Every guy who's ever been friendzoned feels this pain.

Mario needs to go his own way.

>>81973603 (OP)
they appear in a fucking wedding cake together in mario 64, nintendo is stupid

>>81973690
Nope, it's just a normal 2-tier friendship cake (no 3rd tier, no bride/groom outfits)

>>81973603 (OP)
Why do they need to be in a relationship? I'd rather have nintendo be wholesome

Peach is a blown-out whore, Mario can do better

>>81973757
You think she's taken Bowser's big dragon cock?

>>81973603 (OP)
This Ironically reinforces the Blackpill, making things the way they were supposed to be realistically

>>81973775
But Peach has been around 1985. I thought that girls never friendzoned people back then.

>thanks for saving me from bowser, mario!
>now you need to go

>>81973772
At this point, she has ruined her holes for any other cocks, in fact

>>81973603 (OP)
Family Guy did a bit years ago about Mario getting cuckzoned by Peach.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ32fVB4vE0

>>81973795
If you are as reliable and likeable as a boyfriend is but arent attractive enough and are kept around as a friend thats friendzone, it existed since the start but it was not looked deeply into sufficiently up until recently

>>81973603 (OP)
All women are essentially princess peach. She doesn't take care of her kingdom, she never works to save others.
She just demands and doesn't give back what others work to get for her.

>>81973603 (OP)
>>81973772
>You think she's taken Bowser's big dragon cock?
"oh no mario I've been kidnapped AGAIN!"

>>81973690
They're just friends bro she sent him a letter saying she baked the cake herself. Hardly a wedding cake.

>>81973603 (OP)
Peach is for big koopa cock

>>81973603 (OP)
Nintendo is just trying to be realistic here with relationships

Mario should marry Birdo

>>81973603 (OP)
Who have sex with each other

>>81974062
>"oh no mario I've been kidnapped AGAIN!"
they dont call her peach for nothin

>>81974062
While the cuck implications is funny, Bowser is saying telling the Mushroom Kingdom
>Comply with me or Ill kill your head of state
Everytime he abducts Peach

Mario should keep peach in a cage and let that turtleback dweeb roam mushroom kingdom for her friendship instead. Actually I take it back put peach in a public pillory and let toads put loads into her that stupid fat slut bitch blonde haired WHORE

>>81974162
>comply with me or I'll stretch her holes out for the entire kingdom to see
>AGAIN

>>81974205
>unironically bitching about something that exists to keep Mario games running

>>81974162
The problem with that theory is that he knows Mario is tearing through his army coming for Peach and doesn't kill her. If that theory was true, he would kill Peach once he saw his demands were ignored

Enraged, Mario beat her... she screamed and cried and begged him to stop but he wouldn't stop he jjust kept hitting her over and over again... he's a violent man. Even Luigi was shocked but he said nothing he was scared too and he knew Mario's explosive temper..... Mario beat her so badly her face was dislocated from her skull...... he then proceeded to rape her until she died....... he sold her flesh to cannibals, her skin to shoemakers, and her organs on the black market............. then he set her castle on fire and took a shit on her grave............... why did this happen.........................

>>81974210
Implying that slut isn't just the mushroom master plan to goon bowser while they ramp up nuclear armament

>>81974222
he can't kill her she has 1 ups so she'll just revive endlessly so he has to kidnap her

I've been in unrequited love with a girl for 13 years (we met at 14) how do I get her to love me romantically

>>81974321
Feed her blue ones till that bitch is small enough for a glass jar
Oh yeah I'll bake her a cake alright

>>81974244
Can you stop writing smut pretty please

>>81974437
Kill someone......g