>be me
>27 unemployed
>live with grandma
>decide to start DoorDash to make money
>first delivery ever
>McDonald's order ez clap
>on the way stomach starts bubbling
>mcregret.wav
>pull into a random parking lot to let it rip
>massive wet fart think I'm safe
>wasn't safe
>full on shart
>panic grab customer's McDonald's bag
>dump food out, try to clean myself with napkins
>forget there's a drink in the bag
>Sprite goes *tsunami mode* in my backseat
>pants are still full of dookie
>drive to customer house anyway, thinking I'll explain
>open door
>it's a cute girl my age
>smells it immediately
>"Uhh... is that... the food?"
>hand her half-wet bag with one napkin
>she looks in bag
>we make eye contact
>say "there was an incident"
>drive off in silence
>app permanently bans me
>grandma asks why I smell like hell
>still broke

>>81931431 (OP)
Did you get attacked by a unicorn the day after?

>be me
>27 unemployed
>live with grandma
>decide to start DoorDash to make money
>first delivery ever
>McDonald's order ez clap
>on the way stomach starts bubbling
>mcregret.wav
>pull into a random parking lot to let it rip
>massive wet fart think I'm safe
>wasn't safe
>full on shart
>panic grab customer's McDonald's bag
>dump food out, try to clean myself with napkins
>forget there's a drink in the bag
>Sprite goes *tsunami mode* in my backseat
>pants are still full of dookie
>drive to customer house anyway, thinking I'll explain
>open door
>it's a cute girl my age
>smells it immediately
>"Uhh... is that... the food?"
>hand her half-wet bag with one napkin
>she looks in bag
>we make eye contact
>say "there was an incident"
>drive off in silence
>app permanently bans me
>grandma asks why I smell like hell
>still broke
>be me
>27 unemployed
>live with grandma
>decide to start DoorDash to make money
>first delivery ever
>McDonald's order ez clap
>on the way stomach starts bubbling
>mcregret.wav
>pull into a random parking lot to let it rip
>massive wet fart think I'm safe
>wasn't safe
>full on shart
>panic grab customer's McDonald's bag
>dump food out, try to clean myself with napkins
>forget there's a drink in the bag
>Sprite goes *tsunami mode* in my backseat
>pants are still full of dookie
>drive to customer house anyway, thinking I'll explain
>open door
>it's a cute girl my age
>smells it immediately
>"Uhh... is that... the food?"
>hand her half-wet bag with one napkin
>she looks in bag
>we make eye contact
>say "there was an incident"
>drive off in silence
>app permanently bans me
>grandma asks why I smell like hell
>still broke

>>81931431 (OP)
was bound to happen, should've at least kept the burgers

>>81931466
>What did he mean by this shit?

>>81931485
rogue bot most likely

>>81931431 (OP)
can't wait to upvote this one on /r/greentext!