What do you think? All feedback appreciated!

Starts promisingly, then rapidly degrades in terms of both prose and content until the schizophrenic mess of concepts comes full circle and establishes itself as ironic meta-poetry.

>>82075466
About what's the cutoff point and I'll rewrite it

>>82075501
When you mention Jeffrey Dahmer

>>82075424 (OP)
It could be a good intro to new cultural code

>>82075637
What is "new cultural code"?

>>82075424 (OP)
Anon niggers aren't human, prisons are basically animal control.

Firstly, as another anon mentioned, the reason america locks up so many people is because we have niggers. Secondly, it's not a bloody system if we just detain people and don't kill them. Remember what blood means.
Thirdly, most of that was nonsense and doesn't connect to each other, it's simple shower thoughts or something that sounded better in your head.
Lastly, "america is a kind of cultural eclipse" what the fuck does this mean.

I'm not going to say this to insult you, let me preface with that. But this is horrible and has next to no value. It is for this reason that I think it may be very popular with today's average consumer so congrats.

>>82075424 (OP)
Whats your criticism? Capital punishment? The prison system? Whatever it is, you dont actually seem to make any point about it, so this is just kinda pretentious. I would personally recommend adding more substantive criticisms.

Also, from a rhetorical standpoint (I oppose rhetoric, but I think its worth mentioning), naming people who definitely belong in prison is neither an effective critique of the prison system, nor is it the direction that most advocates take.

>>82075733
rewriting it anyway. but value is subjective.

>>82075787
What's your opinion on the rewrite anons?

> If my mother had merely been confronted by the butt-plug on my computer chair, oversized by any objective assessment, and still umber-streaked, standing proud on the cushion recently soaked by my vaginal transudate: well, that would have been embarrassing, but tolerable.
> Had she instead observed her elderly and long-neutered cat engaged in vigorous intercourse with one of my fluffy pink slippers, for some reason, aroused by the scent of my feet: again, that could be borne.
> If she, while delivering my share of the clean laundry, had noted that I was inhaling deeply of a pair of my five-days-dirty panties, that, in isolation may have been disregarded.
> For all three, essentially simultaneously? For that, she had words.