I'm not going to cry...I'm not going to cry....I'm not going to cry........god I miss her so much it hurts......

How long ago was it anon

i'm just smiling, pretending my chest doesn't feel like it's been stabbed with a dull knife, singing so that the vibrations ease the tightness and helping regulate my breathing/heartrate. what can i do, hahahahaha, i'm not hiding my pain, it's excruciating, and i'm barely managing to cope, but i believe in my partner for some reason, and trust them to come back.

unless if they're dead, then the knife will be real

>>81939937 (OP)
Why break up if you loved her?

>>81939952
4 months... I can't get over her
>>81939977
how long has it been? god I remember the first couple of months my chest actually hurt I was so sad and crying like 3 times a week I couldn't even leave my bed
>>81940000
she ghosted me :(

>>81940010
was it online or irl?

if online, quite possible she was dating multiple guys

>>81939937 (OP)
You should rape her so that you won't miss her anymore

>>81940026
sigh please don't say that....
>>81940035
oh hi rape anon, no I don't to hurt her

I just removed the man i loved the most in my life, like yesterday, I feel so horrible, why couldn't things have been different frens?

>>81940068
what happened? why did you remove him?

>>81939937 (OP)
same boat, it was her birthday yesterday, shes been dead almost 3 years

she loved me

>>81940080
fuck, I'm so sorry to hear that anon I don't think I would be able to live if someone I loved died

>>81940078
its a very long story, but tldr he played with my feelings for a long time saying he loved me but when i pressed him about it he told me it was all platonicall, it is ironic because when i met him i really just wanted a friend but he kept pushing for more. I feel awful about it but he wont make the step while also refusing to let me go, he already even sent multiple emails to me but i ignored them so far but damn it hurts

>>81940130
hmm well I'm sorry about that! I hope things get better for you, would you be willing to get together again with him? or is it over? either way I hope things get better for you anon! I really do!

>>81940099
>I don't think I would be able to live if someone I loved died

i lost my best friend when i was 16, every time it happens its like a piece of you dies as well.

once you love someone there are physical changes that take place in your brain, they become part of you for life

>>81940152
I want to be strong and fight the urge to go back I don't want to be his pretend gf anymore, but the sweet little lies are alluring for a reason..

>>81939937 (OP)
Do yourself a favor and delete them. sentimentality can be good but that type of nostalgia is just torture.

>>81939937 (OP)
Hello anon.
I have told this already.
My girl also left me about 4 months ago.
It hurts a lot, too.

I can't look at our messages, or I cry. You should also stop. You are only making it harder for yourself.
I would give my life so that she came back and we had just one more conversation. That has no changed. Alas, there's nothing else I can do.
One day at a time, anon.

>>81940153
that must've been really difficult for you, but you're stronger than me if I was in your shoes I would've killed myself honestly
>>81940170
hm well be strong it's for the best that you get away from him, I don't know the full story but kinda sounds like he's a bit manipulative.
>>81940180
I want to and I've tried to delete her pictures but I just can't bring myself to do it I just can't I'm not looking at them all the time but I can't get rid of them either

>>81940191
It's hard! I need her back!!! it's like she took my soul with her every day has been as joyless as the last I can't enjoy anything anymore

>>81940209
>it's like she took my soul with her every day has been as joyless as the last I can't enjoy anything anymore
I know.
One day at a time.

>>81940225
oh god tonight is one of those nights....I am gonna cry tonight.....fuck..

>>81940192
Just do it, cry yourself to sleep and deal with it in the morning. We've all been there. It gets easier the next time.

>>81940317
it's healthier than cutting myself at least

>>81939937 (OP)
retards like you that e-date deserve every single ounec of pain you feel

>>81939937 (OP)
You need to rip the bandaid off and delete everything

Why do you let your second half leave? You know your destinies are linked? You know you can only be happy and fulfilled toghether? If you really love them you wouldn't let them leave.

>>81939937 (OP)
Funnily enough I'm in a similar situation. A girl I met last summer ghosted me about 3 months ago. She's pretty anxious avoidant and ghosted me multiple times before. She would always eventually message me and tell me it was due to anxiety. I can also experience pretty bad anxiety (not checking uni email for months, not emailing professor about late assignment due to death in family for months, not checking uni grades for months, etc.) so I believe that she really did ghost me due to anxiety. She's never ghosted me for this long before though.

It's really frustrating being treated this way. If this happened once I could just assume she no longer wanted to talk to me but because she's done this before I have no idea what's going on.

I'm trying my best to communicate with her but sometimes it's impossible. When she goes full avoidant she'll log out of accounts and turn off notifications (which just makes her anxiety worse).

I wish she would at least tell me she didn't want to talk anymore. That would be preferable to eternal ghosting.

I hate to admit it, but it's really negatively affected me. I've been having trouble staying motivated to do uni and internship stuff and I've even stopped going to the gym. If it was just this I was dealing with I'd probably be able to function better but I also have a few other things going on.

I stg some higher power is trying to end me sending all this stuff my way.

>>81939937 (OP)
>>81940548
To add onto this, her last message to me was an attempt to reach out. I have a feeling that she's ghosting me because I wasn't able to respond immediately and she's too scared to check her messages now. That's just an educated guess though, who knows what's actually going on