is there a word for the feel you get when you find a likeable/funny woman on the internet and discover her only fans?
i wouldnt call it "disappointing", i have no delusions of an actual relationship
i know its all parasocial
but still, its like seeing photos of your school teacher at a leather gay club

>>81946895 (OP)
Disenchanted? Your excitement/good feelings associated wit it got obliterated afterall. Not really upset but it made you lose interest.

>>81946938
i suppose, though i wouldn't really say i admired her
i thought about it, and its more akin to being repulsed by the thought of her now
like theres just a stench or aura, whenever one sees this woman from this point forward
in the back of your mind you think "she whores herself for money online to retards"