>>82213626 (OP)Im ready to be older, if I could jump 10 years into the future and be 30 I would, 10 years would be enough time for my life to be unrecognizable, enough time for several opportunities to come my way and I know I will have probably at least seized one of them. Im stuck in this liminal state of living to survive but not living to live, not by my own choice but by the circumstances life has given me. I hope by then I will have at least clawed my way into the middle class, had enough time to make some art I was proud of and be able to contribute something of meaning to the world. Maybe by then I would be able to live without the need of a drug to sustain myself long enough to work my wagie job and pull together what little I can just to keep the electricity running and have some ramen in the cupboard.