>>33302921
I think the answer you're looking for is, yes, OP can choose to be a neurotic, mentally ill mess if he wants to but that pretty much limit his options are other neurotic, mentally ill messes. He's going to be getting rejected a lot if he refuses to make any changes at all to achieve the goal of an exciting, productive relationship. If his goal is another dysfunctional loner then yes, no effort or change required.