sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on here who is actually cheerful and doesn't absolutely hate their life. I'm just really bad at socializing with people in person (autism), so I come here because It's easy to simply lurk and have anonymous conversation. So if I accidently say something stupid (which I usually do) it's not as embarrassing. Anyone else on here who isn't an angry incel and is actually content? I usually avoid talking to the folks who are mean for no reason, so It'd be nice to meet some others who try to be kind despite the harsh world.

and to those who are mean; why? What makes your life so miserable you feel like being mean to people? (genuine question)

and to those who are kind; what makes you want to stay kind despite how cruel the world can be?

I hate this world. But at the same time it's easy to escape so I don't totally hate my life. I'm not mean because it means more eyes are on me, being nice means being invisible which means it's easier to disappear into my own little world.

>>82177697 (OP)
my guilt wont let me be

my only choices are be nice

or feel guilty

XD

>>82177697 (OP)
I'm a wizard and happy with it. Never intended not to be one. Being cruel doesn't help anything. Live and let live and all that jazz.

>>82177697 (OP)
>and to those who are mean; why? What makes your life so miserable you feel like being mean to people?
Feeling mistreated and wanting others to know how they made me feel.

I'm not a hateful person, my sources of sadness are all my own doing or related to mental shit. I probably could have had a girlfriend if I wasn't so shit at socializing and forming connections. Low self-esteem, depression, and OCD have been my biggest challenges.

>>82177722
I see your point of view anon, but don't you feel bad making random people sad? I understand if they're mean too, but it's like stealing candy from an innocent baby to my heart. I would put that energy making those who hurt me feel that instead.

OP here, I would like to add that I was not always like this either. I am not naively kind. I used to hate most people because it seemed like whenever I tried to befriend them they would always think I was weird and never give me a proper chance. Even though I knew that if they really got to know me we'd probably get along. So, I started to judge those people too, I would hate them and think THEY'RE weird without getting to know them first. And then I realized, I was doing the same thing as them. What if they were just like me, and I pushed them away? Sometimes you have to understand that you cannot judge a book by its cover and you just have to try to find the right people. Yes, I do have it harder because I have autism, but I won't let that stop me from trying to find good friendships. The world is difficult for us, but instead of saying "hey the world sucks. So I'm going to be miserable!" is a disservice to yourself. Give yourself a chance anons, you're not as putrid and unlikable as you think. You're just playing it up because you think "well if I'm mean on purpose then I know that they're rejecting me because of something I'm doing on purpose". Being mean is like your suit of armour. This is kind of a long speech, but I hope someone understands my point and can have hope for themselves. hopemaxx now!!!

>>82177697 (OP)
I'm pretty content with life even after a few despairing events, life goes on anyways

Being kind is what I want to be. Why let cruelty make me cruel? Your mindset depends entirely on you, even if the whole world feels like its against you.

>>82177697 (OP)
I can't tell at this point if I'm cruel or kind, I don't really do anything for anyone else and I don't fuck with people ever but I carry a lot of bitterness and resentment from things that have happened to me. I'm mostly angry at myself and my immediate circle rather than society at large or women as a collective in the way that most anons here are.