>>33292757
Main thing is: do you wanna change or not? I mean, you already know all your issues, so I guess you already know what to fix/work on. I think getting out of the internet and getting a job, literally anywhere, is already a good start. I think internet/being alone, when you're on extremes, in some cases, kinda lead us to feel like the world is something different than what it really is.
Like, I'll give you an example: the height thing. Over and over I see some anons crying over being short and so on... one thing I observe is that 95% are terminally online, which means they're being a victim of a social media algorithm that tells height is everything. Know what I mean? It's easy to get into a loop on internet, hence why isolation tends to be very harmful in today's world.
Get out for a bit, start working/saving money... perhaps you can try travelling somewhere to see some nature or some shit. The world is out there, not inside your pc. Give it a shot, Anon. I mean, you're on the verge of ending it all, so why not? You can either look at things as a "whole", facing everything that comes, or face one by one, which is easier and the smartest thing to do. Just become less of a weirdo.