I always knew she was going to leave me, she was way too good for me, the voices were right, I don't deserve to be loved. I was always afraid she was going to leave me and that fear became a reality, I should listen to the voices and kill myself.

>>81863068 (OP)
Damn nigger, the voices tell you to kill yourself and you haven't yet?
That's pretty badass dude

>>81863101
>nigger
I'm not black
and uh I'm going to assume you're being sarcastic but anyway I should probably listen to them and do it

>>81863116
Listen nigger, I don't care if you're not black, if the demon voices are telling you to kill yourself it's your duty as an awakened starseed purple nurple based nigger faggot retard to resist them.
Capisce? Don't go out like no sucka

>>81863135
hey I'm not a retard!!!!

>>81863068 (OP)
>tfw she's online but she still hasn't responded to your message

>>81863182
Hey nigger faggot retard supreme, it's a term of endearment and the opposite is true.

>>81863247
no she's not online :(
>>81863251
I....I can't tell if you're messing with me or not!!!!

>>81863068 (OP)
I can't even tell which one of the people posting this is

>>81863267
look at the file name so you can tell who's who.
I'm the original guy and I've been doing this for almost 4 months

>>81863263
She used to be always invisible when we were "official". But now she set it to away and I can see her everytime she's online now, I wonder what sorts of charming men she's talking to now

>>81863068 (OP)
I am sorry for you OP, this happend to me as well. I would love to say that now, 4 years later, I'm over her, but that would be a lie. But also, her leaving me was the best thing that ever happend to me, because now I know what I deserve, and I deserve someone who love me the way I love her. I am absolutely sure, that you will find someone who will match you perfectly. Right now, you need to not fall into the deep abyss of depression. Be sad, go cry, but after that do something you enjoy, go out, to the gym or play vidya. Don't stay down, stand up.

>>81863068 (OP)
I wish there was a moid who cared for me like this

Preacher doesn't have anything to say because this isn't a relevant season.

>>81863305
oh man, I'm sorry about that anon... you deserve better.
>>81863346
thanks anon, I did fell into that dark abyss I'm still there honestly, 4 months later I can at least get out of bed now but I'm still not over her, I just stopped being denial yesterday and finally accepted that she's never coming back.
>>81863363
I'm sure you'll find someone that cares about you one day, you're probably a nice person
>>81863376
preacher the comic book?

>>81863391
Well done OP, you are already 8 months ahead of me, you are moving towards the right direction. Keep it up that way, and I know that it's hard, but to reach the mountains view you have to climb it first.

She knows you secretly are gay

Move to thailand. Listen to sharky. Dont kill yourself.

https://youtu.be/zwkcjK9M6X0?si=34CYbQ61NVYirxi4

https://youtu.be/vDCsewhJX9Q?si=y44q-5Ri4D365jVJ

>>81863470
8 months ahead? no no she left me 4 months ago and I was just able to accept that she's gone forever, I was in denial this whole time! but still at least I'm making progress.
>>81863481
not gay, I'm very straight!
>>81863505
why thailand? thanks for the videos, I'll watch them

>>81863391
Thanks so much anon. I'm hoping you can also heal from this. I like these threads because I don't feel so alone. If I told this to my friends they would mock me.

I'm at the point where I'm considering blocking her so I can truly accept it's over. It's hard seeing the old chat logs and how kind she seemed. We talked about staying as friends, but it's getting too painful

>>81863544
I hope you can heal too, I don't talk about this with my friends either, I just have a feeling they're going to say something that will hurt me.
and a couple of times I did find myself reading the old chat logs, it was pure pain, I can't look at her pictures anymore either, it hurts too much but I also can't bring myself to delete them. this is hitting me way harder than I expected.

but you're not alone fren! I understand your pain

>>81863522
I dont know which sharky video is the right one. But he speaks on suicide. It was like his best friend. And sharky hates suicide. Oh cause if you are white you might have a good time in thailand or ph.

>>81863581
I'm watching both!
>Oh cause if you are white you might have a good time in thailand or ph.
oh I see, I was wondering because you're not the first person to suggest that

>>81863580
Dude holy shit same. I can't muster the strength to delete it either. I wonder if it's even worth deleting it or if I'll start seeing it in my dreams.

I had a friend a while ago try to get me to get me out of my shell because he wanted to play therapist. I let out a few details but was still to into my shell. Only just recently I found out he was doing it out of guilt and sees me in a poor light. That stung quite hard, 4chan is the only place I can be myself now.

Thanks for listening to my sob story fren, have a virtual hug from me

>>81863644
I hate dreaming about her, I always wake up in tears, I would prefer to have nightmares honestly.
>Thanks for listening to my sob story fren, have a virtual hug from me
no need to thank me, I hope things get better for you! and a virtual hug for you too!

>>81863522
with the 8 months i meant I needed a year to just realize that this isnt just a sick joke and that she will never be near me ever again. I cired a whole year every single day :,), you are already ahead of me

>>81863675
The dreams are horrid. Did yours also intensify after she left?

Thanks for the hug fren. I really wish I could go back to the guy I was before all this

>>81863605
If its not because of race its just that those girls are easy to get. Dont need to go into detail. They are nice people. And your money is worth more than theirs.

>>81863068 (OP)
>I should listen to the voices and kill myself
Don't kill yourself anon, not until you rape her

>>81863761
OH I get what you mean now!
>>81863766
yeah oh man the first month I was dreaming about her almost every night..
>>81863774
ah! interesting
>>81863918
how's it going rape anon?

>>81864163
>how's it going rape anon?
Good

>>81864350
>good
that's good to hear anon!!!

>>81863068 (OP)
the voice in your head will always be the worst part of you. negative, yelling at you, saying you deserve to die or worse, etc.
don't listen to it anon.
don't let it win.
ive talked to you in your previous threads, "based kings field poster". etc.
You're a kind man. You don't deserve to suffer the way you are.
I lost a close female friend I had for a decade. She just ghosted and blocked me everywhere even her phone number. It really hurt so I can kind of understand in a small way.
But I had to let her go. I had to move forward and move on knowing she didn't love me.
There is nothing more you can do sometimes anon.
You need to either fuel personal growth, relax (playing vidya like you were), or find someone new to try trust with your feelings.
its not easy but don't listen to the voices in your head and don't listen to retards here egging you on.

>>81864163
Hey anon did the girl come back and tell you something
I just got a new game from ebay. I will see if it runs on windows xp.

https://youtu.be/it2PYzDGQNs?si=O1ksrm1EMcU0CcYb

how long did you know this slut for ?

>>81864541
i wonder if this game will run on windows xp

>>81864446
I remember you!, thanks anon, I'll try not to listen to the voices. I really appreciate it!
>>81864541
no she never came back, I just finally accepted that she won't ever come back.
and also that game looks cool what is it? another fps?
>>81865185
did it work?
>>81864927
thanks for these, they are really nice videos

also sorry for the late relies anons, I feel asleep

>>81864948
please don't call her a slut, she was a nice girl, she had some issues but she was not a slut

>>81865512
game works and seems promising
this is an fps install on windows xp
this game would not run on my gog version for windows 11
there are fixes i guess.
there is also an expansion called the night mare levels
ok i wont call her a bad name

>>81865517
She was not a nice girl she used you and left baka.

>>81865517
https://youtu.be/FBWgavQ_xr0?si=KI8KQOwInI9R4pVx

>>81866190
used him for what ?
>>81865512
anon. i just smoked a phat joint.

>>81866158
looks fun!
>ok i wont call her a bad name
thanks
>>81866190
but she didn't use me!
>>81866227
nice! I don't smoke weed, only regular cigarettes, haven't smoked today though..

>>81866301
She did use you she loved you and dumped you.

>>81866322
she used him for emotional support ?

>>81866349
That is more evil desu. When someone helps you you should never abandon them. You owe them one. Hope she is raped for her crimes.

>>81866370
hmm if you put it that way, I guess she did use me a lot...
p-please don't say stuff like that though I don't want anything bad to happen to her

Do it fag hehe

>>81866408
I pity you anon you remind me of myself. But if she loved you she would not have left you an emotional wreck mental issues or not.

>>81866603
he fell for a discord e-gf woman

Blood 2 fucking sucks

>>81866645
there isnt enough health and everyone is kicking my ass
why was there health in the train car but not the next the level. im going to try this patch.

>>81866603
people like me shouldn't be in any kind of relationship, I want to go back and keep myself from talking to her.
>>81866672
so the game is not good? how long have you been playing it?

>>81866722
i played the game 30 minutes and i can say.
it sucks

>>81866722
im going to go play squad

>>81866953
sometimes I have that reaction with some games but after getting better at the game I end up really liking it, but then again blood 2 might really suck Idk

>>81867076
blood 2 is like bots that instantly shoot you and dont miss. then the game never gives you health.

>>81863068 (OP)
>the voices were right, I don't deserve to be loved.
>I was always afraid she was going to leave me and that fear became a reality, I should listen to the voices and kill myself.

Those voices aren't you, retard. Call it a demon, call it an evil spirit, but they're not you, and their only goal is to make you suffer, so why the fuck would you listen to them? Would you accept a birthday cake from the devil? Of course not... so why would you listen to them? Why do you think people commit suicide? Sadness? Depression? And now where does that depression come from? It comes from living a shitty lifestyle and believing negative thoughts, which is your current state. Quit being a fag and fix yourself, it ain't that hard.

>inb4 you don't know what it's like

I was seriously considering suicide a few months ago, and as you can see, I prevailed.

>>81867102
that does sound unfun, what difficulty were you playing?
>>81867227
I didn't choose my shitty childhood anon, I've been depressed and suicidal since I was 7 my depression is the result of shitty parents and lots of bullying.

I'm glad you were strong enough to not commit suicide though

>>81867324
medium difficulty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OadUxrB6DEo

>>81867597
oh yeah, that sounds painfully unfun!
you said the first game was better right? or was it another anon?

>>81866625
NTA, but I knew what I was getting into and I still feel for it. She even explicitly told me that this is just for fun and we should stop if we find someone irl... And I still caught feelings

>>81867673
OP here
mine did actually wanted us to meet irl, I honestly don't know what happened to her, I guess one day she woke and realized she could do better, maybe I did something wrong, idk and I will probably never know

>>81867673
blood 1 has graphics like doom but better
its fun i beat it

>>81867723
that's not who you were talking to by the way, you were talking to me (OP)

but I'll give blood 1 a try once I get in the mood for an old school fps, um I'm assuming you have played half life before right? I love that game

>>81867756
yea i beat half life
i might play the expansions

>>81867838
oh you never played the expansions? opposing force is my favorite! you have to play it anon!