Anonymous
7/24/2025, 7:48:41 PM
No.33409522
>>33404927
My parents discovered my older brother had autism right when I was born so they monitored and got me tested me too. I was thrown into ABA as soon as my parents could do so. Every day after school would be this day in day out routine of doing these stupid tests that I had no idea for why I was doing. Autism was just some weird disease that everyone told me I had. Ironically, all of this treatment just made me more frustrated and made me feel deeply alienated from my peers. I couldn't make connections because other people had a life and I didn't, because I was considered born wrong and needed treatment. It leveled off in my teens but the damage was already done. I never actually had the chance to develop independence and I was scared to do anything. I learned how autism affected me and I was masking the absolute hell out of myself to try to blend in with peers, but I couldn't get close to anyone because I was raised to be deeply ashamed of natural aspects of myself. I couldn't relate to anyone because while everyone else was developing independence normally I basically grew up institutionalized and was punished for lashing out. The internet and my imagination was my only escape to all of this. I was smart enough to go to college but I was only further burnt out from the intensifying masking. I dropped out during COVID, and I've lived as a NEET off of disability while going to therapy since then. I feel like the worst aspects of autism wasn't the symptoms themselves, but how people treated me because of it.
My parents discovered my older brother had autism right when I was born so they monitored and got me tested me too. I was thrown into ABA as soon as my parents could do so. Every day after school would be this day in day out routine of doing these stupid tests that I had no idea for why I was doing. Autism was just some weird disease that everyone told me I had. Ironically, all of this treatment just made me more frustrated and made me feel deeply alienated from my peers. I couldn't make connections because other people had a life and I didn't, because I was considered born wrong and needed treatment. It leveled off in my teens but the damage was already done. I never actually had the chance to develop independence and I was scared to do anything. I learned how autism affected me and I was masking the absolute hell out of myself to try to blend in with peers, but I couldn't get close to anyone because I was raised to be deeply ashamed of natural aspects of myself. I couldn't relate to anyone because while everyone else was developing independence normally I basically grew up institutionalized and was punished for lashing out. The internet and my imagination was my only escape to all of this. I was smart enough to go to college but I was only further burnt out from the intensifying masking. I dropped out during COVID, and I've lived as a NEET off of disability while going to therapy since then. I feel like the worst aspects of autism wasn't the symptoms themselves, but how people treated me because of it.