Just graduated college in May and I've been working since June. Had a couple of friends/roommates in college, was involved in clubs, and dated a little bit (mostly rejected or mistreated), but was alone most of the time and rarely ever felt fully "in a group" or included. Spent most weekends alone and felt gross and unliked and ugly. Now that I'm graduated, I've started a new job, finally have a boyfriend, and I'm moving out of my toxic household like I've always wanted but I still feel off. I like my coworkers but I still feel like something's not quite right with my job and like I'm running out of time to change it. I like my boyfriend a lot and I feel great when I'm with him but when I'm away I feel anxious all the time that he's going to leave me. I also have two friends I hang out with monthly but I still feel kinda awful/alone. My boyfriend left for the weekend to go to a party with his huge college friend group and I felt depressed about it, even though he cancelled another trip he had planned this next weekend for me. Went to a bar with my one friend and got drunk. There were only old people there and middle aged men kept trying to flirt with me and I felt kinda terrible the whole time.