i cant shake the urge to kill myself no matter what i do

>>82143920 (OP)
remember the good times op

>>82143929
right now are the good times,, it doesnt matter, im happy, im fine, it doesnt matter, id rather kill myself. I just hate this experience even the god parts, im gonna have to just fucking die because i dont like it im sorry i cant like life

it will probably always be that way. I've been suicidal since around puberty I think some people are just cursed with a death drive. try to spend your 20s learning something that makes you feel better about yourself or highly proficient in a specific trade or field. as long as you don't throw away your 20s the suicide thing will probably only be a background thought in your 30s

shake ya ass instead

>>82143966
i already have multiple skills and "succsesus" and i just...dont fucking care, i just dont. I cant find anything to care about even stuff im "good" at i just dont find it fun, i cant take this anymore, i can not

>>82143966
>as long as you don't throw away your 20s
big ask

>>82143996
then it's time for therapy dude you got some childhood shit going on for sure

>>82144017
Ive been to over 10 diferent therapists, tried over 20 meds and been to 3 different mental wards, they all made everything worse every single time , im not going to make it worse again that way

pity bump
blox

>>82143920 (OP)
I'd want to kms if I was Jewish too, anon.

>>82144496
im not jewish.
what the fuck man

>>82143920 (OP)
So what's holding you back ?
My life is a nightmare but I still,haven't killed myself because I don't see the point, both dying and living seems unappealing

>>82144647
i have a date and a method lined up :(

>>82144653
What's yr method going to be, you should visit sanctioned suicide I was on there for a while

have you tried masturbating to bbw latinas?

>>82144661
im going to freeze myself to death in the forest, im gonna get drunk and high and get naked next time it gets really cold and douse myself in water and id be dead in a few hours ha ha

I will an hero this year, I'm sure of this.

>>82143920 (OP)
Unironically just make money. I used to be in the same position as you, in fact I actually tried to hang myself with a belt robin williams style but I was too retarded to figure out the logistics of it. Regardless, I started making a shit ton of money and my life has improved immensely. By all other metrics my life is worse (I have no social life, am in a foreign city with no friends or family within hundreds of miles, and all I do other than work is go to the gym and browse 4chan), yet I feel so much better. I have not even spent any of the money I've just been saving it, and my work isn't fulfilling at all, I literally just sit in my car all day.

>>82144754
im mentally disabled retarded unironically, no education, cant drive, cant pay bills, ergo cant get money at all whatsoever

Here's a Pic I like

>>82143920 (OP)
>i cant shake the urge to kill myself no matter what i do
Try doing recreational drugs.
Psychedelics like acid and mushrooms may give you a different prespective.
People praise ketamine for dealing with depression.
Stimulants like meth or amphetamine or MDMA will make you focus on one thing and will distract you.
Downers like opioids will melt your trouble away.
It's not a surefire solution, but it's worth a try if more conventional meds and therapy didn't work.

If that doesn't work, it's your right to take your own life. Do try not to leave a mess and I hope it'll be painless.

>>82144783
In that case I'd just recommend an heroing. Honestly I don't think suicide is that bad of an option in general, you didn't ask to be in this world, but at least you can decide when you go out. If you don't wanna do that just get real autistic about some super niche shit and try to find a way to monetize it. You can probably do that from home in the modern year.

>>82143920 (OP)
that's because you repeat the same bullshit over and over again, all day, every day
https://www.reddit.com/r/toolgifs/comments/1mmpmrh/tunnel_blasting/

try something new

>>82144908
I did shrooms and lsd before, it was ok, did not help me, i dont have money anyways for drugs so idk
>>82144919
yeah honestly im just gonna kms, im out of ideas, i tried getting autistic hobbies, nope, nothing there for me

>>82144937
like what , i literally just got back from running atound in the woods before posting, i went and fought in a boxing match last week, i made albums, wrote books, made a cartoon, i dont like this world or what it has to offer me im sorry i hate it