woke up early today, went outside to have a smoke now I'm in bed again trying not to cry. fuck! I miss her so much.

how are you anons doing today? hopefully better than me

>>81943372 (OP)
good not great, i feel the exact same way most of the time anon. i was dating this girl back in January and we talked every day all of the time for a month. we hung out irl twice during that span and we had a great time. we were the exact same person in most ways and i really feel like we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together. she eventually started texting back less and when i asked her about it she blocked me on everything. it has torn me apart inside and it's such a challenge getting back out there, i don't think i'm going to try dating again for a while still. i miss her so much it's insane, and i wish things stayed how they were for that month. because it was the best month of my life, and i considered her a great friend. but a friend would not make me feel this way, so fuck her

>>81943434
I felt the same way about her it was like we were the same person happiest 2 months of my life. she never blocked me though but I mean that really doesn't mean much, she can just make a new account and ignore me forever, after all she made that one exclusively to talk to me.
she said something was going on with her family but at this point she was probably lying, wish she just had broken up with me so I could've gotten some closure.

I don't feel ready to date again either, it's been 4 months and I'm still not over her. we met on valentine's day too! now I really do have a reason to hate that day because it's going to bring back painful memories

>>81943509
i feel that man, same with me i wish she just gave me closure. i would have had a lot more respect for her if she just said "hey i'm kinda busy with college right now i'm not gonna be able to continue going out as often, let's keep in contact though!" i don't know why women always make a big deal about communication, when they're the ones that can't communicate most of the time. and yea the blocking thing was fucking heartless, even though what i did say to make her block me was kind of weird in retrospect. but i thought about how i was going to say it for a week, and at the time it felt like the right thing to do. so i guess everything happens for a reason, and the way i look at it now is there's someone even better than her that i'll eventually meet, which is promising. and i'm taking the experience as a learning point so i don't fuck up future relationships like i fucked up this one. things wil get better for both you and me, anon, i know it. but i know exactly how you feel, this month has been especially bad for me and i'm just waiting for college to start up again so i can get back into a routine and forget about her once and for all.

also the valentines day thing fucking sucks dude i'm sorry about that

>>81943372 (OP)
What's up Kingsfield anon. Sorry you still got girl problems. I remember you said you're not too close with your family, but do you have any friends local? Something to get you out of the house?

>how are you anons doing
A little rough, my home repair estimates came back way higher than I thought they would, I'm losing the fight against some old vices, and I didn't work out yesterday even though I promised myself I would. All that said, could be worse so I'm surviving. I was at least able to get some writing done for my D&D campaign.

keeping up a semi separated relationship seems impossible these days. if you dont move in together within months it just will fizzle out no matter how much you like each other.

fuck texting. things fall apart because texting is just not a substitute for seeing people or hearing their voice. its mechanical and distant and artificial. and its tragic because things fall apart over text and people blame themselves when really its cause texting just doesnt fucking work. it makes everyone hate each other. gm sup hbu nmu lol. its not actually talking. you cant talk. writing out even 1 minute of real talking would be an uber long multi screen text. its fucking fake and a lie. and it always always ALWAYS leads to both people feeling ignored from being on read cause the other person was driving or napping and whatever, and then the other person feeling bad for missing text. but after the umpteenth time its so exhausting to be like sorry haha i was asleep that people just drift away. fuck it. do not text. just dont. it just doesnt work for an intense relationship for more than a few days/weeks and it never will.

>>81943372 (OP)
>how are you anons doing today? hopefully better than me
I'm doing okay, anon. if you rape her you'll feel better

how are you such a loser to pine over a girl just because she gave you attention

why don't you go acquire enough value to be taken seriously instead of post this shit here? your value is your choice, no excuses or cope is allowed, if pajeet can go on a boat to the united states and open up a convenience store you can stop being literally worthless

>>81943953
>ibboty givbity gaboonoo ive never actually liked another human being

>>81943372 (OP)
my boss is trying to make me into a do it all guy for minimum wage ofc
im not fucking doing an engineers job for scraps

>>81943900
then what is the solution anon? you don't want to seem clingy and ask to hang out all the time? what do you propose

>>81943756
hi! no I don't have any friends irl I do go for walks every now and then just to get out of the house.
>>81943756
>losing the fight against some old vices
don't give up! man I always wanted to play dnd but you need friends for that

>>81944665
that doesn't seem fair!
>>81943946
rape is bad!!!!

>>81945317
Well I'd go for a nice long walk. Try and relax. Think about things if you need to, or take your mind off if it helps. And you know, stay away from sharp objects.

>always wanted to play dnd but you need friends for that
It's fun, but scheduling sessions tends to be a nightmare. I've two players that consistently cancel last minute and I want to fucking strangle them. They are good friends of mine though so I will instead verbally abuse them.

>>81945386
I usually go on walks at around 5 am when there's not a whole lot of people outside and it's not super hot yet.
I should play videogames to keep my mind off things, I haven't played anything in a while.
and I will stay away from sharp objects I promise!
>scheduling sessions tends to be a nightmare.
that's what sucks about board games in general :( but especially for DnD right?

>>81945452
>I haven't played anything in a while.
Yo, try out Disco Elysium like I recommended. It's so good.

>especially for DnD right
No kidding. You have to tailor the session for the party you have, and if someone is missing then it upsets the balance real bad. Plus, being the faggot that I am, I tailor story experiences to each character and if one is missing it will often completely restrict what missions I can send the party on because there will be a crucial plot beat missing, or a skill that one of them had that's necessary to move things forward, or blah blah blah.

Being a GM is mad gay. I keep doing it to myself for reasons I don't understand

I am reminscing on how much of a bitch boi you are. Also here is your daily dose of muzik.

https://youtu.be/iuSBTlUIQ3s?si=NG6bXGdHQ6QUWS-C

https://youtu.be/2safGftL1iU?si=mYWbI56dCg9bwdpE

>>81945545
oh yeah Disco elysium! I don't have it yet but I do want to try it.
I dunno being GM sounds pretty fun but also exhausting
>>81945559
you know I'm not clicking on those right? get better taste dude

>>81944730
hang out like you belong there. you shouldnt have to ask everytime lol, if hanging out isnt default then you arent even really together. if she isnt just coming over then she doesnt really want to be there.

>>81945586
>sounds pretty fun but also exhausting
Yes.

Anyhow, what do you got going on aside from the big sad? Any luck job hunting?

>>81945739
nothing much, I haven't gone job hunting this week after failing to get a job you kinda lose motivation

>>81945798
I know that game. But you really should keep throwing out applications.

I know that's easier said than done but getting a job, even a shitty one, can do a lot for your self esteem and overall mental health

>>81945870
yeah I will keep trying don't get me wrong I really hope I can get a nightshift but of course I'll take anything I can

>>81945586
>get better taste dude
the music you likes sucks ass and its slow
yea. whats up now you cuck bitch boi ?
still thinking of her while shes fucking other men (bbc)

>>81945915
>slow = bad
yeah that's how I know you're retarded

>>81945907
>hope I can get a nightshift
Nightshift is the tits, in my experience. Frees up your day for errands, no traffic kn the way to work, and usually you get a couple extra bucks for shift differentials. Pain in the ass if you have a family, but as a single guy there's no real downsides aside from fighting your circadian rhythm initially

>>81945915
>thinking of her while shes fucking other men (bbc)
You're the one bring up other niggas' dicks.

>no stock
>no irons
>no optic
>one is missing a fucking handguard
Tell me how you can't hit fucking shit

>>81945966
oh I know I've had nightshift jobs before! usually work is slower at night too! and I'm a night owl so nightshifts are perfect for me! and yeah they do pay a bit more which is always a nice bonus, hehe talking about this is getting me motivated to go job hunting again actually

>>81946062
>talking about this is getting me motivated to go job hunting again actually
See man, it ain't all bad. Sometimes you have to smack your head against the wall for a while but eventually that wall comes down.

>>81945915
Why are Gucci Manes lips chapped? Isnt this nigga rich?
I love YN music as much as the next guy but that shit you posted is trash brother
>>81945985
gotta take these to the tarkov workbench for some modding parts from mechanic only

>>81946082
yeah you're right, thanks man! this conversation got me thinking about my previous job and I actually liked that job the problem was that the schedule was a mess they changed my shift every single month so I could never adjust my sleep schedule, a couple of times I went to work sleep deprived! once I even stayed up for 2 days straight! and I went to work like that! I was having mild hallucinations by the end! no joke!
nothing crazy though just weird black spots and shapes all around me

>>81946103
>Why are Gucci Manes lips chapped
Spent too much time sucking Diddy's cock

>gotta take these to the tarkov workbench
I worked in my Company arms room for a bit, and I've also fired a rifle with all kinds of optic configurations. Even if you know what you're doing, trying to hit anything past 20 yards with no stock AND no optic is a fucking chore. Not to mention that with no hanguard that barrel will burn the piss out of your hands

>>81946103
i guess you dont know this is one of gucci manes old photos when he first started to get rich

>>81946161
>once I even stayed up for 2 days straight! and I went to work like that! I was having mild hallucinations by the end! no joke!
Boy, I remember some times like that back when I was in the service. I legitimately blacked out during land navigation once pointing my rifle at something in the forest. Came to, looked around, shrugged, and went back to trying to find my point.

Sleep deprivation is fuckin wild.

But yeah I've always loved the night time. I hate the sun and I hate being around too many people.

>>81946103
>that shit you posted is trash brother
say that to the black p stones face

https://youtu.be/xhHiGNgBu0U?si=knbexWtLsXKYKots

>>81946197
nah he just needs to put a switch on that shit and walk the opps down as they say.
natural point of aim will figure itself out after his mag dump hits sally and her mother two blocks down the road.
>>81946237
oh i don't like Gucci Mane anyway, you should listen to actually good YN music like Mobb Deep the original YNs

>>81946245
thankfully I never actually fell asleep but I got damn close to falling asleep while standing up that one time lol
>But yeah I've always loved the night time. I hate the sun and I hate being around too many people.
yeah I hate the sun too! and I used to be really uncomfortable being around people but lately I kind of don't care anymore, I still hate the sun a lot hate getting tanned!

Im just trying to warn you guys now. This king field "guy" is a foid or some kind of psyop or a larp. Ignore his threads.

>>81946282
Nigger ain't got tracers. But yeah, sounds like some dhit they'd try.
>why do police persecute them so?

>>81946286
>still hate the sun a lot hate getting tanned!
I'm (ethnically) Irish, but by some miracle I don't burn too easy. Still hate direct sunlight, especially if Im doing work outdoors. Makes it like twice as hard to cool down. And I don't necessarily hate people at gatherings or social events, but I do hate congestion. Pushing past people on the sidewalk and rush hour traffic are two of the things I hate most in life.

>>81946282
https://youtu.be/PojKST_P4cs?si=ss-u6iJ2dFyhTCaA

>>81946363
No.

I'm bored and I appreciate his engagement

>>81946282
Put the P first ! Nigga.

https://youtu.be/2LjytUP64rM?si=0sNE3dQky_P-57tk

>>81946363
what? what makes you think I'm a woman?
>>81946373
>but I do hate congestion.
yeah that sucks I used to have very bad social anxiety so being around people for long periods of time made me really anxious and I would get worried about acting weird and them thinking I'm weird but these days I don't care what normalfags think about me... as um cold as it sounds I know see them as ants hehe not that I think I'm superior or anything like that

>>81946377
Why is YN rap so ass now? Thugshit rap was much better when i started listening to it while shooting shit with my crayon muncher buddies now it has AI and trash verses?
At least listen to NLE choppa or Pooh Sheisty fuck nigga
>>81946363
nah this is shin bro he's cool
>>81946518
im on episode 24 of LOGH, have you given it a watch yet nigga?
>>81946373
the only thing decipherable in this sentence was you saying the Nword are you drunk dude?

>>81946518
>what makes you think I'm a woman?
Honestly your typing style is a little feminine. It's whatever though, trying to get a read on people through text is rough.

>see them as ants
I just know most people are too focused on their own bullshit to look twice at me. I still hate being in public though and find myself ready to draw my gun every time someone touches me. I should probably see a therapist.

>>81946554
>you drunk dude?
Not right now. I said he doesn't have tracers. When you fire a machine gun every fifth round in a belt is a tracer. Basically the bullet has a flare on the back of it. Lets you see where your rounds are impacting. Also lets you accidentally burn down the live fire range.

Then I said that sounds like some shit they'd do (mistyped shit), as in niggers just walking forward and laying on the trigger without aiming.

>>81946633
i've coached 240 ranges and never seen a range burnt, im going to miss all the stupid shit regular Fleet guys do.
some dumb bitch staff shot a whole in her pack though
of course I watched this unfold from the safety of the RSOs booth while listening to BigXtheplug

>>81946554
>im on episode 24 of LOGH, have you given it a watch yet nigga?
not yet sorry! I haven't watched or played anything lately! I will watch it though! I swear!
>>81946633
kek yeah....not the first time someone has told me that

>>81946755
>coached 240 ranges and never seen a range burnt
Where at? In Georgia range fires were a regular issue. It was more or less expected that if you were firing MGs you were going to have to have a squad on standby to go play firefighter.

>dumb bitch staff shot a whole in her pack
That ain't shit, we had a fuckin O-4 step in front of the line during a live fire and take shrap through his trachea.

He survived because our medics were on their shit but that was one of the dumbest things I've seen in my life.

>>81946785
>not the first time
It is what it is. Our mannerisms are what make us who we are.

>>81946857
>where
North Carolina and Cali
That sounds funny i wish i could have seen someone get seriously hurt on the range never happened though.
Also if shin bro was a girl i would have already inducted him to the harem and backshotted him to perfection take it easy on him ok? he's having a rough time

>>81946857
>It is what it is. Our mannerisms are what make us who we are.
that's what happens when you are raised by girls, at least I don't have gay mannerisms irl

>>81946554
>Why is YN rap so ass now?

Because all music is just a trend

>>81946918
>would have already inducted him to the harem and backshotted
Doubt, Range instructors get zero bitches. Too busy screaming at me for stealing extra rounds.

>>81946941
>raised by girls
FUCKIN ROUGH. I can't say much, I was the product of a single mom

>>81947550
my parents aren't divorced but I mean pretty much I was only raised by my mom my dad was just drunk and angry or sleeping all the time seriously there were days when all he would do is call me a faggot and then say nothing else for the rest of the day and also growing up I was very close with my female cousin actually I would mostly hang out with my female cousins but hey! at least I don't have any troubles talking to girls!

>>81947632
>at least I don't have any troubles talking to girls!
Lucky bastard.
I have had someone try to kill me in my own home
I have nearly been run over
I was once narrowly missed by a machinegun during a livefire accident
I have had two crackheads pull knives on me
I was fine through all of that shit, but Im still scared of girls. Fuck my life.

>>81947669
man you really shouldn't be scared sounds like you have tons of stuff to talk about with them! just talk to them the same way you talk to a dude, I mean I get it when I do talk to a girl that I like I still get a bit nervous but other girls it's like whatever

>>81947721
>talk to them the same way you talk to a dude
I do, then they look at me weird and usually stop talking to me.

>>81947811
well yeah some girls are like that which really sucks but that just means they're not worth your time

>>81947839
Fair. I just can't find any weird chicks to hang out with.

I only really leave my house for gym, work, groceries, and church. Also chicks aren't really interested in me because Im a single dad

watching south park helped me

>>81947889
oh you're a single dad? what happened?
it's ok if you don't want to talk about it.

IM SO FUCKING DEAD MY baby :.c ahyhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>>81947959
?????
what's wrong?
originaldesune:@

>>81947550
maybe in the army lol
i encouraged the stealing of rounds so we can get more when the bullet quota had to be routed up.
i was too busy getting in trouble for saying
"my niggas lets switch down some targets good to go?" to be bothered with dumbass range rules i just wanted to wear safari hat, look at Lcpl Gomez's but and drink redbull to care about shit like that

>>81947981
just my kid did not want to live with me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZS1svU29mc&themeRefresh=1

>>81947933
I am going to take a nap after this post, just got off a 12 hour shift and life is gay.

Will talk if the thread is still up when I wake

Anyway, not that interesting of a story. Met a girl in high school, she thought I was cute, I was a gullible 16 year old and over committed. Fast forward a few years, we get married and then have a kid. Fast forward another two years, I'm having trouble finding a good job so I join the Army. Then she decides she wants to be genderfluid, I told her she's dumb because she has ZERO masculine traits and she's been spending too much time talking to retards in Facebook groups. She claims I'm denying her identity, dear John's my ass while I'm on deployment, and makes up some bullshit about me being physically, emotionally, and secually abusive (which is funny because she busted my lip 7 times over the course of our marriage and I never laid a fucking hand on her). Suffice to say, ugly divorce and we end up with half and half custody.

Now I'm a single dad and I wasted my youth and virginity on an ungrateful lying cunt

>>81947988
Man I knew I should have joined the fuckin corps.

Point stands though. Marines get no bitches because they fuck each other.

>>81948046
oh I'm sorry :(
did this happen recently? are you the dad?
>>81948062
oh you had two kids? man she does sound like an ungrateful bitch, that really sucks man! I really don't know what else to say about that honestly just that I hope you're doing better!

>>81948083
>I should have joined the fuckin corps.
nah i'm switching to NG next year to get in on that SF program they have.
I will use my free time to invest in Nigga chain
marines do get bitches just fat ones

>>81948105
>oh you had two kids
No just the one.

>don't know what else to say about that honestly just that I hope you're doing better!
It's been four years since things ended, so I have made my peace. Just bitter at all the firsts I'll never have again because I rushed into things. Love my kid though, he keeps me moving.

>>81948689
>NG next year to get in on that SF program they have.
Don't know nothing about that, actually.

>marines do get bitches just fat ones
You gotta hit up Sems my nigga. I bet she'd like you

>>81949161
its a pretty good program, i was training to go recon in the marines but my swimming was lackluster and i accrued a bunch of injuries from overtraining for 3 years.
i took a job in maritime so i basically swam and worked underwater for a year straight ill join the swimming club in my college and continue that.
but yeah, the army is just better than pretty much any branch if you want to be a shooter.
>sems
no i don't like fat girls and she seems pretty racist anyway

>>81949323
>accrued a bunch of injuries from overtraining for 3 years.
That'll fucking do it. My left leg is all kinda of messed up.

>army is just better than pretty much any branch if you want to be a shooter.
Probably is, I just got sidled with a terrible duty station.

And yeah, Sems was a joke. Im okay with a *little* extra cushion, but Sems is about 100 lbs overweight. And she's an ewhore

>>81949778
Yeah a bad duty station can fuck your entire career up, it fucked mine up and don't mention covid.
> but Sems is about 100 lbs overweight. And she's an ewhore
she wouldn't fuck with a guy like me anyway not that i'd want her to in any case i don't really care about women anymore my destiny is to die in battle while listening to the wu tang clan forever album on repeat

hey man,
by any chance are you gay ?
im looking for a gay companion

>>81949920
obviously not! get out of here with that shit!