i think the internet raised me wrong. like i learned how to exist through people who don't exist. girls in anime, whiny angst ridden fag playlists with, vaporwave gifs of a shopping mall in 1993, a time when 3rd spaces existed. i think something broke in me during covid and never came back. i missed my years of social growth. i missed my "first party" phase. my "get embarrassed at school and cry in the bathroom" phase. i just fast-forwarded through it all alone in a dark room, unemployed playing tomidachi life until 3 A.M. time passing listening to fucking drain gang or mopey shoegaze like that meant anything.

where I live(the midwest) there is like nothing to do and the lack of 3rd spaces makes it feel almost liminal sometimes, especially when the pandemic came. I kind of liked it because for once it was like normies were in my shoes I'd been in all my life being a "weird" girl. i spend hours making eye contact with myself in the front-facing camera, wondering if i'd like me if i didn't know me. Life has sort of just passed me by and like i've been in a capsule since 2019. if anyone else feels like they got lost somewhere between 2019 and now please let me know. most of my socials are literally my trip name(snap im def sure)

>>81901234 (OP)
covid ruined us all, here the lockdowns lasted till 2023 and i basically lost all my teenage years to niche internet shit, I was happy though only for a while

>>81901298
it's so hard to get into socializing again, and im not even like fugly or deformed. im just really mentally fucked due to years prior even just being on the internet too much. part of me was a little shit back in 2019 happy to see normies finally suffering but now i hate that 3 years of my youth went down the drain. it also sucks that even getting independant living is hard asf nowadays and most of my peers are retarded. interacting in my generation is like pulling teeth, so im just saying fuck it all and rotting in my room.

>>81901234 (OP)
but were you happy? did you enjoy watching things that didn't exist, listening to fag playlists and playing tomodachi life until 3 am?

You aren't lost, you're just looking for a destination that doesn't even exist. People talk about finding themselves and whatever, but it's just having an interest in a long term goal and working toward it. Some people don't have one of those, I certainly don't. I've been happily faffing about playing games for a long time and I will continue to do so.

You don't have to do any specific thing or be any specific person, there's a desire for every type of person out there, you don't need to appeal to everyone, it's totally fine if only a few people like you. I have to act fairly lowkey around everyone because many can't work at my speed, those that know me have only ever experienced a fraction. You don't need others to be happy, but they can be accessories.

>>81901537
that's really easy fot you to say but currently in my life circumstance everyday feels so empty. i became less of a normie over pandemic and its been literally impossible to get back in the salmon stream again. it hurts even more when i see former friends doing shit with their lives on social media and im stuck in perpetual delayed development. its like every facet of the world right now is made to make you a hunch backed, neurotic, goyslop addicted, cortisol loaded grimlin. i miss watching mlp with my friends back in 2013 without a care in the world

>>81901632
I understand because that's just how I exist, everything is made to be hard and doing anything is walking through a minefield designed to turn you into a retard, goyslop as you correctly put it. That post gave me a pretty high impression of you, almost makes me think you might not be an npc but also that you might be a guy. Is your disc your tripname?

this is a man larping, they have an obvious ai video up

>>81901234 (OP)
>my "get embarrassed at school and cry in the bathroom"
You're fine w/o that shit. The midwest isn't too bad, there are lots of parks around, hunting's pretty good, fishing's good too, hiking, bird watching, tons of shit to do. Sorry to hear that covid fucked up some things for you, though.

>>81901298
i went on locked and was in online school my whole freshman year and half of my sophomore, i came back and had no friends and sucked at socializing and was basically mute and sat in the girls bathroom every lunch for the rest of high school, dont think i will ever mentally recover from that lel

>>81901234 (OP)
>i spend hours making eye contact with myself in the front-facing camera
how do you even do that? i can't do that without feeling disgusted, i'm hideous

>>81901858
Checked out this bitches insta
>decaychan.void

Obvious fed. Wayyyy too hot to be posting here.

>>81902160
Why would you think it's a fed? It's effortless to do ai generation, it's just some troon roleplaying.

>>81902294
Feds lurk to groom incels daily. It'd only make sense they'd stoop to this as a next step.

>>81901234 (OP)
>like i've been in a capsule since 2019.
I know how that is. Ever since 7th grade, I slowly moved away from others until I finally became the quiet kid, before finally going to online school due to covid. Finally, in the second quarter of 8th grade, I no longer talked to anyone. I'd sometimes see the other women in class and I'd just lay my head on my desk (not staring at them obviously) and wonder what it would be like with them. Once I went into high school, I no longer attempted to talk to anyone, just remaining as the quiet kid sitting alone. It didn't matter to me however since I had a friend online, (we lived in the same area but didn't hang out) and we'd constantly and play games together after school, although my parents would still constantly ask if I made any friends in school. It didn't bother me much, I was very clingy with that freind. Finally, just before the second quarter of 10th grade, I've lost my only friend from suicide and so I stopped attending school. Now I'm 18 and I can't help but feel as if my life has been going downhill ever since I was a kid. I can only blame others, especially normies for being so 'perfect' but I won't ever be able to fix myself, not unless someone shows me I could be loved regardless.
>anyone else feels like they got lost somewhere between 2019 and now please let me know. most of my socials are literally my trip name(snap im def sure)
At the end of the day, you're still a normie regardless, or some faggot larping. Or worse, you're some broken whore seeking validation from normie men.

>>81902371
Christ, I wrote a lot. Seems like the thread's dead so it doesn't matter.

>>81902160
>Obvious fed. Wayyyy too hot to be posting here.
Yea, I just saw her Instagram and no way she looks like that, lmao. Sort of ruined my time here. Are all 'femcels' here really just fags larping?

>>81901234 (OP)
>drain gang
I'm 110% (with a 10% margin of error) that years of being terminally online, just rotting in our rooms. Absolutely cooking our brains faster than any type of drug will, has changed our neurological makeup permanently. To the point where we're able to listen to fucking shit or weird music, and actual enjoy it

All my fucking friends and family that are normies absolutely hate drain gang, and music akin to it. It's only talked and loved online I swear to god
>pic is Machine Girl but this album cover art is quite funny and cool, also it applies as another example

>>81901234 (OP)
I've become completely detached from the world ever since I sort of went through a spiritual "wakeup call" in 2017. It all started when I had 3 of the most terrifying nightmares in my entire life (woke up shivering each time, heart skipping several beats), and after the third nightmare, I sort of just sat there calmly and asked GOD why these things are happining to me, and I asked him to show me everything. (I desired to be shown the knowledge, or in other words, "I desired to take the redpill")

I was slowly guided away from social media, and guided towards the darker parts of the internet (it felt like I had very subtle urges to do these things, I knew I was being guided). This is where I first discovered 4chan, and I became more and more redpilled, but also more and more detached from everything that normies use. And now, after seeing what's behind the curtains of reality (and who controls it all), and seeing the slave-like hivemind behaviors of the entire population of normies, I can't go back at all.

Anytime I try to use an app that normies use (like discord and snapchat), I immediately get extremely uncomfortable, and I end up nuking it from my device. Anytime I eat the food that normies eat, I get sick with headaches and digestive problems, and I drink tons of water to flush it out and sleep. After becoming redpilled, I no longer see the same world as the normies do, I see a false reality that was intentionally built to enslave everyone.

I use FOSS software like Linux, Librewolf, and qTox instead of normie software like Windows, Google Chrome and Discord. I eat organic foods instead of the GMO poison foods that normies eat. I refuse all vaccines while telling the doctors to fuck off when they ask. However, I have become extremely lonely and very socially awkward from 8 years of detachment. I've looked for a gf on /soc/, but the entire board is all normies. They hate my social awkwardness, and they avoid using qTox like the plague.

>>81902324
Damn I thought this thread was legit. Fuck glowies.