how does one stop craving for death so much? how do people cling to material possessions for the rest of their lives, how do people not see how painful everything is?

i dont know wanna make a suicide pact

>>81865549
take this back im gonna give it five years to see if we get robowaifus

>>81865539 (OP)
>how do people not see how painful everything is?
Many people live in blissful ignorance and indifference, but of those who are neither, I bet most see how heavy things can get and just try to cope.

>>81865561
and here i was about to say yes too
>>81865638
>I bet most see how heavy things can get and just try to cope
i don't doubt that a lot of people are aware of how cruel life is but what i dont get is how they manage to not care. how do they keep coping all the time, knowing that their lives don't matter, working until they die for nothing. they seem insane to me even though i might be the one labelled insane by everyone else.

>>81865786
>how do they keep coping all the time
I think a small portion of that already small portion in the end doesn't manage to cope anymore, and sooner or later they kill themselves.
>how they manage to not care
Chances are they do care, but neither of them--or you or me--can change how the world works. Not saying it's impossible but it would require such a collective effort and so deep along the roots, that it's incredibly unlikely to happen.
>knowing that their lives don't matter
To the people around you, those who truly care and appreciate your presence, your life matters. Though I understand that when you are depressed it doesn't look like that.

>>81865539 (OP)
what exactly do you feel is inherently painful? the futility of it all? the fact that you will never truly achieve all you want? that you're born and will die powerless? if any of those, the answer lies in itself, because the whole point is to live in spite of it. your craving for death originates only because you're alive, and that in itself is what makes life life. the fact that you want something, be it death or life, could only be because you're alive. you stop craving death once you understand it's purpose, and you build the rest of your life respecting it instead of letting it dominate you

as for why people don't seem to feel that weight over them, many do, they just haven't shown it to you. but it is true that many have grown numb to their own passing. not triumphed over it, not made amends with it, just become bitterly ignorant because they cannot accept it. you'd be surprised to know the lengths the human mind can go just to reject what it does not want to embrace. don't try to expand your feelings to the general public, if you take anything from this message, because you'll come back empty handed

>>81865865
>spoiler
dead people receive more flowers than living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude
>but neither of them--or you or me--can change how the world works
honestly this might be the worst thing. i wish i didnt care about this world, but i do and knowing there is nothing i can do to change things makes me feel pathetic.
>to the people around you, those who truly care and appreciate your presence, your life matters
i know. i think im supposed to feel something whenever i remember it, but i dont. i feel nothing.
>>81865958
>what exactly do you feel is inherently painful?
>the futility of it all?
>the fact that you will never truly achieve all you want?
>that you're born and will die powerless?
yes, yes and yes. what am i even doing here.
>to live in spite
why? i dont have anything to prove to anyone. "oh look at me, i lived for 70 years despite being a depressed miserable lonely fucker"
no one is gonna give me a medal. no one gives a shit. so why. it doesnt matter. what am i doing all this for? myself? i dont want to live for myself.
>they just haven't shown it to you
is it not incredibly depressing? how literally most people alive have to mask everything and only cope for all their lives? is it not insane???
>don't try to expand your feelings to the general public
i know no one cares. but see it as some kind of protesting, a protest to the indifference of this world towards the individual. maybe if enough people start doing it then things will change.

>>81866087
and yet you're here no? you're entertaining the idea that life might have some hidden meaning, that maybe someone in this thread will convince you to live. it'd be so easy, to take a knife and let your heart bleed out, and yet you haven't done it. or maybe you have, maybe you've attempted suicide but yet you're still here, and you haven't tried enough to die. doesn't that irony burn? do you feel it every morning wondering why you stay alive when you're so convinced that the world is not worth the trouble? why do you go out of your way to post hu tao art on 4chan and try to cling to others for hope?

>is it not incredibly depressing? how literally most people alive have to mask everything and only cope for all their lives? is it not insane???

do you feel your clothes when you walk? do you notice mites biting your skin? do you feel the blood flowing through your veins?
it is, but it isn't. we're just as used to it as all of those, so we desensitize ourselves to it. it's not a conscious effort, it's not a mask barely kept on by everyone in the world, it's the shoes you put on in the morning. always there, but never acknowledged. you might come back home and realize your feet hurt, you might not. but it's not as visceral as it seems.

>no one is gonna give me a medal. no one gives a shit. so why. it doesnt matter. what am i doing all this for? myself? i dont want to live for myself.

who are you doing this for then?

>i know no one cares. but see it as some kind of protesting, a protest to the indifference of this world towards the individual. maybe if enough people start doing it then things will change.

i care enough to answer. anyone else in this thread took time from their lives, to keep living them just to answer to your call. maybe it's not enough, but it is something, and you do seem to entertain it.

>>81865539 (OP)
According to psychoanalysis the wish for death is caused by an inability to trasncend the material world to such a degree that one comes to desire self termination in order to free oneself from said material (psychological) imprisonment. This gets expressed as depression, negative thinking and lack of enjoyment.
The only solution is to transcend the material in some symbolic wayz this could be: "finding meaning", or art or religion or helping others or whatever.

>>81866235
>why you stay alive when you're so convinced that the world is not worth the trouble?
because it might not be worth it for me, but it might be worth it for others and i want to help them fight for it
>why do you go out of your way to post hu tao art on 4chan and try to cling to others for hope?
i foolishly hope that someone will come and save me from my own self i guess.
>we're just as used to it as all of those, so we desensitize ourselves to it.
i guess i just wished people realized how fucked up it is and not just dismissed it as "oh its just life". i feel like im the only person that cares so much. and it makes me think im crazy.
>who are you doing this for then?
i dont know. i ask myself that question everyday, and the answers vary. they go from my mom, to my friends, to no answer whatsoever.
>i care enough to answer
and i'm very grateful. im grateful for every anon that stops in threads of people that need support and tries to help. but i am so very greedy. i cannot seem to ever be satisfied with what i have, even though i wish i was.
>>81866388
i wish religion to worked on me. art does work to an extent, i guess. still, so far nothing has been enough

>>81866547
i don't want to sound like a broken record with all the whys, but i do find it quite interesting how you yourself are bound to the very loop you despise. you keep coping your own contradictions by externalizing your meaning. you don't do this for your family, they probably don't understand you, not as well as you understand them. you don't do this for others that might tread your path, because this isn't what you're communicating. you do this for yourself. and the moment you realize that, you recoil. you reassign your own value to something else, to those behind and above you, to your family, to anything but yourself. and the one moment you recognize your own needs, you call yourself greedy.

i know that you care, i'm exactly like you. wasted countless nights with my heart buried in sorrow thinking of what it could be but never is, thinking how easy it would be for things to turn around if people saw what i saw, but them being so adamant being the exact reason why i can't shape the world how it could be. being told i am the only one who cares that much, that i should stop worrying. you've internalized that as guilt, you already believe you're the insane one. and i want you to realize that you're too aware to believe that. you're too good for religion, to good for stories, to good to think that getting a job, and spending the rest of your days consuming shit is enough to fulfill your life.

and in that, you also know that there's no easy answer. no one will come down from the heavens to aid you, no one will show up at your house and begin fixing the world with you. hell, i'd do that if i could, because you deserve it. i cannot offer an answer because if i could, i'd have been ill free already. but i hope you find solace in knowing there are other cancer patients dying with you around the world. motivating, eh?

just acknowledge something: you do this for yourself. and that's the best thing you could ever do

>>81866756
>you do this for yourself. and the moment you realize that, you recoil. and the one moment you recognize your own needs, you call yourself greedy.
I... dont think i could've explained it better myself. yeah, i think you're right, thats exactly what i do. i think, it would be so much easier to live if i didnt hate myself so much. so much, that even the slightest notion that i might deserve something more than just suffering makes me feel like im a narcissistic, greedy asshole. thanks for putting it into words for me and making me realize it
>you're too good for religion, to good for stories, to good to think that getting a job, and spending the rest of your days consuming shit is enough to fulfill your life
but then, what are supposed to do? its like the entire world was shaped for people that are the complete opposite of what i am. should i really be here? can't i just leave?
>but i hope you find solace in knowing there are other cancer patients dying with you around the world. motivating, eh?
i do, though part of me kinda wishes no one else felt this way. still, it does bring solace to know at least 1 person understands what it feels like. so thank you anon, for answering, and also for keeping on fighting
>you do this for yourself
...am i really worth it?

>>81866970
if not you, then who? if not the person who wishes they'd die just to take respite from wanting everyone else to be as happy as they could, to take the world on a chokehold and correct it one mistake at a time, yet have been born so powerless than it hurts, who deserves to live then? those who made everything into this? those who refuse to acknowledge it? those who help perpetuate it?

one thing you need to understand though, is that people themselves aren't inherently against you or your way of living. they're products, meant to perpetuate their conditions. they grow up thinking that they too can become millionaires, that formalized institutions like school and job places aren't just good but necessary and honorable, that if you're early and there's a donut box in the table, you should take all the donuts in case the next person takes them all instead. it's pathetic, yes, but it's also not their fault. they aren't built like we are. the modern world is so insanely effective at replacing dreams and consciousness with what are essentially bots running an ant colony that by pure chance they also make everyone else who wishes not to do that think they themselves are insane, because they're the only ones aware enough to doubt their own assertions. the world isn't shaped for people, it shapes people to it. you shouldn't direct your frustration towards some poor breadwinner that just wants to support their family in the only way they know, but to those who only taught him to suffer for it.

and to restate the obvious, yes, you are worth it. if not to anyone else, to yourself. and if that doesn't suffice for now, to me.

>>81867171
thank you, anon. i wish more people were like you

>>81865539 (OP)
you numb yourself out, there's a lot of ways to do that shit

>>81865786
>how do they keep coping all the time, knowing that their lives don't matter, working until they die for nothing.
By not being in their early 20s.

>>81865539 (OP)
I just got some sick new shoes and havent thought about kms. maybe you just need some new shoes op

>>81865539 (OP)
>how does one stop craving for death so much?
i don't know what would help you in particular, hu tao anon, but the more one clings to life, the less they crave death
seems fairly obvious but yeah

>cling to material possessions for the rest of their lives
these people live wrong
living is about being, not about having

>how do people not see how painful everything is?
life may be pain, but it has its sweet moments
it's up to us to create these though, in my particular case, i fucking love getting home after a day of work and just playing these games i've been so fascinated about since i was a little kid
it's my sweet moment in the midst of the bleak and bitter life around me, although my outlook on it has been changing

but for those who lack the right motivators... well, we all need an escape valve or the pressure builds up
don't have one? find or create one, you know yourself best so you're the one who should know how to do that