When i was born i was told that i had meningitis. doctors said i would remain retarded by 10 years until im 20, im 30 years now and feel like i didnt experience a normal childhood. I had to learn and mimic how people behaved. I was basically the strange kid at school. Thankfully a popular guy befriended me and teached me how to behave and talk, everything basically.

So nowdays i can discern a person within 5 minutes of talking with them. I can read their "core" so to say. I know when they lie, their body language and what they crave for, their insecurities, If they trustworthy and honest. Its scary to the point that i distance myself from everybody. Im also very sensitive to sound and I love AND hate being alone. I feel at peace and lonely at the same time. I cant wrap my feelings on what i am.

I have one dream which is to be free from the mental shackles of worry and just drive with a motorcycle along the beach with a cute girlfriend carefree as the wind blows against our faces. Im very free spirited and romantic person and getting chained down by a job is not my thing hence why i have been a neet for 10 years now.

I wish i wasnt like this.