>all my work undone
>all my efforts in vain
>all that's left are memories of better days
>all that's left are regrets and the feeling of "not doing enough"
you guys ever heard the Portuguese term "Saudade"?
I'm feeling it now, I'm letting it all sink in.

How do you deal with this feeling, /r9k/? This "shame"?

>>82053841 (OP)
Having bad feelings about the past is illogical because only your current situation has any bearing on your future

>>82053852
So what, just do it all over again?
Is that all to life? Do thing, thing dies out eventually, do thing again?

>>82053866
>just do it all over again?
Ideally, you do it right the first time. If that first time doesn't work out, ideally the next first time works out.

>>82053884
>Ideally, you do it right the first time.
Ideally
Realistically, there's no replacement for memories of what once was

I read a thing once, about how us humans never live long enough to see the consequence of our actions - I feel like I've lived a thousand lifetimes alone, and at the same time I feel like I've never lived at all

>>82053905
I don't think people would have been happy remaining in relationships that they miss. It reeks of codependency. Be an interesting person on your own merits, and you'll meet more people who will actually like you and pursue you. You might like them back!!

>>82053926
It's not just past relationships for me, anon
My granma's sick and dying, I visited her today - what once was a strong, stocky, and cheerful woman is now a husk, a skeleton, counting down the days to her death

I realized that on my paternal side, when she passes, there's no one left
My grandad's dead, My dad's dead, and I have one uncle sure but he's old and has no kids of his own - so that's that
I went to her house after the hospital, just wanted to check on what's changed
All the memories, the moments, all will be gone - it's inevitable

It just made me re-think life and what I've missed, my priorities, my future
I know I can do it all over again, start over as long as I'm capable, maybe in the future be a grandad myself - but it's not the same, it'll never be the same

>>82053852
The past dictates the future.

>>82053841 (OP)
you guys ever heard the Portuguese term "Saudade"?
Pois claro, ora pois.

>>82054044
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_cost
>>82054007
There, there. Everything will be OK. Your parents and grandparents put all of that work into you so that you would be all right after they're gone. They taught you everything that you need to know to live simply and be happy. Honor the work that they put in to teach you.

>>82054053
Ora pois, Emanuel, foda-se!

>>82053841 (OP)
Is portuguese both European and Brazilian the sexiest sounding language in the world?

>>82054086
>Is portuguese Brazilian
Is King Charles an American?

>>82053841 (OP)
i'm not a lusophone but that doesn't really encapsulate what saudade means. it can only really be felt through music desu
>>82054053
>>82054079
are you familiar with duende? do you think duende is sort of another side to saudade? https://www.poetryintranslation.com/PITBR/Spanish/LorcaDuende.php

>>82054069
>Honor the work that they put in to teach you
I just hope I have the willpower to do so, thanks anon

I guess there is an element of "sunk cost" into it too
There was a point in time right after my grandad passed and my dad was going through a rough spot, that the bank decided to re-posses my grandma's home
I don't remember the details why, but my dad was desperate, so he turned to me - his eldest son for help

My dad "borrowed" my college fund - in a way, he "ruined" my future to save hers
No proper education for me, did every job I could right after high school and I'm still going nowhere
But now that he's gone and she's going, the house will eventually be gone too

I don't know, anon
I feel like a selfish prick for even thinking this way, and this sort of thing has happened twice now in my life haha

Personally, saudade is a feeling you just let yourself feel until you don't feel it anymore. It can bring both positive emotions or negative emotions, but it's always a little bit melancholic. Furthermore, saudade is there to show how living also means to lose something over time, though you will also form new bonds simultaneously, that's how life works. So pay attention to the present and notice some good things about it, because maybe you'll miss it in the future. Lastly, notice how beautiful is saudade and the experience of feeling it.

>>82054379
Yeah, it's finally sinking in that this is it
I can't get back what I've lost, but I can get what I've yet to take - and the future's ripe for taking

>>82054115
I have no idea what all that is about. As far as I know a Duende is just some little guy, a sort of gnome. I will read the article later. Maybe