Are you resentful, anons?

The paths you chose or were chosen for you, the circumstances you found yourself in or the circumstances you were born into - all that lead you to this, to who you are now
one minute change could've made all the difference between who you are now and who you could've been - but that didn't happen now, did it?

Are you grateful, anons?

>>81884443 (OP)
for me its a mixed bag

on the one hand my entire was destroyed

what ever potential I had to be is long gone dead

on the other I know exactly who people are now

I can see right through their masks

sure I am broken beyond repair

but I can see things normies cannot

for that I am grateful

>>81884443 (OP)
I always tried to make the best choices. Sometimes I stumbled, but mostly I did not. In spite of making the right choices and seeking the things I wished for; other people and the circumstances of my birth overwhelmingly have derailed anything I set out to do. My life was stolen from me many times from people who I thought I could trust or who I thought cared. In spite of this I am not resentful, I feel no ill will towards anyone. I just seek to cease existing because life is no longer worth it without certain elements that made it worth living.

>>81884457
>on the one hand my entire was destroyed
>what ever potential I had to be is long gone dead
in my country there's a saying, "Agi Idup Agi Ngelaban" - As long as I live, I fight

I don't think you're six feet under yet, anon
I don't even care if you're a cripple, if you're not six feet under you can still make it work

>>81884511
>I just seek to cease existing because life is no longer worth it without certain elements that made it worth living.
would you care to share what made life worth living back then? was it a woman you loved, a friend you cared for, a pet perhaps?

>>81884538
There were many things. They slowly got lost one by one. A world that once existed, a friend I had, opportunities that existed, and most recently someone I loved who I was going to build a future with. I have traveled the world, seen many wonderous and terrible things. There is nothing left, I am old and exhausted. I cannot see a future anymore.

>>81884443 (OP)
I am resentful to my family and to me. The life I was born into but I can't feel like this forever. I just have to move on and stop thinking about my dumb mistakes

>>81884443 (OP)
Yes, I am. My whole existence is just some cruel punishment. But delusional fantasies and false hope keep me going.

>>81884523
yeah I understand that idea

I have the potential to improve the version of myself that I am do date

the thing I am grieving is that I lost everything I had in the past

these weren't things that were trivial

they were vital

and there's no recovering them

but yes I understand I can always improve the version of myself that I am

i was raised and beaten like a dog. i was sheltered,fed garbage food and made a fat loser in the developmental years of my life. i was denied youth and happiness ,outcasted. i had to make a fool of myself constantly for other people to tolerate me. i freaked out and left myself to rot at home for 6 years
i can't even be an "old soul" because normal people have far more life experiences than me. i dont have anything to gather from my hardships. no lessons. only misery and rumination every night. im an asshole to everybody and i cant help it. i was made into this ugly,egotistical freak by my own inaction and despair
i dont really wanna play but im being forced to. oh well
atleast im going outside mom

I'm resentful that I never had a chance to succeed due to my 'tism; despite all the promise people said I had. That everyone who loved me has died already.
I'm grateful that I have 'bux, and I was able to take over the tenancy of my life-long apartment.

>>81884565
>There is nothing left
that's where you're wrong - there's always something
i'm not trying to motivate you, but that's just the nature of life, the banality of it

the world you once knew is now gone? BAM here's this strange new world with all its strange new creatures
a friend at one point and a stranger at this point? BAM you're free to choose a new friend, you only need to extend your hand
a love, a passion that once flourished and now withers? sit still awhile and let your heart rest, the fire is still there but it's dim... again, the banality of life means you will find someone new anyway, someone who will reignite the fire, someone who will rekindle the flame

>I cannot see a future anymore
that's the fun part, when the fog is too thick - you either stay put, or wander into the unknown and hope, *hope* for the best

>>81884603
>I can't feel like this forever
thats the right idea, you're on the right track anon
>stop thinking about my dumb mistakes
plenty more will come, plenty more will be forgotten - that's just how it goes

>>81884644
>But delusional fantasies and false hope keep me going
what's important is to keep going, anon
who knows? maybe your fantasies will become realities
keep marching, keep moving

>>81884677
>I lost everything I had in the past
care to share, friend? if you dont mind, of course - though i understand if it's sensitive

>>81884920
>i dont really wanna play but im being forced to
who's forcing you? your life has been one of ruin and despair, now who else is forcing you to live? who else controls your life?

>>81885155
>That everyone who loved me has died already.
I'm sorry for your loss
but it feels like you've won at the end, anon - are you fine with being a neet till the end?

>>81885324
>I'm sorry for your loss
Thanks.
>but it feels like you've won at the end, anon -
Only in the 'bux sense (conditionally). Personally, I am totally bereft. Incel as well, naturally.
And I still have to be 'assessed' for my mental illnesses every couple of years or so.
If I was put back to 'bux appointments again, after 16 years of doing them, I'd probably sui.
I'd feel so much better with a UBI, with zero means testing or strings attached.
>are you fine with being a neet till the end?
Absolutely. I tried to wage-cuck and it exposed me as an autist. I have nowhere else to go.

>>81885386
>I have nowhere else to go.
Theres always places to go - being a NEET doesnt mean being a shut-in, go out once in a while