Thread 82949590

The Eternal BPD GENERAL thread

Updates:
Please contribute to the thread OP with your answers: (I will put them all together in a summary)

>What do you think BPD is?

>What are your experiences with BPD?

>Do you have any advice, for those with the diagnosis, or those dealing with someone with the diagnosis?

>Do you have any advice for people who think they may have BPD?

And anything else you think is relevant!
Lets make this a very longstanding board General.

Thank you. :3

>>82949590 (OP)
>What do you think BPD is?
Unresolved childhood trauma manifest

>What are your experiences with BPD?
Living next to a BPD woman and witnessing her act fucking insane with her boyfriend to the point of physically restraining him, hitting him, scratching him (I had a peephole and they'd wake me up at 4am screaming in the hallway)
Dated a BPD woman online and eventually she started to treat me like shit. I would say something innocuous and then she would blame me for making her feel bad, and continue to bring it up for weeks until she found another thing to get upset at me over for the next few weeks. It was exhausting, but I really liked her. Scary to think I was complicit with her treatment of me just because talking to her felt like a drug.

>Do you have any advice, for those with the diagnosis, or those dealing with someone with the diagnosis?
For those with BPD partners - you can't fix them. Not unless they're actively trying to get better and putting in real effort towards that. Not unless they can recognize how poorly they treat other people and seek to change.
They're broken people deep down inside. Not bad, not evil, but deeply hurt. They hate themselves the most. If you love them, they'll hate you too.

>Do you have any advice for people who think they may have BPD?
Reflect on your actions and past. Seek Dialectical Behavior Therapy from a professional. You know you can't continue living like this.

>>82949590 (OP)
Hello. How do I avoid ever having to deal with another BPDemon again in my entire life? Is genocide the only real answer?

>>82950105
They're an inevitability because of how common childhood trauma and abuse is, on top of the "zero accountability" attitude they have adopted
Your only hope is to recognize the early warning signs and RUN

>>82950133
>the early warning signs
I have some ideas from the ones I've dealt with, but what's the official list?

>>82950189
Here's a fun little infographic

>>82950207
>the warning signs are: being female
Holy shit it's so over.

Why did the only woman who has ever been interested in me have to be afflicted with Beautiful Princess Disorder?
She's not done anything abusive to me (yet) and it mostly just manifests as being sad and insecure all the time which I just chalked up to her being a woman until she mentioned she had it but since her last suicide attempt I get incredibly stressed out when I don't hear from her for a while.

stupid bitch general

>>82950263
>I get stressed because the woman I care about tries to commit suicide
I would consider that a form of emotional abuse

>>82950207
>>82950262
unironically a good bit of the medical terminology related to being "crazy" is based off the word hysteric, which pertains to having a uterus

Being a BPD man blows
>>82950207
this describes me almost down to the bone and it took me dating a girl with BPD who behaves similarly to me to realize it

>>82950316
Are you doing anything to move beyond this sort of behavior? It's not like BPD is "uncurable" it's just that those who get better begin to take accountability for their actions and how they effect other people

>>82950283
It's not a regular thing, thankfully. I'm just paranoid that she'll do it again because it came out of fucking nowhere so now I immediately assume the worst if I don't hear from her for more than 12 hours. But I also thought my friend died when I didn't hear from him for a few weeks so I'm not sure how much of this is my own neuroticism.

>>82951076
Time to learn about Quiet BPD my friend
I think that's more common in males, just taking all the hate out on yourself rather than others

Dated a BPD woman once, thought I could save her. Yeah, that worked out as expected. Never again

>>82951868
That's the number 1 rule: you cannot save them
I want to save them though, that's the most insidious part
But you cannot save someone who doesn't even think they have a problem

>>82949590 (OP)
>What do you think BPD is?
best person disorder
>What are your experiences with BPD?
BPD queens all have heart, malding moids are soulless
>Do you have any advice, for those with the diagnosis, or those dealing with someone with the diagnosis?
if someone tries to put you down, it's because they are a useless loser who knows they don't deserve you
>Do you have any advice for people who think they may have BPD?
do get better taste in music though

>>82949590 (OP)
What would an army general with BPD be like?

>>82952177
What would an army of BPDERS look like?

>>82949590 (OP)
>What do you think BPD is?
Trauma reaction, calling it cPTSD is probably not overly wrong
>What are your experiences with BPD?
Mostly good but I don't have it and I avoid the totally out of control ones. A lot of my friends over the years were BPD and my first crush was too.
>Do you have any advice, for those with the diagnosis, or those dealing with someone with the diagnosis?
Get into therapy and stop acting like your behavior isn't your fault. You have agency, use it. If you're dealing with someone with BPD be patient and learn what triggers them, but if they refuse to help themselves cut them out of your life.
>Do you have any advice for people who think they may have BPD?
Get into therapy and stop acting like, well just read the above

>>82952260
Dumbass dnr after thr first sentence. 'Trauma response' some people are raised in good families with good environments and come out crazy. CPTSD is a totally different thing are you actually slow? Why do you try to sound smart but just shitting out words like that?

>>82952294
There's a pretty significant body of work suggesting that a large chunk of BPD cases are actually cPTSD and the symptom overlap is considerable. I said "probably" and "not overly wrong" because I wasn't trying to make a definitive statement however.

>>82952294
They have overlap

>>82952324
>>82952260
>>82952331
Isn't C-PTSD still not a fully accepted diagnosis everywhere though?

>>82952345
Yes but that's meaningless. All diagnoses are made up labels describing a set of symptoms which correlate to multiple underlying problems (e.g., depression does not exist as a singular "disease" but we refer to it as such). Whether a label is accepted or not is more about politics than anything else. CPTSD isn't used in the US, but it is used in Europe. I don't think that an American psychologist would reject the CPTSD label, but it would never be used for billing or diagnostic purposes in the US.

>>82952375
Yeah I understand that clinical diagnoses are a tricky thing, psychiatry is a lot about patient observation and differential diagnosis to eliminate possibilities until the best possible treatment is found.

>>82952391
A lot of doctors are moving away from diagnoses because they don't really matter that much. They just diagnose you as whatever you need to be for the treatment for billing purposes but the focus is on improving the symptoms. It doesn't really matter if you have CPTSD or BPD, you'll end up with largely the same treatment because the symptoms are largely the same. BPD is significantly more treatable than the other personality disorders though which would suggest that most cases of it aren't actually a PD (which largely aren't mental disorders in the traditional sense) but rather some other kind of thing, like a trauma reaction.

>>82952441
Doesn't BPD have kind of a chicken and egg thing with trauma in that it makes you more trauma-prone and the trauma also exacerbates the symptoms? I've seen it described as "having no emotional skin" so you get severely hurt very easily.

>>82952463
Sure, they might be genetically predisposed to trauma. Same as how some people go fight in war and see untold horrors and come back fine and some people get into a fender bender and develop PTSD from it. All trauma is relative to the person who experienced it. I'm also not saying that all BPD cases are caused by trauma, but a significant number of people who experience things like childhood sexual abuse end up getting diagnosed as BPD and it seems reasonable to me to suspect that CPTSD is a more accurate description of what's happening to those cases in particular.

>>82952441
yea, the diagnoses were never legitimate to begin with. psychiatric diagnoses as described in the dsm exist moreso for insurance purposes. in the psychiatric field there are other names and categories of abnormal mental phenomena that never make it in the dsm because they aren't useful for billing purposes

>>82949590 (OP)
Coming from a diagnosed BPDemon:
>What do you think BPD is?
A disorder as a result of childhood trauma that usually ties with abandonment or some form of neglect, usually abuse

>What are your experiences with BPD?
Nearly killed me. It was hellish to know that was something deeply wrong but I didn't know what it was or how to fix it.

>Do you have any advice, for those with the diagnosis, or those dealing with someone with the diagnosis?
I want them to know that their life isnt over just because they have it. They can get through this, and so can the people around them.

>Do you have any advice for people who think they may have BPD?
Go to a psychiatrist if you can. Getting diagnosed helped me get the treatment I needed so i can function

>>82949590 (OP)
i have avpd, i think bpd bitches are just me without that externalize all their emotions instead of internalizing all your negative emotions like me

>>82952679
see
>>82951291

You may just have the quiet form of BPD

Tell me more about mixing and mastering BPD quiet/loud dynamics. Is there side-chained BPD? Compressed BPD?

>>82952648
They're legitimate in that they communicate clusters of symptoms. They're useful for that as well as the billing. There's no way to really make it more accurate at this point and it's somewhat likely that all mental issues are unique to the sufferer so we're never going to have better labels than "depression". It's not like they can say "well, neurons 1515-1627 are defective at BZD alpha 1 and gamma 1 so this person has anxiety disorder 12 beta subtype c", they just say they have GAD and move on. The labels are all made up though, whether they're in the dsm or not.

>>82952693
i guess the difference is very slight. Avpd is about fear of rejection while quiet BPD is only towards relationships and fear of abandonment. In the end it is very similar but avpd is worse in the sense that it englobes a wider range of people

>>82952741
I think avpd is more of a PTSD subtype than its own personality disorder as well. At least for me I personally have a very extroverted personality but my flee or fight system just triggers absurd anxiety into me whenever my rejection fear is triggered. Avpd isnt part of my personality, it's brain chemistry trying to torture me due to trauma I got from a baby I guess?

>>82949590 (OP)
You feel shitty then you lash out on yourself and others because you feel shitty. That's literally it. You can try and make it as complex as you want, It doesn't matter why you feel shitty or how you lash out.
Having BPD doesn't excuse you for being shitty. It's just an explanation. You are not entitled more than anyone else to people's patience or compassion.

If you hate how you act and the reaction you get with that behavior then change. If you stay the same, you don't really care that much which is fine but expect a lonely life because others aren't going to stick around when you treat them like shit.

BPD does not make you special. I would say that it's the result of arrest development from never maturing past a toddler throwing tantrums. Basically a mark of immaturity.

>>82949674
>if you love them, they'll hate you too
i look back at my ex and i wish i knew this. she deserved so much but her scars would never heal and in her head i was the one who hurt her. bpd is sick because it puts them in a place where anyone close to them is conflated with their past abuser/trauma and you cannot rationally or irrationally dissuade this fucked up psychological issue. peace from heaven to bpdemons, may they be healed in death if not in life

There is one cure for BPD, and it must come from within
It's called taking accountability for your actions
Otherwise you're just making up excuses for why you treat people like shit and try to justify it somehow

>>82953082
>It's called taking accountability for your actions
this is impossible nowadays since women have almost infinite value just for being women. they don't have incentives to improve like men do because if men act like crazy bitches they get killed put in jail or become incels. Men NEED to constantly self improve in life

>>82953182
It's no wonder our society is pumping out BPD women like it's going out of style
We literally praise them for being this way

>>82953204
>3% of the population
>pumping them out like it's going out of style

>>82953219
Surely it has to be higher than that
At least it sure as fuck is online

if i had to choose between eating shit and going near somebody with bpd then i'd rather eat shit because atleast the pile of shit would understand how it hurts me

>>82953228
>go to places that attract bpdemons
>be surprised they're full of bpdemons
Shocking
>>82953229
BPDs are fun doe

>>82953247
yeah for men its fun, if your a woman its like dealing with an overgrown baby and I would much rather eat shit and rusty nails than ever go near a self proclaimed bpdemon again, genuinely an evil subset of people

its worse than npd dare i say because socially everybody loves it and makes nothing but excuses for the disorder

>>82953290
All the BPDs I've known have been women. They're fun, never got hurt by any of them.

>>82953247
Lel some people really fail to understand that. I'm autistic and I've never met a single person IRL who told me they're also autistic. I go online and visit spaces full of other retards like me, and whoa, suddenly lots of other autists and some people are talking about how "everyone has autism these days". Yet somehow I never bump into them when I go outside. Curious.

>>82953301
i met a male bpdemon, fucking worst person ive ever met, i dont think i could be paid to go near them again, genuinely just subhuman people, i dont even care how traumatised they are half the time they arent even that traumatised, they rely on it as an excuse for victimhood, even female borderlines get on my nerves FUCK BPDEMONS FUCK BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER FUCK YOU!!!! IF U HAVE BPD BURN IN HELL!!!! YOU DESERVE ABANDONMENT FUCKER

>>82953335
Sounding a little bpd yourself there
>>82953305
Normies all communicate in real life so the internet is just full of crazies and autists

>>82953335
your emotions sound a bit dysregulated buddy... almost kinda... on the ~borderline~

>>82953352
yes my emotions are dysregulated yours would be too if you had to put up with a manchild delegating all of his emotional labour onto you because hes too fucking retarded to think "OH MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE SOME PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF BLAMING EVERYBODY AROUNDME AND LASHING OUT LIKE A CHILD" IT DRIVES ME CRAZY ANON U DONT GET IT IM SICK OF IT IM HUMAN TOO

>>82953396
That's not a BPD problem though, that's his own personal inability to control his actions. Plenty of BPD people exercise their agency and do their best to treat the people around them well and plenty of non-BPD people do the opposite. If someone is acting like that, just stop interacting with them. I don't think you should throw every borderline under the bus because of the actions of a few bad apples though.

>>82953396
But I was in a relationship with a BPD foid who was also pretty hard to deal with and I'm not freaking out that hard.

bpdemon survivor here. she still stalks me and threatens to fuck up my life in the same breath she says she's sorry and wants only the best for me.

Total BPDemon Death

>>82949590 (OP)
Anyone with BPD needs to kill themselves. Or get institutionalized forever, padded cell and chemical lobotomy. You are a massive fucking burden to everyone close to you are all incredibly annoying and childish. You have less emotional regulation skills than a toddler and it's draining to be around. You will never get your shit together, you need to kill yourselves.

I for one do not wish death on the BPD population and I have faith that they can get better if they really try and desire it
But that requires a bit of self awareness on their part

>>82949674
>Not unless they're actively trying to get better and putting in real effort towards that.
They never will. They will never see themselves as the problem they are. They all hide behind the diagnosis as an excuse to get away with acting as selfishly as they do, "it's not my fault I treat people like shit, look, I have Treat People Like Shit Disorder! I can't help it"

>>82950316
>BPD man
What an oxymoron lmao grow the fuck up

>>82952441
>BPD is significantly more treatable than the other personality disorders though
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>82952741
There's no "worse" when it comes to mental illnesses themselves, it's really all about severity

>>82953594
Literally prove him wrong thougheverbeit. Who do you even "treat" ASPD with anything other jail?

>>82953594
It has the highest remission rate of any personality disorder so yes it is the most treatable PD.
>>82953617
I think ASPD is still something like 50% remission in the long term but that's probably skewed by the kind of ASPDs that end up in studies vs the ones that end up ODing under a bridge.

>>82953617
Oh. You were serious. Let me laugh even harder, then. HAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAAHAA

>>82949590 (OP)
>be autist
>inherited it from my dad
>realize my mom is probably bpd
>start dating in high school
>normal women are never interested
>only end up being with bpd women
>if i ever end up marrying, it will probably be to a bpd woman
What is it about autistic men and bpd women seemingly being the only ones willing to stay with each other long term? I know my case is anecdotal, but I've seen it play out in a lot of other cases too

>>82953707
Autists tend to be pushovers and easily gaslit
The BPD woman loves this about him, because she can explain away any of her behaviors and shift blame onto the autist by pretending the problem is HIM.
And the autist will genuinely believe HE is the problem and HE is the one with mental issues and HE is the one who needs mental help, when it's all just a big load of projection from the BPD partner

Is what they say about BPD sex true?
Please explain the lurid details.

>>82953839
It is. One BPD girl I was with in high school was extremely hypersexual, constantly sexting me and wanting to be fingered. Another, who was only a family friend at the time, desperately wanted to take my virginity and waited until I was 18 to do it. The sex itself is great, very eager and desperate to please. The problem comes with the fact that after the manic hypersexuality reaches its peak, you get left with endless passive-aggressive bullshit that honestly makes the sex not worth it.

>>82949590 (OP)
How do you get a bdp gf as an autistic guy? Do you have to be very nice to them or how do bdp people decide who is their fp?

>>82954630
Just have to get lucky. Make conversation until one latches on to you.

>>82954643
But that is just with every single woman like that. I thought you could do something that makes bpd women fall faster. So it is all just luck. I talked with one once and she instantly went sexual talking how hot I am -mind you I am a autistic khhv- I just told her she is cute and what she is doing here. Does it even matter what you say?

>>82954669
>Does it even matter what you say?
Just be nice to them and don't get freaked out when they're weird. They're sensitive to judgement and rejection.

>>82954692
Okay I try that, I don't mind if they are weird I think that is cute honestly. I preffer that much more than normal women who are all very judmental. Also I like that they often have some sort of bad experiences in the past just like me, as bad as it sounds I think that makes bonding easier.

>>82954712
BPD girls are going to alternate between very loving and very judgemental. It's extremely volatile and stressful if you're not able to handle rapid changes. You'll end up spending a lot of time trying to convince them not to hurt themselves or talking them out of suicide and into therapy. It's a lot easier dating normal women.

>>82954731
Not sure I don't have any luck with normal women because of my autism giving them the ick.

>>82954741
BPD girls will get the ick because you cheated on them in a dream and then try to kill themselves to punish you. Why not just look for autistic girls instead?

>>82954768
Autistic girls are super rare like shiny pokemon and would often rather date someone who is not autistic. I would like to but I can't just manifest on out of thin air. Bpd girls are often also more shutin and thus more nerdy so it is fine that way as well. Just want to have a nice girl really who likes me.

quiet bpd is what happens when you have some semblance of self awareness

>>82954801
>Just want to have a nice girl really who likes me.
Anon, BPD girls are the complete opposite of nice
I guess you'll find out first-hand eventually...

>>82953839
Yes, only in the sense that "don't stick your dick in crazy" is lifesaving advice.

>>82953707
BPD women almost always are either ADHD or autistic and neurodivergents attract each other.

>>82954768
>then try to kill themselves
Wish more of them succeeded.

>>82955004
I don't think all are like that, there must be also nice ones like with all type of humans.

>>82955065
Oh anon you sweet naive child

>>82953417
>Plenty of BPD people exercise their agency and do their best to treat the people around them well
Really? I thought with this disorder this wasn't possible
I kind of want to hear first hand from a BPD person how it is like living with the PD. The impression I have is that they are explosive anxious retards and super manipulative

>>82955078
Basically the impression I have of the disorder is of someone that is basically, mentally a child that constantly throws tantrums.

>>82954630
Not worth it Anon, heed the warnings of those who have made this mistake. Avoid at all costs, do not engage, do not even talk to one, they are nuclear meltdowns personified. BPDemons are radioactively unstable and will never, ever truly love anyone but themselves (even and especially while hating themselves). They ruin the lives of everyone near them.

>>82955078
It is possible but sometimes things get too intense for them and they malfunction. They'll have more outbursts than a normal person though. The ones that are out of control 24/7 are fully capable of reigning themselves in but they refuse to do it.

>>82955078
>explosive anxious retards and super manipulative
Correct, you already have the right understanding, and you really shouldn't seek the perspective of the type of psychobitch that lies to her therapist/psychiatrist like it's a lifestyle
>mentally a child that constantly throws tantrums.
Also correct.

>wahhh I am anxious about losing you therefore you have to do every little thing exactly as I demand or I will have a meltie
Why are anxioids like this?

>>82955108
>>82955120
I am the Avpd anon so I kind of understand what they are going through, but I fail to relate really badly as to why they lack emotional control, I have all these thoughts as well but don't act upon them. I had mild psychosis recently and was still more calm and sane than the average BPD chick

>>82955178
I have that as well but I just don't ever let my partner know, I just bottle them down I guess and let them silently tear me apart.

>>82955202
>I fail to relate really badly as to why they lack emotional control
Just imagine all your emotions were amplified by 10x. Instead of being anxious that someone might leave you, you're completely convinced that they hate you and are doing things to harm to you. Not only that, but your entire identity revolves around that person and when they leave you're going to be nothing but an empty lifeless husk. Now you're angry that they're killing you instead of just anxious that they might leave so you lash out and tell them to kill themselves, they yell at you that you're a crazed bitch, and everything snowballs from there until you're slitting your wrists in the bathtub to avoid the pain of the betrayal that you know is coming.
>the average BPD chick
The average BPD chick is pretty normal most of the time so you have no idea that they're even BPD. You're only seeing the worst examples of it. Like thinking that schizophrenics are always raving lunatics when really most of the time they're just a little odd.

>>82955202
>I had mild psychosis recently and was still more calm and sane than the average BPD chick
Real. A good friend of mine has schizophrenia and he's chill as fuck, always a great hang, smarter than pretty much everyone I know too. Meanwhile, the BPDemon I used to be friends with was constantly having meltdowns and/or crying over nothing, and dumber than a box of rocks. She also held nonsensical grudges that she'd bring up to mad at me for all the fucking time out of nowhere that she has been holding onto since we were in middleschool, when we were both in our late twenties, really really immature. I was always on eggshells and it was never enough to avoid a random tantrum, I really put up with her shit for longer than I should have, it was fucking stressful.

Here's a VERY interesting definition of BPD, along with narcissism. It really made me look at the entire thing in an entirely different way, as in for example the definition: before it was just information, just "things that a bpd person does", now I can understand what it "is"

https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/01/borderline.html

>>82955461
BPDs left alone just become empty and listless, not narcissists

>>82955461
Why didn't my BPD gf do any of that shit? She didn't get into the same music as me, didn't read the same books, didn't like the same movies and anime etc.

>>82955598
Maybe because the point wasn't literally "and she will like whatever you do", that was just an easy example of a change in identity

>>82955626
Lame, I'd love a woman who's basically my XX clone.

>>82949590 (OP)
I'm a man and I got diagnosed with bpd couple years ago.
I think it's just a trend diagnosis especially at the clinic I was.
I have bad ocd not sure about bpd. I'm usually very calm and controlled, I just get angry and volatile sometimes which I almost never show and I have difficulties with relationships because I get intense internal conflicts about people if I get too close to them. Like love/hatred avoidance etc.
And if I get too close to someone I get these bad urges which I have to control.
That's the reason I've been avoiding relationships for the last 6 years or more.
Also I feel like in alot of relationships that I'm not really valued and that I'm a just a disposable cuck, which might have more to do with how things actually are than with the alleged bpd.
People just come cry to me if they feel bad, for nothing else, which makes sense.

But people should be really careful about throwing diagnosis like these around because it can easily pathologize a marginalized group which behaviors arises from their social standpoint rather than a sickness from the brain.
It becomes a medical rather than a social problem then.

I dated a girl that had "bpd" in the past and she was 100 times more bpd than me but it's hard to put a name on something as complex as human behavior.
If you have bpd you have to learn to control yourself. It's hard but possible to some degree I think.
But if you are a girl, there are no consequences for your actions so there won't even be an strong enough incentive to change your behavior.

Thank you for a fruitful general.

>>82956026
You're welcome, it was all my doing you can pay me back later.

>>82954731
If they are judging you I think you've already lost your BPDemon's affections. (((They))) are idealists and are extremely forgiving, and then they cut you off like a stranger. I'm saying this as someone who was diagnosed during a turbulent interpersonal relationship while suicidal so I don't know if it's actually representative of everyone with interpersonal traumas or is just a side effect of being under the Cluster B bracket, which is also Antisocial, Narcissistic and Histrionic. They are grouped together due to empathy "issues", or "asshole disorders" or "being an asshole" which is to say maybe the people who run Walmart are pretty Antisocial. I'm wondering, autistics from time to time fall under this, too, ask a genuinely autistic person about their empathy and you might get some answers about what a neurodivergence is.

>>82956033
I'll pay you a dollar USD a day if you want to work for me like a Chinese rice farmer on a full time basis. You can have one day off a month and 8 hours off per 24 hour period for rest.