I am so obsessed with internet virgins that if I didn't believe they basically don't exist in real life and that everyone is having sex at my work or on the street that I would believe they were living in my walls.
Every moment of the day I am thinking about them. I attribute every little thing wrong in the world to internet virgins. In my mind I have tortured them to death a thousand times over already.
This isn't healthy, make it stop.