>>82147348 (OP)same here, except i think i'm finally starting to understand how my autism is a blessing rather than a curse. i just need to live my life in the most genuine, feel good, least forced, easy way possible. i'm already on neetbux so that's good, but i spent most of my time before beating myself up that i'm not doing things i imagine i should be doing for myself. so what i started doing was embracing a 'daily reset' lifestyle, wherein i'd begin the day immediately doing things i genuinely want to do and that make me feel good (do the bed, wash dishes, etc), and the moment i screw up at any point i tell myself "welp, this day's fucked, let's try again tomorrow". what i noticed is that i acted more genuinely a little more every day, i'm finally on the verge of starting to make video games which is a dream i had for a long time. i think neurodivergent people discern truth and falsehood far more vividly than neurotypicals, especially in their personal lives. that's why if a little detail in your day goes wrong, it feels like nothing can work at all. i spent so long fantasizing about a life that i knew could be real, and the way to do that is by immersing yourself in the fantasy, and wait for the beginning of a new day to do it again if the fantasy crumbles. at some point you'll be on a streak of living day after day in your personal fantasy, it'll be like being a kid again.