My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now and i couldn't be more grateful.
I'm not gonna go too much into details about our relationship, we are long distance and its going good except for this, she is very much against porn and what not and she considers it cheating.
I have a few incidents where I've jerked off to porn, l've had one not long ago. I hate myself for it. I've up until this point avoided it just generally, after this one now I've set up porn blocking filters and made it as hard as possible to access any form of pornography.
I really love her. I want to have a future with her. I don't want to see porn ever again because of what it did to me.
I don't want to confess to her because I know she will leave me.
I don't know if she will ever forgive me for this when she finds out, wether it be now or on the day of judgement.
Pornography websites need to be outright banned and actually policed for age verification, it ruined me.
We are long distance, plus after having sex for the first time l've had an even harder time with sexual frustration.
Is it ok for me wanting to stay with her and fix this issue I have? We've been together for around a year. I don't know even if I deserve her. This is my first relationship.