Thread 82762582

it's friday, nonny. you're going to be doing something tonight, right? you'll be happy this weekend doing all kinds of things, right? you won't be ensorcelled in the same loop of nothingness, right? it's easy to be happy, right?

just kidding. it's nothing again. with nobody! while everyone else has their someone! i am so hungry that i am wasting away. i can't stand going outside anymore.

>>82762582 (OP)
>it's friday, nonny. you're going to be doing something tonight, right? you'll be happy this weekend doing all kinds of things, right? you won't be ensorcelled in the same loop of nothingness, right? it's easy to be happy, right?
Nope, I never do anything, I won't be happy this weekend and I don't do anything on weekends. I will be ensorcelled in the same loop of nothingness. It is easy to be happy if you're normal, but I am a loser.
>>82762671
>just kidding. it's nothing again. with nobody! while everyone else has their someone! i am so hungry that i am wasting away. i can't stand going outside anymore.
Same.

>>82762582 (OP)
i'm gonna play football tomorrow with some frens, i didn't want to but i already say yes

>>82762582 (OP)
I'm enjoying a podcast and talking with people on this board :). I got to learn some things too, so I'm happy.

>>82762690
doing things makes me happy. i don't have anything to do anymore, though. you can be happy when abnormal, when you're lucky enough. there are lucky people in the world. not you nor i i suppose.

>>82762710
do you regret saying yes in times like that?

>>82762718
what is the podcast about?

>>82762671
i can relate to that more than i wish i did.
i'm so sorry, anon.

>>82762772
>what is the podcast about?
Some news and the odd bit of internet drama. I'm more satisfied about the chemistry stuff I learned though. What plans or stuff do you have for the weekend, OP? What all did you do today?

>>82762582 (OP)
no, no, i will, god no. next question

>>82762788
what did you learn in chemistry?

i have no plans for today. nothing for tomorrow. nothing next week, next month, next year. nothing anymore, nothing to do, no one to do anything with. all my plans are washed away like sand castles at the beach. years worth of ideas eaten by the tides. i will rot, rot, rot away.

>>82762781
my fault for being so sick in the head i guess

>>82762832
Hm. You seem familiar, I hope you'll cheer up, fren and that things will get better for you. It ain't easy being Italian.
>>82762834
>what did you learn in chemistry?
There was an anon I was fearsomely interrogating to get information about oxidizers and stuff. I think I might've annoyed him some, but I generally learned that my idea would be pretty hard to make happen.

Also, I see. What kind of ideas? About your own future? I can relate to that, although I fucked my life over a long time ago. I built up new ideas though, mostly just fantasies that I'm unlikely to ever achieve. I still get joy out of coming up with them and sometimes people like my ideas too. Then they tell me I should really go to college for X.

>>82762865
>fucked up the spoiler
God dammit.

>>82762865
there are not enough mamma mias in the world to deal with all the horrors of existence. but thanks

>>82762772
yes and no, i know that i will have a nice afternoon but man i really wanted to rest this weekend

>>82762935
But the horrors of the world are wonderful :), just not the ones that involve dealing with people because those are depressing. It's October too, gotta celebrate horror! Behold a suicide bombing ant! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colobopsis_saundersi

I'm not sure if you are talking about yourself or if you want us to talk about ourselves. In any case, will you fight your own nothingness this weekend? It's hard, the void act as a shadow that is always by our side. But make some effort, anon, and I'm sure great things await you, even if it's unclear or slow.

>>82762834
>my fault for being so sick in the head i guess
not your fault, really
i'm just... i like to be alone in my misery you know? i wish you didn't have to go through that too
i'd give you a hug if i could but yeah... please take good care of yourself, ok?

even if you have no plans, then make a plan out of making a plan
next plan: plan out what you want to do for the rest of today
what would you like to do?

>>82762960
>just not the ones that involve dealing with people
those might just be the worst ones indeed... but i do like spooky things sometimes! halloween is my favourite time of the year after all.
>link
very scary ant! i wonder how the hell nature even comes up with ways to make this stuff possible.heh i had a hunch it was you anon. i dont want to hijack this thread, but you should come and say hi in one of my threads sometimes if you want! i hope you've been doing well.

>>82763109
Nature never ceases to create horrors :). But I have come up with my own >B^). Halloween is indeed the best time of year and I am unbiased in this matter. The pictures of them entangling their foes are also crazy. I'll spoiler it for those sensitive to goo or bugs. I'll take you up on that, although I won't be awake for much longer today so it can't be tonight.

I'll try to not hijack OP's thread now too.

first shower in a week bleh

>>82762865
i gave up on my own future. i don't see much point going along the same route alone anymore. i already have everything, i am like a kid tired of their toys. fantasies exist sure, things i wish i got to do or could do, but they are all two player games.

>>82762945
are you not able to pull out at the last moment and say something came up?

>>82762979
there is nothing to fight it with or for. effort to do what? there is nothing i want anymore. i had great things, and now they are gone. the effort to try have those great things again is not worth it.

>>82762983
no sankyu, i wish to rot and decompose now. there is no more plans to make, because they're all useless. what's the point in planning for activities with someone by my side as a constant psychic damage reminder of things i crave i cannot have?

what do i want to do? i wanna go eat hot pot and talk about nonsensical stuff.

>>82763109
>>82763160
feel free to chat there's no real theme

>>82762878
your life really does suck

>>82763615
>what's the point in planning for activities with someone by my side as a constant psychic damage reminder of things i crave i cannot have?
again, a bit too close to home, lol
but fair, i see where you're coming from
but like, at least answer me one thing: would you prefer the company of a guy or a girl?

>i wanna go eat hot pot and talk about nonsensical stuff.
well i can't really offer you any hot pot but i can talk nonsense with you
tell me, do you dream? if so, what kind do you usually get?

>>82763724
>but like, at least answer me one thing: would you prefer the company of a guy or a girl?
no preference. anyone's company.

>>82763724
>well i can't really offer you any hot pot but i can talk nonsense with you
words on a screen do nothing for me anymore, i am afraid.. if so i would just go back to my chatbots again.

>tell me, do you dream? if so, what kind do you usually get?
nightmares of people who have left me. what about you?

>>82762582 (OP)
Nah, will try to sleep early or something cuz tonight's gonna be a boring motherfucking night, tomorrow however, won't be the case. hopefully

>>82762582 (OP)
Maybe I'll find a woman to talk to and she'll ghost me in the morning. I'll feel the slow withdrawal from the conversation and shorter and shorter answers as I genuinely start to care for her a little bit. Then I'll spend my saturday fantasizing about what it would be like to go see a good movie or just cuddle and fall asleep and provide warmth to with someone who is special to me.

>>82763924
>no preference. anyone's company.
then i hope you find a fren soon, anon

>words on a screen do nothing for me anymore, i am afraid..
poor you.
frankly i don't see just "words on a screen", they've been typed by someone else, words that came out of someone's mind, someone's heart
the method of communication may change but i still see the people behind them
i'm sorry you're desensitized to the point you can no longer see them... i don't really know what to say in that case

have you been going outside then? trying to make new frens?
people will leave, but some might stay

>nightmares of people who have left me.
usually the nightmares i had involved them dying or otherwise tormenting me instead
nowadays i dream of fantastic scenarios, or alternate realities, or the future
few weeks ago i dreamed of a situation back at work where i was resolving some conflicts on my current project, some guy wearing black walked beside me and i'd tell my coworker about it, etc.
and then a few days later it happened exactly as i dreamed, to the last detail, and i managed to recall it all before it happened so it was spooky as fuck

but i've also dreamed of having telekinetic powers, of killing nightmares by beating them down or slicing them with the crucible blade, etc.
they're quite varied but sometimes i wonder if they're just dreams, lol

>>82763982
i think thats what i'll do too. just sleep away these wistful days. while i sleep, the world turns and people smile and have fun. depressing.

>>82763983
why would you want to be ghosted.. thats the most painful experience of all isnt it?

>>82764139
>then i hope you find a fren soon, anon
found and lost, and not to return. i cant change it and it hurts.

>have you been going outside then? trying to make new frens?
more than people seem to believe. i dont just do nothing? i try really hard? and it all comes up dry. nothing changes. new connections don't click. i want my old ones back...

there's no advice or well wishes or actions that can undo what's done. it sucks.

>>82762582 (OP)
>went to hospital and almost died a couple of weeks ago
>friend is too scared of inviting me over now because he doesn't want to tempt me to drink

>>82765135
I also went to the hospital and almost died a couple weeks ago... twinsies desu nee

>>82765157
That's funny. Someone I know was in hospital a couple of weeks ago too.

>>82765110
>found and lost, and not to return. i cant change it and it hurts.
every friend we make is truly unique and irreplaceable
i've lost friends and loves in the past too so i can relate, i can't understand you but i can relate, anon
unfortunately there's not much to do but keep trying to make new ones, while keeping the old ones in your heart

>i dont just do nothing? i try really hard? and it all comes up dry. nothing changes. new connections don't click.
it takes time, anon
sometimes more time, sometimes less... and you're right, sometimes they don't click

it's true, you only get one shot and it sucks to screw up, but all we can do is move past them and screw up again and again until we get it right
otherwise we just... die inside and that's worse than dying physically

don't lose hope, anon
new frens might be closer than you think
i don't mean to undo the past, just to bring you some solace and maybe hope
but it's all up to you

tell me, how did you lose your friends?

i can't stand it. i could be doing so much but i have nothing to do. nothing, nothing, nothing. everything gone. i know the potential i know so much and all of it burns a hole in my head. i'm just going to drink as much as i can in one go and then sleep. ya, this world sucks.

>>82763615
>there is nothing to fight it with or for. effort to do what? there is nothing i want anymore. i had great things, and now they are gone. the effort to try have those great things again is not worth it.
I see. You just need time for yourself I guess. No need to feel like the world has ended, just go on your own pace and suddenly you will find joy in living again.

Was nonny mean everyone keeps giving me different answers
I get "kys nonny" or "your my nonny"
Spoonfeed me pls

>>82765110
>>why would you want to be ghosted.
I don't, it's just what will most likely happen

>>82762582 (OP)
i think i'll just rot away while thinking about how much i miss her and wishing i could just get back with her
and i'll try to distract myself or enjoy my hobbies then i'll just think about her anyways

>>82765262
witch hats are moe !!! cheer up anon

cnt sleep guess it wasnt enough up we go

>>82765320
the world has ended i have gone my own pace my entire life thers no more joy to be had in living like this anymore. i hate my existence. i hate xisting like this.

>>82765356
cute way to say "anon"

dat will be $10 your invoice is in the mail

>>82765793
what compels someone to make the cutest little doodle filled with such soul for somewan hated with all of their heart,,

i will cherish this

>>82762582 (OP)
>it's friday, nonny.
Yep
>you're going to be doing something tonight, right?
Nah, just good old videogames, maybe some FUNGER if i feel like it. Also, any party is tomorrow or in sunday so this night is just to chill.
>you'll be happy this weekend doing all kinds of things, right?
Maybe, maybe not happy but just fine, maybe enjoying the little things, maybe i just need to cry a little this weekend, who knows.
>you won't be ensorcelled in the same loop of nothingness, right?
I mean, it isn't nothingness if i ain't dead, but it is a loop, just not one that i dislike, go out to just walk and hear music does wonders.
>it's easy to be happy, right?
Yeah, you just got to not think about it too much, life is already too complitcated to also overthink about it, simplicity is the dead of the dread against an uncertain future in a chaotic universe.
>>82762671
Not everyone else, everyone else is most than probably also alone, friend.

I enjoy the weekends because I look forward to the weekend /v/ streams

>>82766215
just shut the fuck up bitch you say nothing, you want nothing from anyone here by your own admission, fuck off already

>>82763615
I see, although I try to keep fantasies of that sort out of my head. It always puts me in a depressive mood. I don't really dwell on my past either, there's so much that could happen in the future after all. Hope you'll feel better and have something to do this weekend.
>feel free to chat there's no real theme
Well, I did go to bed shortly after that and I don't think they're awake currently.

In the mean time have a kind of comb jelly, a benthic(meaning it lives on the sea floor) one. They look like little bunny slimes but they're filter feeders.