Will you be able to see death and knowing that you did not do everything in your power to do the right thing? It pains me so much that I will never learn enough, or that my fear or selfishness will make me not do the right thing

>>81962809 (OP)
Made that mistake once and it's something I carry and feel every day. When someone you care about passes then that's all you can do.

Does it matter? You'll need to face death either way. "Will you be able to" nothing, it's not like a lack of mental preparation will stop death.

>>81962809 (OP)
Went to a funeral today, and realized I don't give a shit if I died unfulfilled, it's all bullshit anyway I just want to feel good

If I did "the right thing" I would be killed by the government anyway, and my work would be undone by the retards that are destroying this planet.
So who gives a shit