solve their problems for them.

>>81841188
normies are all basically narcissists and if there's any kind of distinction it's just some on-paper shit that doesn't actually practically matter

>>81841165
I think most people are not narcs, narcs are <6% of the population. Someone whose just constantly full of self-pity is not a narc. Vulnerable narcs are also rarer. They are people who appear shy and timid, but who fake self-pity to get attention from people who want to support them. They lash out and are abusive to those same people who try to do what they want. They are much harder to tell because so many things that are treatable and not narcissism overlap with this.

I'm a fartcissist
*pffffffffftttt slprrrrrrrrrt*
oopsy I farted !! and I love the smell!

>>81841272
>so many things that are treatable and not narcissism overlap with this.
like?
examples pls?

>>81841220
Do you care about other people? Narcs don't.

>>81841300
Some people who are experiencing grief will lash out at others who try to console them. PTSD/CPTSD causes people to lash out at others. People who are frustrated but also severely depressed will lash out at others.

>>81841303
>Do you care about other people?
not as a matter of course and only if they care (or I think they CAN care) about me too
like I don't simp for people who obviously don't like me AND if someone betrays me they become just ontologically evil to me and it takes a lot for me to even see them as human again much less forgive
but my best friend and my gf I love so very dearly I feel terrible if I even THINK they MIGHT be feeling bad

AM I EVIL?

>>81841421
>my best friend and my gf I love so very dearly I feel terrible if I even THINK they MIGHT be feeling bad
Not a narc then. Narcs view even people close to themselves as fuel, they don't love. Like I said, narcs are rare.

>>81841442
ok so I'm not a textbook trunarc but I'm definitely adjacent enough for it to be a problem, what other things should I be looking at to try and home in on what my brand of evil is called?

>see a therapist
i don't have money and I'm too old to leech off my parents for that

>>81841336
Regarding grief:
>The death of a loved one, pet, friend, close relative.
>The loss of a significant (to that person) friendship
>The loss of a significant (to that person) romantic relationship
>The loss of an important career
>The loss of mobility, causing someone to no longer do the things they enjoy the most.
These, imminent threats to these, or anticipatory preparation for these when it's known to now be inevitable that they will happen can cause most people to act irrational. Especially in those already mentally ill or isolated. That wouldn't be "vulnerable narcissism" for example.

>>81839684 (OP)
>I'M NOT THE PROBLEM YOU'RE A NARCISSIST
I'm pretty sure OP has BPD, bros...

>>81841501
ok but if ur parakeet dying makes u a shithead maybe ur just a shithead tho

>>81841512
nice try bpd narc of low level. I'm high level bpd narc btw

>>81840687
Idk. I'm bpd and like to fight with npds but I need to stop doing that. There is no winning with these ppl. And they of course will try some passive aggressive bs to try to ruin my life. But my life is already shit so that don't really work. I'm working on just ignoring them which they also hate.

>>81841534
Depends, some parakeets species can live thirty years. If that parakeet was someone's only childhood friend, yeah it will impact them hard. You are right though that pain and loss isn't an excuse to be a shithead, it's just a reason why someone might temporarily be a shithead until they get better.

>>81841566
are you being cute when you say "like to fight" as in you mean you feel compelled or do you mean you actually feel joy doing it

>>81840972
Probably a passive aggressive apology. Every time you have a interaction with a narc punch it in on chatgpt and it will explain the whole thing. It's also best to know if ur dealing with an overt or covert

>>81841591
I feel compelled to. I actually don't like it because any contact with these ppl is fucking draining . I definitely said that wrong when I said I like it

>>81841566
you're just weak bpd. Cannon fodder bod imp while I'm the BPDemon King BTFOing any Neuroduvergent and neurotyoucpisl

>>81841594
I disagree with the chatgpt part, but you are right that someone responding to someone being sincerely hurt with passive aggressive apologies is a big red flag.

>>81841685
Chatgpt is the best therapist ive ever had. All the real ones I went to were npd.

>>81841710
>all
curious
are you sure cgpt didn't reinforce you being npd

>>81841801
>are you sure cgpt didn't reinforce you being npd
IM FYCKING SPIRALING

>>81841710
>Chatgpt is the best therapist ive ever had
Please don't do that. It is notorious for having problems reading motives, can cause people to disconnect from reality, and it can worsen paranoid, persecutory, or delusional thoughts. It's also too sycophantic to utilize therapeutic techniques. It is a great resource for asking about a condition, or finding resources though.

>>81841801
>are you sure cgpt didn't reinforce you being npd
Lame gaslighting attempt

>>81841863
it's a question and a call to introspection. gaslighting would assert you got reinforced. you're free to stop making the term "gaslighting" sensible, tho

>you are a definition in the DSM
kek. I'm me, bitches.

>>81841958
that's what the DSM says, DSM edition DSM-666

>>81839697
There's a difference between owning up to your flaws and what did you wrong, and saying shit like "ugh I didn't mean to hurt your feelings ugh I can't believe you won't just let this go ugh woe is me right? ugh you know I'm not perfect right damn"

>>81842042
>I'm sensitive so you're obligated to satisfy me
kekw

>>81842042
snork sneed

>>81842400
>I'm a cunt so you're obligated to tolerate it when I don't give a shit about you

>>81839684 (OP)
Shut the fuck up cunt, go rope yourself

>>81842400
>>81842717
who's right..??

>>81842717
see if I didn't know I exist while I don't give a fuck about you, you wouldn't be triggered. therefore your issue is entirely in your own head

>>81842881
if you didn't know I exist* kek

>>81842881
>>81842898
jewish thoughts

>>81842881
I am imagining that you are someone I'd actually be interacting with and not a 4chan person.
I hate my father because acts like a cunt as said and failed to raise me.

>>81842794
Both. You shouldn't treat people horribly, but the thing you are asking for an apology for should be reasonable.

>>81842982
TWO THINGS CAN'T BE TRUE

>>81842907
seethe goy

>>81842938
that's sensible but irrelevant to the poorly constructed criteria you presented before

>>81843262
They can if the truth is the middle, yay.

>>81841710
Most therapists become therapists because of a daddy wound, and they justify the desire to heal themselves as wanting to heal you. I have no idea who you are, but a lot of therapists are actually narcissists. They're doing that dad thing where they want you to grow up and live their dream, if you know what I mean.

>>81839684 (OP)
>how to tell if someone is a faggot
>call them a faggot
>if they get mad or defensive they are gay

This is retarded logic.

>>81844625
you didn't HAVE to out yourself

>>81844625
>>81845148
faggots. gayish gay fags

>>81839684 (OP)
>apologize to try and fix whatever
doesn't work when the person accusing you is a piece of shit
sorry fag I'm not a doormat, try it on somebody else