>>9025924
>be me
>zombie apocalypse
>repressed pent-up rage combined with survival instincts made me a zombie killing machine
>slaughtered everything in a mile radius John Wick style
>leave the house for my morning scavenge
>headbutt the now zombified music-blasting neighbor right out of my doorstep
>*shotgun reload sound*
>add this to the playlist, asshole *BA-KOOM*
>take the stairs
>go raid the supermarket
>force the sliding door open
>I killed all the zombies there already
>looks like I missed one
>girl zombie is eating a cashier
>she gets up on her wobbly long legs
>thigh-highs
>OH NO. MY WEAKNESS
>she runs at me
>my shotgun is loaded, but my dick is too
>she tackles me
>AGH FUCK
>she tries biting me
>try to wrestle her maw off me while she drools on my face
>PLEASE, I CANNOT HURT A HOT CHICK
>cannot grab her by the hair because I don't want to hurt her
>JESUS CHRIST, SHE'S DEAD ALREADY, WHAT AM I THINKING
>hold her still for a second
>But dead girls can't say, no, right?
>she stares at me with her beady eyes making a low growl
>So will you go out with m-*CHOMP* AAAAAAA
>I die
>the end