I feel like ive completely lost it the past few days. I was an alcoholic for a few years. Drinking 3 or more shots every other hour just to make it through the day. I had to quit my job because of it. I was getting in fights at work and going on drunken rants at co-workers, and the next day I didn't remember any of it. They protected me, but I eventually felt that it was immoral to keep letting them do that when I kept hurting others. I've been pretty much sober. I decided to have a drink and I immediately went overboard. I probably had 9 or more shots hard liquor and a few shots of maybe 20%. I cant remember really. I guess im just disappointed. I was doing good. Not really having any liquor. Now two days in a row I have drank. I feel like I just slid complete back into old ways, and I dont even know why. Alcoholism feels like something that is just going to haunt me the rest of my life. Anyone else here feel this?

>>82082529 (OP)
I'm too cheap to be addicted to anything. I'll just shoot myself instead when this storyline was due to come up.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_a7CJn6bMlk&pp=ygUZUGF0IHRoZSBidW5ueSBtb29uIGJhbmRpdA%3D%3D

Hope you learnt your lesson anon.

>>82082564
I didn't, and I won't learn it. I guess I just want you fags to berate me and call me worthless. Because that is what I am. Im drunk again, I'm here again, and I shouldn't be. I should have my shit together by now. I'm at my lowest point in years again, and I just need people to kick me in the teeth. I wish someone would actually just fucking beat the shit out of me. I wish my co-workers would have done it. I wish they wouldnt have protected me. I wish they would have just let me fall on my sword because that is what I deserve. Im so tired of being in the same place. I just keep treading water. Nothing i fucking do moves me forward at all.

>>82082609
>How the knife right there looks at your veins

>>82082613
I won't commit suicide. I'm too much of a coward for that. I need you to just berate me.

>>82082622
Good. Now go get up and do something productive tomorrow, even if its something little like cleaning or picking up some of the trash on the floor, do something. You faggot

>>82082529 (OP)
Just train yourself to have a single beer. Have a simple goal of like only for three days, you will have one beer a day. And if you do it, you can get wasted on the 4th day. Or something like that.

>>82082529 (OP)
Honestly 5 years ago I stopped drinking alcohol for weed. I think they call it California sober. That's because of the COVID lockdowns and Canada legalizing weed. I stopped having a drinking problem but the weed addiction has been hard to shake. I stopped liking alcohol somewhere along the way.

TFW I'm too poor to drink myself to death. I certainly want this misery to end.