I want to love someone and give myself away for him but my crippling fear of abandonment won't let me. Handling loneliness is easy by day, but I can't sleep at night. Does anyone else suffer from this?

I've been alone for so long that the idea of being with someone no longer exists in my mind.

midnight and the stars at mid night and those stary skies at midnightly and o thee stars at mid night and the stars to midnight

get a dog or any other pet

>>81973370
Don't you fantasize about it even as a purely fictional scenario?
>>81973378
Sorry about the stroke
>>81973381
I love my cat, it's just obviously not the same type of love

i'm on the same boat. i gave all of my love to a girl, just for her to ditch me. she didn't even talk to anyone else, she ditched me because apparently i was too bad for her

>>81973418
>Don't you fantasize about it even as a purely fictional scenario?
I can't suspend my disbelief enough. The thought of it is completely alien to me at this point. On the bright side, I don't suffer because of it anymore, but I've also become emptier than ever.

>>81973332 (OP)
you could find that within 24 hours but it would not count since it would be a non-chad.

>>81973436
I'm sorry that happened. Did she explain why at least?
>>81973440
Have you ever dated someone?
>>81973451
I'm afraid of catching feelings because if he leaves me I'm fucked

>>81973481
>Have you ever dated someone?
I have lived my entire life without doing that

>>81973332 (OP)
if you don't trust you can't ever love. Love is a risk. And it hurts when you fail because you care. And love is a curse too, you have to one day say goodbye to everyone and everything you ever loved. But...it's still worth it. Because in the end, it's still a gift.

>>81973481
>Did she explain why at least?
i never got closure. her explanations didn't make much sense, as if she were trying to push me away for reasons she couldn't understand herself. have you ever loved someone?

>>81973332 (OP)
If someone acted as sole breadwinner while I sperged out over map games I'd never leave, cheat, look at another women, or think about another woman. Alas, this exchange is so unbalanced that no woman would ever go for it.

>>81973511
Are you old?
>>81973539
You're right. I don't think I'm lovable, so any love I'm willing to give dies before I can communicate it to the other person. I have to snuff it out
>>81973551
I have loved a lot of people in many different ways
>>81973579
So you want to be like, a house husband?

>>81973616
>So you want to be like, a house husband?
Yeah that's right. I would provide my sparkling personality and of course I'd stay in shape, but she'd have to handle all the "productive employment" stuff.

>>81973616
>Are you old?
Yeah, nearly a wizard

>>81973616
>I have loved a lot of people in many different ways
i meant, in a romantic way. like in a way you feel like you'd like to spend your whole life with them

>>81973332 (OP)
yes and its completely destroying whats left of my mental health. i wish i was literally anyone else but me

>>81973332 (OP)
yes actually i made a whole thread about it >>81973072 but uhh now there's to guys larping in there for some reason

>>81973691
Oh lmao that's not you? I thought I was larping with OP and instead it's some rando.

>>81973706
no! that's not me! lmao wtf?

>>81973643
That sounds more like being a trophy husband then
>>81973645
Maybe you wouldn't be able to go out with someone even if the opportunity presented to you since it's been so long. I'm sorry it couldn't happen sooner
>>81973663
I don't think so, at least not in a way that led anywhere
>>81973672
Don't say that, you could always be worse off
>>81973691
>>81973706
Lol!!

>>81973616
>You're right. I don't think I'm lovable, so any love I'm willing to give dies before I can communicate it to the other person. I have to snuff it out
Or maybe you can just stop being so dramatic and learn to trust. Yourself. Others. The world. The world isn't THAT cruel...y'know.

>>81973332 (OP)
i have abandonment issues too! let's love each other i would never ever leave you because i know how much it would hurt you

>>81973737
>Maybe you wouldn't be able to go out with someone even if the opportunity presented to you since it's been so long. I'm sorry it couldn't happen sooner
Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do. Don't be sorry, I'm just some dude on the Internet

>>81973737
>That sounds more like being a trophy husband then
Well I'd do housework too. I'm basically a shut-in so it's not like I'm going to spend all day going out you know? I'd want it to be somewhat codependent and obsessive as well. Reveling in our mutual weirdness but in a mostly healthy way.
It's just a pipedream, or maybe not even to that level. It's a nice to have, not a need to have. I've gone quite a long time alone and I'm perfectly content like this, but we must always be looking for ways to improve our lives or some such, right?

>>81973737
>I don't think so, at least not in a way that led anywhere
what would an ideal relationship look like for you?

>>81973332 (OP)
If your a male. It will go away after around 23/22 if you have been single and never dated in your life, replaced by emptiness and you will become a much more cold and cruel person.
If you are a female. It will forever haunt you and make you suffer.
I already got past it around 22. I dont need love. It is fake.

>>81973833
not OP but this is a lie i'm a male i'm 26 and my fear of being abandoned is worse than ever after my ex left me without saying much

>>81973857
>after my ex left me
read what i wrote before replying.

>>81973332 (OP)
I'd hate to be abandoned but what else is there to do other than to take the risk?