edating is normal and okay

>>81866774 (OP)
i guess but getting catfished sucks i was talking to this "girl" for 2 weeks turned out to be a gooner dude

>>81866904
find out on day 1
tits or gtfo is a rule for a reason

>>81866774 (OP)
Kinda sucks shes on another continent tho. Wish i could hold and kiss her already

>>81866915
true ur right I'm just a dumbass

>>81866919
Are you in a long distance relationship because you were looking for the best, most compatible, most loving relationship you could possibly find... or did you just settle for it because it's the best you could get?

Either way, focus on compatibility and sit your partner down and go over all the reasons you picked eachother. There's billions of fish in the sea, after all, and if either of you is merely settling for this because you are just socially awkward then it's functionally inevitable one or both of you will become restless and get some degree of FOMO and the anxiety and psychological stress of being "trapped" in a long distance relationship will punch through that social anxiety in weird ways and find a way to end the relationship.

>>81866774 (OP)
Normal? No
Okay? Yeah

Having an intimate relationship with someone you can't even be in the same room with doesn't hold a candle to the real thing. You miss out on so many layers of communication. I've been on both sides of the fence.

>>81866774 (OP)
theres an aspect of edating that people dont really consider, edating can be very intense desu.
Finding someone you really click with is something that's probably only gonna happen if you edate. Normal relationships are a thing but finding someone whose personality matches yours perfectly, especially when you're a loner robot, is definetly a spiritual experience.
Now imagine you found someone like that, who you talk with everyday for hours and hours without feeling bored, someone you can say your true and honest feelings, knowing the other party will just "get you", and then you two decide to show each other your faces, and you both find each other attractive, you start building an insane sexual tension between you two.
This sexual tension is like edging taken to a whole new level. You two start being flirtier and more sexual than usual to one another and you're gonna have cravings for the other person that you can't really satisfy. Love is the strongest aphrodisiac there is
If you two can meet at this stage, I hope you can match each other's libidos because you two will be doing years worth of pair bonding
I also think losing a relationship like this actually kills a part of your soul.

>>81867018
I think we manifested each other actually. She prayed she would find someone exactly like me and i experimented with manifestation and envisioned someone exactly like her. Then a month or so later we met by chance on this board.

We're not settling and i am going to marry her. We're fated to be

>>81867138
>magical thinking
Anon please watch this video

https://youtu.be/1lck_q-qtms

>>81867018
I feel this is what 95% of online relationships are. People who aren't very social who latch on to the first person they feel comfortable talking to, despite whether or not they're actually a good match.

>>81867138
That's cute anon I wish I could give edating a chance but I'm too much of a poorfag right now

>>81867190
How does that influence anything?

>>81867190
>poorfag
what does that have to do with anything
don't tell me men have to pay for edates too

>>81867180
I mean realistically it's 95% of ALL relationships, isn't it..? The number of actual "happily ever afters" can't be much more than 5%, seems most people just cope with their terrible decisions out of ego.

>>81867136
I lost a relationship like this. The good thing about it is that such a fundamental destruction and deconstruction of the self leaves a much more smooth and stable foundation to build upon going forward and opens the way for self-actualization.

The downside is it is the most horrible psychological pain I have ever endured and the sheer amount of "myself" I had to leave behind makes me such a different person that there's still moments I really don't know who I am any more.

I'm trying again, though. I've learned from my mistakes as best I can. I can't do normie ass relationships because I'm insufferably BPD, and even if there was a pill I could take to fix that I would still feel unfulfilled being in a relationship with someone who can't (or just won't) give me as much love as I give them.

>>81867222
You can't edate forever you two need to frequently visit each other and plan on moving in together somehow, all of that relies on money. I'm gonna become loaded eventually but it's gonna take 9 years

>>81867256
My bad chief I was thinking about the online part not the "what happens next" part.

>>81866915
if they show you their tits on day one they are an ewhore and not edating material

>>81867250
I don't disagree, but E-dating exacerbates this ten fold. It's a lot easier to become obsessed with someone when you're a loner.

>>81867256
>>81867270
As someone who e-dated and met up several times thinking "we HAVE to meet up to keep the flame burning," I think you need to re-evaluate what it is that's actually being said here.

If not having frequent and consistent visits is a genuine threat to the relationship you're already in trouble. If this isn't your SOULMATE for any given reason, or one or both of you in the relationship get that buzzing FOMO feeling, there's a fundamental incompatibility there.

If you NEED these frequent meetups just to keep eachother's attention, consider a less intimate normie-style relationship.

i am falling in love with a girl i met on soc. she clearly stated she is not looking for a relationship. i feel so bad i am a terrible person

>>81867325
A bit of an odd stance but you do you

>>81867270
maybe i'm too paranoid but i couldn't enter a relationship with someone i couldn't see a future with. Like if you two can't even meet each other due to financial reasons it is simply not gonna work out. I don't want to make myself miserable it is better to not have found a special connection at all if it is physically impossible for us to meet.
> a fundamental destruction and deconstruction of the self leaves a much more smooth and stable foundation to build upon going forward and opens the way for self-actualization.
Well put brother.
>I can't do normie ass relationships because I'm insufferably BPD, and even if there was a pill I could take to fix that I would still feel unfulfilled being in a relationship with someone who can't (or just won't) give me as much love as I give them.
I see what you mean, I just recommend not completely giving up on real life relationships. Make friends have people you hang out with before edating someone, you'll go crazy for your partner not because they are the one but because they are the only person you get attention from if you're a loner.
Very important to do this if you're a man. Women can just run a number's game until they find the one, I'm so jealous of them for this lol.
>If you NEED these frequent meetups just to keep eachother's attention, consider a less intimate normie-style relationship.
i think it depends sex and physical affection are very addictive drugs especially if you have a bond that close, maybe it depends on how horny you two are.

>>81867361
Going back to what I ORIGINALLY said,
are you looking for a SOULMATE, or just settling for whatever you can get and your social anxiety prevents you from using tinder?

If you're truly looking for someone with high compatibility, similar life goals, and genuine pair bonding and that search has sent you online to ask the entirety of the known world "does anyone want to love me deeply and truly?" and you actually FIND a person who answers back "yes, I am looking for true love" then there's nothing to worry about and in fact it's perfectly fine to have romantic "we were literally made for eachother" thoughts/fantasies.

If you simply get nervous talking to "real" women so you go online and then fall in love with the first fucking vagina to give you attention, though, that's an entirely different ballgame.

Don't get me wrong, there's really no such thing as "soulmates" and there's no predestined guarantee of anything in this universe but if two people truly want a very deep and meaningful connection then they can MAKE that into a deep and meaningful long term relationship that are written in romance novels.

>>81867440
well said miku

>>81867424
I am a bizarre person. I am off-putting to 99% of people. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I talk the way I type. I am not made for or compatible with normie relationships. I want significantly more than what most people want. I NEED a dedication and intensity that normal people find to be "too much." I can't find what I'm looking for in a bar or at a singles speed dating event.

>normal
Yes

>okay
No. edating is not real dating. Just because it is normal does not mean it is okay.

>>81867512
your opinions aren't real opinions because you're posting them r9k and only disingenuous ragebait is posted here

>>81867511
hahaha i really get you anon. if woman youre very cute if male women are evil demons for not valuing you more

>>81867511
Nta but I'm with you on this. Money isn't a big deal, if two people like each other they'd make it work.
Money really only matters if you're absolutely broke or don't trust the other person enough to live on the edge with them. I crave the kind of full on dedication and love you describe but I'm slowly starting to believe that this is impossible for women today. Women chase men that they view as above them

>>81867562
>Money isn't a big deal, if two people like each other they'd make it work.
yeah but how if you two are continents apart from each other.

>>81867540
It's just BPD. Quiet BPD maybe.

When I met my ex I thought I'd found my soulmate. She claimed to be BPD too and we had a lot in common... at first. I think she may have been NPD, in retrospect. Much more in common with a vulnerable narcissist than my symptoms, but... maybe I really just was so triggering for her that she kept crashing out. I'll never really know because she ghosted me very hard.
Technically there's ways I could find her again, but I'm not that kind of person. If she wants me out of her life then I am not going to beg at her feet for her to change her mind.

>>81867562
Obviously, ideally, if you've met your actual soulmate then both of you will FIND a way to meet. Even the most expensive possible international travel is merely in the thousands, and most people spend more than that in a year on vapes and flaming hot cheetos.

>>81867630
>Even the most expensive possible international travel is merely in the thousands
im in college and broke i can barely afford food

>>81867651
The main reason young relationships fail is just the naivete of young people. There's a lot you have yet to learn and understand.

>>81867712
im in medschool and am 26

>>81867745
Just be safe.

>>81867769
yeah im not young just broke

Been in an online relationship for 9 months now, feelings are reciprocated in terms of everything. She thinks I'm hot and she's pretty cute. Met her online and will not be able to see her in a couple years. If we break up I will kill myself, does not get better than this.

>>81866774 (OP)
my soulmate lives in the US and i live in Europe.
i wanna go see her (or even move there permanently) but i'm too stupid to realize where to even begin with all this stuff. she's the same way as me so can't ask her for help. we're not young btw, just extremely stupid and autistic aaagh

>>81868162
google is right there you fucking retard

>>81867190
I have about 30 euro to my name and i already got paid this month. Luckily she has a job. And she finds it very cute that i neet somehow

>>81868172
i wish google would explain the entire process to me as if i were 3 years old

>>81868178
I don't want to meet my "soulmate" at my most miserable and broke

>>81868189
even indians can do it you two must unironically be retarded

>>81867172
Cool, or im just a haruhi-like god.

>>81868213
narcissist spotted

>>81868162
traumatized manchild spotted

>>81868162
>we're not young
Under 40 is young.

>>81868191
Your soulmate would support you and be a reason for you to keep trying. I know thats what happened to me. Neeting for 7 years and im actually trying to get a job

>>81868219
>narcissist
Keep using that jew word, its already lost all meaning

>>81868244
narc crashout response

>>81868231
Hey man I'm truly happy for you but I don't think life will ever pity me like that. I must always pick myself up. Always doing this alone.

>>81868270
>Always doing this alone
why the fuck are you dating if this is your mentality?
you're going to ruin her fucking life

>>81868195
>you two must unironically be retarded
i did say as much in my post kek
feels like the internet has diluted the meaning of the word
>>81868219
>traumatized manchild spotted
how am i traumatized ;-;
>>81868228
i'm 24, she is 31

>>81868284
>why the fuck are you dating if this is your mentality?
My point was exactly that I'm not dating anyone until I'm at my best

>>81868293
would you be here if you weren't traumatized?
would you be e-dating if you weren't an incompetent manchild?
if your parents set you up for success would you be google searching "how do i leave the country ;w;"?

>>81868307
I was like this a year ago, then i decided to give it a shot and got stood up in greece. Eventually the pain got too bad and i went for a fembot, and i got ghosted. Then i saw a thread while on drugs and just thought 'whatever. At least itll give me more fuel to hate on foids when she ignores or ghosts me'
But she didn't, and we fell in love.

Ig what im trying to say is that it'll be unexpected. But you still gotta go for opportunities.

>>81868307
even at your best you will still have a "nobody owes me anything and I owe nobody anything either" loner mentality and that's ALWAYS terrible for relationships

until and unless you lose this narcissistic mentality you WILL be alone

>>81868342
>would you be here if you weren't traumatized?
true...
>would you be e-dating if you weren't an incompetent manchild?
yea, i wouldn't settle for someone just because she's the only person around. that sounds like a miserable, dead end relationship. my parents did that and their marriage fell apart so hard and so fast.
>if your parents set you up for success would you be google searching "how do i leave the country ;w;"?
it's hard not to resent my parents when you put it like that hahah

>>81868349
>it'll be unexpected. But you still gotta go for opportunities.
You only find true love once you've truly given up on it, I think.

>>81868477
are you telling me ill never have true love due to my OCD then

>>81868484
Yeah you will never pass your OCD freak genes

>>81868497
thank god no one deserves to have my neurotic brain. Any fembots wanna adopt children with me?

>>81868472
>it's hard not to resent my parents when you put it like that hahah
normalize resenting your parents for making you a manchild
I'm fucking sick of the societal victim blaming of people who were serial abused to the point of losing their agency and sense of self

>>81868484
I don't know man, anything is possible I guess. Maybe seek some medication or therapy though.

Real talk how do you even find someone to edate

>>81868650
If you are a woman you should edate me

>>81868650
if you can't even find a bitch to edate it's BEYOND over

>>81868484
another bro with OCD. I hope you're doing well man.

>>81868713
Cause I don't know where to look retard
>>81868692
I'm a guy

>too schizo to ever share personal info or pictures
>too annoyed by others to even become friends
>play games that are 99%+ male
>dont use social media
>romance and roleplay make me cringe
and still this stupid biological urge haunts me

>>81868537
>normalize resenting your parents for making you a manchild
i fully agree with ya. never blamed society for it. most of my life's problems can be traced back to my parents refusing to acknowledge my autism (because mental illness is very stigmatized in europe) and thus they never helped me cope or integrate into society. at least the internet is cool because it lets me edate someone with similar circumstances to me (she is autistic and was raised in a mormon cult)

E dating is based so long as you intend to make it irl

I don't know if it's normal but I think it's the only way I'll ever date. I'm probably on the schizoid spectrum so the distance is, ironically, what allows me to get close to people in the first place and find a rare person I can actually enjoy talking to.
I got my first gf at 27 and I feel pretty happy, even if it's not "real" dating. I might still be a wizard in a few years if she never visits but I don't mind. It's nice having someone to talk to without it feeling horrible and I value that a lot more.

>>81868978
sadly you may have to just cope with having eachother in text, voice, and video until one or both of you dies

>>81869071
I wonder about that sometimes
would being in an eternal long distance relationship be better or worse than being alone forever?

>>81869148
>sadly you may have to just cope with having eachother in text, voice, and video until one or both of you dies
that still beats being completely alone and isolated in my situation at least. mileage may vary for others

>>81866774 (OP)
Normal, yeah. Okay? Dunno. I had an on and off thing with someone for several years. It'll never work out and it crushed my soul. Oh well that's life good luck with your internet waifus friends

>>81869497
>an on and off thing
did she see ur pp

>>81866774 (OP)
I wish I could find these women who would want to edate me.

most 4chan foids terminally e-date then ghost when plans to meet up get serious

it's fucking MENTAL

good morning everynyandesu

>>81866774 (OP)
>tfwnogf
>so lonely
>life isn't worth loving without a gf
>LONG DISTANCE DATE??? ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?
I kek every time.

>>81866774 (OP)
for some of us this is the only way to find a girl!
man! I miss her!!!

>>81869772
every single time
>>81868650
games and discords, but like irl theyre largely unavailible until u find the one

>>81867138
HE IS NOT ME AND I AM NOT IM

>>81871919
who are you then thoughbeit

>>81872480
a question of questions

>>81871904
DO NOT date a girl who STAYS IN DISCORD SERVERS once you start seriously dating

i edate 3 girls at a time lole

>>81866774 (OP)
edating is nothing new. In fact, its been a thing since chatrooms became popular in the 90s. However, even back then, everyone knew it was a poor substitute for real human interaction. Basic common sense like "this is probably not a woman" was the norm.
Somewhere along the way, zoomers thew caution out the window and prefer these soulless interactions. It's not normal and not ok, embrace the risk.

>>81874716
it goes back further than that, people have fallen in love over letters even thousands of years ago

>>81866774 (OP)
Until you fall in love and are forever heartbroken. I found my soulmate and I lost her.

>>81866904
fpbp you Zoomers are retarded and literally NEVER going to find what you want on the internet. Grow up and let it go.