>>81860553 (OP)I'm 25 years old and realized the exact opposite. The only way to be happy is to cultivate your feelings. But at 25, your emotions are already dulled. It's impossible to experience intense emotions besides cutting and sex and other self-inflicted injuries(unless you're already injured in some way, such as with mental illness), and those are not worth living for.
The choice is: cut and dig a wound into your body and mind somewhere to fuck yourself with. Or feel nothing.
The only maybe alternative option is exercise, which is a combination of both options and feels good. I exercise as much as I can handle when I am free, which is the only reason I'm not dead.
Happiness is something inflicted upon you. You are a victim to happiness and joy, not the other way around. No amount of cowardice, unless cowardice is the injury, can bring you happiness. The price of being alive is suffering. Heroine only lasts a couple hours, which is how I intend to go out all at once when I get old and morbidly ill so there's that to look forward to I guess. Relationships just forward the suffering for later and with interest. If simply the suffering could be dulled without ruining the experience itself, much in life would be resolved.
