Been thinking about it.
Many times. Been going through it over and over and over.
I don't know whether I should feel like shit or not.
On one side I did it badly. I should have been more calm, sure. But it genuinely pissed me off.
I do a little bit extra everyday.
I got pretty much a confirmation the other day that that's barely acknowledged at all.
On that basis, it seems like people have an impression of me. But I don't know shit, because I only get praise directly. So I have to autoevaluate myself here.
I'm guessing my demeanor made me look like a yes man, so now things are done without question or notice. And a chain of events regarding that made me act emotional about this shit. I lost myself. It wasn't a pretty sight, luckily there were fewer people. But now I'm a fucking clown that can't take it apparently. So I'm feeling guilty the whole weekend, because suddenly something gets postponed. Because I was just fed up with it. And to top it off now I'm kept away from that little effort I made as well. Yeah just toss me aside and make me feel even guiltier, why don't you. That will do wonders for me.