Thread 81912284

the thought of fucking a cold hunk of plastic makes me want to kill myself

find a prostitute anon

>>81912284 (OP)
picked up a half-empty can of soda the other day that had the exact circumference and weight distribution of my onahole and i wanted to kill myself right there

>>81912284 (OP)
that's why you warm it up beforehand, dumbfuck

>>81912284 (OP)
Just use an AI girlfriend to do the talking when you're fucking a sex doll, it's haven.
>inb4 le evil spyware will ruin everything
Just self-host your own shit.

>>81912354
This just pop it in the air fryer bro

>>81912354
how the fuck are you supposed to "warm up" 40 lbs of pussy and ass?

>>81912284 (OP)
it's the same as a dildo, when I use my dildo I'm not weird, but when a guy uses a fleshlight then they're lonely or an "incel" which is bullshit

>>81912284 (OP)
>the thought of fucking a cold hunk of plastic makes me want to kill myself
that;s not a lifelike detail.
consider that you don't have to kill yourself. it's just a toy

>>81912369
you warm the masturbation jew up like any other jew
>>81912377
I think the pro gamer move would be to have a dildobot railing your ass while a fleshlightbot works your dick, making you into the meat component of a perpetual fuck machine. add a throatfuckbot and a guillotine so that when you're all wrung out your head is neatly detached and the moidmilker 9000 is ready for its next meatslab

>>81912284 (OP)
then don't? You could just not do that.

People who claim to need sex are monkey brained and their lives don't matter.

>>81912284 (OP)
i should've done more research before i bought mine, now i have to use it with a condom otherwise i'll get infection on my dick
easier to clean tho

it's not plastic but silicon and you can warm it up
but yes, it's still a waste of money'
>>81912360
why would anyone want to hear women talk during sex or at all?

>>81912585
>why would anyone want to hear women talk during sex or at all?
Don't you want to hear moans and spicy comments? Well, personal preference, I guess. I thought the main point of this thread was that fucking dolls is too artificial.

>>81912670
>I thought the main point of this thread was that fucking dolls is too artificial.
it it, I'm indeed, off-topping
>spicy comments
I can't think of a single spicy comment that wouldn't make me cringe
>to hear moans
no AI needed for that

>>81912377
Can I be your didlo?

>>81912856
that's gay, you know that?

>>81912856
>Can I be your didlo?
No, as if I'd date somebody I met on 4chan

>>81912856
maybe if you try
what's your DC?

Now imagine how much worse you'd feel if you couldn't even get one because you live in a shithole dump of a house with your parents and one functional bathroom, while being a literal 40 year old virgin. My mom basically lives in the bedroom next to mine, and my dads a brainbroken asshole that just sleeps on the living room couch and sleeps randomly. I would love to just have a plastic butt to fuck in a quiet, private house right now. Count your fucking blessing and check your privilege, OP.

>>81912869
I didn't say date. I just want to be a dildo.
>>81912881
DC?

>>81912927
>and one functional bathroom
uhhh, isn't it like this in most of the households, even in the first world?

>>81912951
The house has two bathrooms, one unfinished, and despite owning the house outright now, despite being here for 30 plus years, they still won't do anything to finish it. My dad is a nightmare and my mom is fucking spineless, and they're both fucking morons who can't manage anything properly. I see more each day how and why I became such an equally worthless human stain.

Anyway, no, most people I've known have had two bathrooms.

>>81913012
>Anyway, no, most people I've known have had two bathrooms.
I suppose it's some thirdie display of status and wealth
>My dad is a nightmare and my mom is fucking spineless
heh, I got the exact opposite. father ran away when I was still in the middle-school (and he still tries to contact me for some reason) and mother is the reason I moved out

>>81912951
only poors have one bathroom

>>81912930
I think they're trying to pretend to be me, wanna see it? post your discord and I'll friend you

>>81913045
what is the secnnd one even used for? and are we talking about the bathroom or just restroom AKA shitter?

>>81913039
>Thirdie display of status and wealth
I'm American; most decently sized homes have at least two bathrooms. This one would if my family wasn't fucking retarded.
>The middle-school
This made me laugh, but you should probably sue him (assuming he has anything you can take).

I actually love my parents (at least my mom), it's just obvious to me now why I'm such a fucking loser, and that love is mixed with a lot of resentment and frustration.

>>81913064
talking full blown bathroom. guests use it. what I really want is something like pic related where I can take epic bubble baths while surveying my empire

>>81913187
>>81913187
>assuming he has anything you can take
we're both welfare queens
>>81913200
>pic
that's not even a room

>>81912284 (OP)
You either hate women or you want to fuck them. Stop wanting to have it both ways like a jeetmaxxer.

>>81913046
Sorry, it was a joke, I didn't expect for you to actually agree. I can't be your dildo, I'm real human bean with real hopes and dreams.

>>81913219
>You either hate women or you want to fuck them.
why doe? any arguments?
I thought so

>>81913213
the world is my room, plebian

>>81913263
why won't you make me leave then? or do you enjoy someone shitting on your carpet?

>>81912284 (OP)
I'm perfectly content with it.

>>81912284 (OP)
>cold hunk of plastic
you can warm it up if you want
unless you want it cold, idk

Mia and I are very happy together. I wish you could have what we have.

imagine not having a plastic gf. my girl looks a bit like bianca:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHWnmlpmub4

>>81912369
A warm bath

>>81912284 (OP)
Put it in a super hot bathtub then dry it off. Boom, warm soft pussy that won't disappoint.

>>81912284 (OP)
>the thought of fucking a cold hunk of plastic makes me want to kill myself
Based. I have never saw the appeal of it, anon.
My own hand can't get me off, so what chance for a piece of plastic.

>>81912284 (OP)
I did it, a 35lbs of ass thingy. The first time was humiliating, I lost my erection trying to fit it in, had to fist it for an hour to stretch it out enough and then once I finally found a rhythm I came in about eight thrusts. Washing it out, however, was surprisingly intimate and I felt real genuine pairbonding, I got an erection very quickly and found myself oozing an unusual amount of precum, and promptly fucked it again in the shower, which went much better. I fucked it a few more times after that but the rubber/plastic smell ultimately became too much to bear.

>>81914216
This looks good but damn these are expensive and bitches to maintain and store. You need to like starch it and a canvas bag to store it in and having a whole ass torso is kind of creepy.

>>81912369
A legendary anon on /jp/ came up with pic related which he named the "buttbox"
Basically you put your hip into a water-filled freezer box which is then heated at a consistent temperature with a sous vide cooker

>>81912284 (OP)
Ugh, yeah!
It's so much better to grind up against a sweaty body, rub all those dead skin cells and pussy flora on yourself til you stink.
Fuck outta here normiefag

>>81917134
idgi it's gonna warm up when you start fucking it anyway

>>81912284 (OP)
For me its these. They drain the balls really well and make my dick fucking huge when I play with the vacuum hole. Rather have this blow me than some unenthusiastic blow from some bitch.

I'd rather fuck my hand than clean any of these toys.

>>81917134
It's bizarre how cutfags cope

Why even bother with a fake pussy your dick is already numb due to mutilation

You will never know what a pussy feels like. You're a perma virgin

>>81912284 (OP)
>the thought of fucking a cold hunk of plastic makes me want to kill myself
That's good, anon