>>81876531What am I supposed to do instead? I need to talk to people.
I know that, theoretically, I could live without interacting with anyone, but doing so feels terrible. Heaven knows that I can't maintain individual relationships, so I have to cope here.
>>81876749Where would I meet a girlfriend?
>>81876792This is terrifying. I'm terrified of being 30. But I blinked and my childhood was gone, and now I'll blink and my young adulthood will be entirely wasted.
I don't think I'll ever be ready for any semblance of adulthood, but it's fucking charging at me with full force. I haven't changed a bit since I was in middle school. It's not that I don't want to grow up - I can't. I'm still retarded, asocial and immature - and I don't believe I have the capacity to ever be anything else. I feel like most people who were as retarded as I am during their adolescence never truly grow up. But now I'm in a legal meat suit of maturity that forces me to larp as a person, and no one can save me.
>>81876809I play the piano and read. But those things don't really make life enjoyable, they just pass the time and make my existence look worthwhile to other people.
>>81876835I try to deal with my problems, I guess, but it's difficult. I already feel like the most vile piece of shit on earth, and all this self-analysis and growing shit just feels like cope to remedy a restlessness that'll never go away.
