>be me
>28 years old
>never had a girlfriend
>had sex with hookers over the years
>told myself things were fine this way
>start new job
>a few months in
>be introduced to the most wonderful woman
>I think she’s so beautiful but beyond that she’s so friendly and warm but not in a fake way at all, so much that it’s almost overwhelming
>I can’t stop thinking about her
>she’s so popular and well liked in the company and I’m just this awkward standoffish autist that’s kinda there and doesn’t talk to many people
>she probably doesn’t even remember my name
>this woman has crashed my entire world and I lie in bed crying for hours, I don’t want to be alone and detached and hiding behind irony and shitposting and acting smug and cold and indifferent towards anyone
>for the first time in my life I feel so lonely and I’m aware of how lonely I am
>I’ve accepted that I can’t have this woman from my work but now I’m desperate for love like I’ve never been before
>I feel like something’s eating away at my chest and heart
>its 2AM and I can’t sleep
>Im supposed to go running tomorrow, I just want to run and get the endorphins so I can forget the pain
>but I don’t want to forget the pain I don’t want to numb myself with online shitposting and video games and mindless doomscrolling
>im so isolated and a bit unusual and I struggle so much in groups I don’t know how to meet people let alone a girlfriend
>I don’t know what to do

How do I even start finding a real relationship at my age?