Thinking of drinking tonight even though I told myself I wouldn't tonight

i managed to not drink today by doing a different drug instead :^)

>>81913938 (OP)

The best think I've found is to alternate alcohol with other drugs that don't tax the liver like cigars.

>>81913938 (OP)
Same
>>81913949
What drug?

>>81913938 (OP)
Already drank and blazed some weed. In bed now

all i look forward to anymore these days, is getting high. i thought it was because i was lonely, but even when i was with my ldr irl, i was still puffing hard. i don't know what's been wrong with me all this time, something is eating at me badly. i still see that side of me that's still happy and wants to be happy and enjoy life, but sometimes it's just too much energy to try and reach for that attitude, to try and cheer yourself up, when you are just struggling against yourself. it makes drugs so much more appealing because that means instant happiness to overcome your inner struggles. the struggles are not overcome, however. it is your tolerance/perspective for that pain that changes from one that sees the pain as this monster you hate, to something more manageable, like a cute cat with claws you tolerate. i think in this way, we should try and always dissociate from painful emotions and memories and at least give wonder to the thought that we are the ones who are asserting whether if it is a monster we must defeat, or if it is simply a mischievous cat that constantly wants to knock over things while we're not looking. fighting against a monster is draining, but disciplining an animal is a relationship to be cultivated over time, that expectations need take a back seat for patience and understanding to overcome.

>>81913973
I was thinking maybe I'll drink tonight, and then I'll actually start taking a break tomorrow