I can't take this anymore. My dad's family came from different countries, to visit our house for the first time. But I can't communicate in their language well, I can't relate to them. Every interaction feels patronizing. I can feel them judging and feeling sorry for me because I'm a retarded neet. But I have to be a good host and good nephew, and make sure they have a good impression of me somehow. I don't have the competence to do so. There are too many people in this fucking house, and I hate this culture of "respect" that I feel like I need to maintain, on top of my parents being embarrassing loons themselves.

I can't help but hate family, tradition, culture, they're nothing but burdens, just leave me the fuck alone, aaaaaaaa. But even then, just thinking this makes me feel selfish and like a bad person. I'm so fucking miserable I feel like I could die from this.

This is how it is being a Christian a little, it's fucked up and being a Christian is a little how it's like to be me and I'm like some other thing that's deeper in a world of shit.

iirc this is a tomb guardian or someshits
I bought a lot of yugioh cards for like 30$ it's 3000 cards though, I had a dream about these cards and pokemon last night. I have a lot of cards but a lot of them are duplicates, really for the lot it's not bad at all. I gave away cards in the past since they're witchcraft. Like a us marine sometimes I realize I love the shit, for sane people this is impossible to understand, it's all in the dark side of the force all the secrets of the universe.

>>82114653
we will never escape our shit.

the first step is psychic power, you already feel your family feeding on your loosh