>be 14
>get Amazon gift card for my birthday
>buy my first dildo, start getting into anal play
>eventually learn to cum without touching my dick
>feels so so so so so so so much than just masturbating the normal way
>keep doing this daily, sometimes more than once daily, for years
>gets to the point where it's pretty much the only way I masturbate anymore, never even really bother touching my dick
>amass a huge collection of toys over time
>ashamed of it but whatever

>be 27
>apartment gets broken into while at work
>nearly everything in my apartment gone, including my chest full of toys
>distraught, but life goes on
>don't jerk off for a while because no toys and also too upset
>wait about a week
>finally get horny again
>try masturbating the normal way for the first time in about a decade
>problem
>can't cum
>can get hard, can get right up to the point where I want to cum but can't actually get over the hill
>spend like 90+ minutes trying and failing to cum
>precum everywhere, dick starting to ache
>give up and go to bed
>try again the next day
>same problem
>give up
>start getting really pent up and frustrated
>third time's the charm?
>...nada
>mfw
I gooned myself into impotence. I don't know how to fix this.

>>81964152 (OP)
Saw this on advice a month ago. How about you make actual threads and not just spam shit copypasta

I wish this was real and I wish I could achieve this level of horny depravity. But neither are the case.

>>81964168
nobody likes you namefag

Dude we gotta get out of here!

>doesn't know the street value of medical grade silicone

>>81964191
why would you want to not be able to cum without jamming something up your pooper

>>81964200
>Waaaah my shit copypasta got called out and I wanted everyone to think my larp was real

Kys

>>81964258
Because I already can't cum ever since I stopped smoking weed

>>81964343
go back to smoking weed

>>81964545
I'd rather be productive even if I can't cum
But I guess I'm on /r9k/ right now so what have I really accomplished

>>81964571
if you can't cum does that mean you can goon for an entire day at a time and still never get there

>>81964591
Maybe
I haven't tried, my sex drive is dead

>>81964152 (OP)
It's not hard to just get some cheapshit toys off of AliExpress or something, anon. You don't need a legion of booty buddies. You don't even need to be exclusive to anal...just use it as a supplement or something, and like you need to take your time with your ass, do the same with your dick.

>>81964152 (OP)
Theres plenty of human dildos on grindr. Stop being retarded

>>81964312
No I too think namefags are annoying attention whores irrespective of whatever the content is of OP's post

Lol this post isn't even good imagine plagiarizing such banal drivel