Thread 82772457

I dream of you every single night
I'm tired
But I understand that I deserve everything that's happened and more
Male btw

>>82772457 (OP)
why did you deserve it anon?

>>82773018
Because I'm an abusive manipulative narcissistic sack of shit

>>82773094
but since you're a bad person, you'll get over it smoothly won't you?

>>82773192
Saved
No... If I had to be honest, which I will be right now... I want her too much. I feel downright incomplete without her, and despite meeting others, it's never the same.
I don't think I can get over that, but I have enough of a head that I know I don't deserve it anyway... So I won't do anything about it. I'll let her keep me blocked. For the rest of my life even.
Clearly it's not even the guilt that is the issue for me. I'm such a fucking selfish person and I've only been realizing it thanks to her blocking me. I hate that about myself

>>82772457 (OP)
I know you have potential. I can sense it. I can also sense you've made a lot of bad decisions. I have too. You need to become spiritually aware. Realise where your thoughts are coming from. Are they given to you by the divine, or are they given to you by the wicked? You can cleanse yourself and walk a righteous path. Trust me, it will feel much better. It will start a new life for you. There are also other fundamental truths that you must realise. A lot of songs, food, films etc.. are designed to control your mind. Eat more fruits and vegetables, if you can grow your own thats even better. You are forced to become a mindless consumer, they will do anything in their power to make it happen. Secondly, understand that you are not the only one who demons can speak to; They can, and will, do anything in their power to get to you. Even if that means working through other people. Abstain from porn, masturbation, lust, swearing, judging, drinking, smoking, self destructive actions, and anything else you feel is given by demons. When you see something, ask yourself - Are demons using this to spread. I hope this is sufficient. Ask me anything and I will tell you. My aim is to help you because I can sense you have potential, but there are things you need to do and their is a path you need to follow. It is not my aim to seem arrogant or act like I know more than you.

>>82773309
well, at least you're self reflecting. most of the selfish people don't do this, right? have you thought about why you were manipulative? that's could be something to think about.

>>82773395
It's like a mix of divine and wicked. Especially when it comes to that it gets to stuff I hate myself over as well. Because I know even outside of my relationship with her, I do not go about living life in a very virtuous way either. In fact one of my biggest issues is horniness, next to a mindset of the world that is innately narcissistic and hateful. (I laugh at sharty memes ffs.) I know innately things that I do are wrong. That must be the divine part, that I know so well that what I do, and don't do, is wrong.
It's correct that the least I can do right now is to atleast do my best to improve on those things. I know it feels better on the other side. If only the path were as simple as it looks.
>Ask me anything
This sense, is it coming from your logic, reasoning, and intuition, or do you genuinely sense something within me? That I've made many horrible decisions?
>>82773459
I have thought about it... I was too afraid and neurotic for one. While I can put some blame into this place for implanting the seeds of harmful assumptions in my head of the other gender, the main problem just comes from myself wanting to control everything. I wanted her to be something that she wasn't, constantly. I stalked her all the time, left her without a place to have any privacy, demanding her time, I don't know. Was it fear of abandonment? Was it really me putting her on a pedestal and getting angry when she didn't live up to it or give me what I wanted? Is it just a mix of all these things, and that's why it's such a confusing mess in my head?
Well anyway. None of that will change how it all ended... Nor that I deserved it in the end

>>82773559
>one of my biggest issues is horniness
I used to masturbate everyday. I don't anymore because I am aware that it is spiritually bad for you.
>This sense, is it coming from your logic, reasoning, and intuition, or do you genuinely sense something within me? That I've made many horrible decisions?
It's coming from my tuition and my thoughts which I can tell come from benevolent spirits. I can sense that you've made a lot of bad decisions but I can also sense you have the potential to lead a great life if you listen to what I have told you, which was told to me.

>>82773559
What was the worse thing you did to her? Sounds like a normal first love relationship to me.

this is why you should date men f

>>82773559
was she your first love in general or in a long time? when you feel unloved for a long time, but someone that changes this appears, it's not uncommon to get obsessed like this. you make unrealistic expectations for the future, and the people don't communicate clearly. you regret all of this, so isn't it likely that you won't repeat this mistake again?

>>82773709
look mommy! it's me! i'm in the schizopicture! wow hehe...

>>82773559
>wanting to control everything. I wanted her to be something that she wasn't, constantly. I stalked her all the time, left her without a place to have any privacy, demanding her time
Like looking into a mirror

>>82773760
You should tell your ex the same things you tell us anonymous email is a useful tool in this case anon.

imagine complaining about anything when you've had a gf

>>82773783
Young men who are pretty twinks seem to enjoy breaking their girlfriends. It is interesting but robots are too pure for such behavior.

>>82772457 (OP)
Yeah because you're a garbage human being and a piece of shit

>>82773722
My first love. I hopefully wouldn't repeat this mistake with anyone ever again, thankfully, that is true. I can't get over how stupid I was. Hopefully, things will be better soon anyway. She's only blocked me pretty recently.
>>82773625
Honestly, at some point I know I was gonna do what I could anyway to get better. I am going to set my mind on it, doing small things to improve until eventually I'm where I want to be in the moral and spiritual side of things.
>>82773760
Kek
>>82773767
What's your story, anon?
>>82773669
Crashing out to the point she's self-harmed over it does come to mind. There's probably worse than that.
>>82773776
Not that anon but I don't know. I should keep things as they are now. It's good for her that she blocked me. I should stay away from her
>>82774361
>xe screenshotted all of this
Kek
But you're right

>>82774718
>>82774361
if you made her think she is the bad person in all of this and she's unable to move on, after some time passes, it might be something to consider if you should send a final closure message, letting her know you don't hate her or anything, so she doesn't live a paranoid life thinking she did wrong or something like that, if you think this is the case. or maybe she'll reach out to you herself eventually. don't know the details so take this with a grain of salt though, but I think it's likely the whole thing traumatized both of you.
>Crashing out to the point she's self-harmed over it does come to mind.
mentally ill people getting together and having abusive relationships... you've fucked up badly, but you're trying to get better. even if you can't undo what you've done, at least this experience will make you less susceptible to hurting others again. well wishes to you and her.

>>82775049
I didn't make her think anything.

You're just a piece of shit and she recognized it.

It just shows that she's right when you're trying to make her feel like she's the bad person all of this

Then you admitting that you are the bad person only verifies why she wants to stay as far from you as possible and justifies blocking you

>>82775049
...
On second thought I think you're right. On some level I figured that she'd see this thread at some point, thus the email wouldn't be necessary. She's done that plenty of times and has admitted to keeping track of what I may be posting because she's worried. But if there's one thing that I don't want, is for her to keep on living thinking that she was in the wrong for everything. I can't risk that even if chances of her seeing all of this are likely. I'll try to send an email to her somehow, soon. I still have it, I think.

>>82775148
The only reason you made the threat is manipulate her in some way having her read it and think like you were admitting something in some sense. You don't mean anything you say The best thing she can do is just avoid you in every way.

Same fagging and talking to yourself throughout this entire thing. Everything about you is just a lie and a front to manipulate others.

>>82775119
that was directed at the op, it's already established that his gf isn't bad and didn't do anything wrong, and it was him that fucked up. think you confused me with the op, and it doesn't seem like he's trying to guilt trip her, as he's already admitted here all of the bad things that he is responsible for doing.
>>82775148
yeah, it's just to let her know it wasn't her fault in case she thinks it was. hopefully she saw this thread already, guessing through Mike that she knows already tho.

Also she should add your email to spam in addition to your blocked phone number/text.

>>82775273
Whatever you say same fag

>>82775273
The only way to defend OP and try to manipulate her into changing her mind is to create some third party that will forgive and see the "good" in yourself in some way.

Honestly it's detestable emotionally manipulative behavior, exactly the same thing you've been doing this entire time and justifies why you deserve to rot

why is mike the retarded schizo lashing out in this thread

this isn't my business, and I've said what I needed to already. if she knows already, then the next thing to do is to not try to talk to her again, and both of you go your separate ways.
>>82775301
shouldn't have sent images of the same character, huh? sorry, op.
>>82775319
I understand you're worried about her, but I'm not trying to do that. I'm just trying to help op get some closure. he's not going to talk to her again.
well wishes to you all.

>>82775330
He's obsessed o algo

>>82775273
>yeah, it's just to let her know it wasn't her fault in case she thinks it was. hopefully she saw this thread already, guessing through Mike that she knows already tho.
Whoever Mike is they aren't even anybody that's involved in this, so it's even funnier that he's lashing out itt. Still, thank you. You really helped me out with everything here. I deeply appreciate it.

>>82775398
I'm happy to have helped, lol. hope life treats you well. don't go hurting people again, alright? you got this.

>>82774718
>What's your story, anon?
I'm doing it right now actually. In my defense she did say she was like that, I'm just demanding how she said she would be. Part of me thinks she has just been lying to me and makes me want to hurt her back. We'll see

Weirdest thread for Mike to go schizo on