is academia truly the only way forward for me?
I've tried to self learn and stuff, but I just can't motivate myself to do it. It all feels so dry and boring...
And I just can't seem to complete any kind of project either. I put up too many barriers.

>>82081287 (OP)
no, you can also wage

>>82081315
but I want more than just money.
I want to learn things.
Working in a warehouse won't get me anywhere. And I likely won't move up from there; I can't talk to people / network. I'm not like you.

>>82081420
What do you want to learn? I can relate to this post but I think the only to do this is by forcing ourselves to go forward even without the motivation.

>>82081420
well, that's why we have such a robust trade program in america. with over 50 different options it's easy to feel like you can truly learn anything

>>82081548
It's hard to explain, but anything really to do with maths and computers. I want to solve maths problems, mod games, maybe bypass restrictions, but I can never motivate myself. Sure I can read about some implementation details of different things a little, but it feels like that's all I've ever done. When I try to do stuff, I just can't do it, it's too hard. And then it's not rewarding and I don't want to go back to it.
I put up these barriers on how I have to do it which doesn't help.

Also I want to make software projects, but I can never actually get anywhere with it at all. There's always something that stops me.

I'm just tired of being a piece of shit that just scrolls online.
Or watches pornography.
I keep telling myself to write that thing, but myself is just scared to do it.
And learning is always so dry and feels pointless.
I don't want to do the exercises in the books or memorise the definitions.
And I have nothing to do.
Feels like I don't REALLY have anything to do.
I just sit at home all day.
I have no reason to do all these things.

I used to play the game called LBP on ps3. It was so easy to mess around and make shit. But even then I could never make a good level. Still I miss the game ALOT. One thing I want to do is write a game that has a similar create-mode but is 2D and top-down, but I just can't get myself to do anything.

>>82081702
>>82081783 (Not sure if this is OP too)
You cannot avoid the fear and suffering of trying new things and learning brother