>>81960811>is it a bad thing? i don't see how it could affect a future partnerThat's up to you and your future fella, I guess. We all have traumas. I, for example, am extremely racist and I know at least part of that comes from having been gang stomped as a kid for being the white kid on my bus.
Said experience(s) have also made me hyper vigilant in public and I feel legitimately anxious leaving the house without a gun. But it's never caused me any issues and has actually helped me prevent some bad situations.
So realistically, as long as you can find a guy who is willing to work with what you have (or maybe enjoys what makes you tick) you can turn it into something good. Read up on post traumatic growth, if you get the time. Bad experiences leave scars, sure, but you can turn said scars into strength if they are channeled properly.