Anonymous
6/12/2025, 7:01:52 PM
No.935680018
>>935679994
>go back to cousin still on bottom bunk
>quietly ask him if we can go back to "playing"
>he glances at door and just shook his head no, obviously too damn scared now
>I get down on my knees beside the bed and in whispers literally beg him to keep playing, saying I'll do anything
>his eyes get wide, but still shakes his head no
>get up, body shaking, and go downstairs into storage closet and curl up in a ball in the dark
>stay there at least an hour, shaking in (what I realize now as an adult was) adrenaline rush aftermath, as well as insane frustration and thwarted desire
>swearing to myself to never beg anyone for anything ever again
>hear air conditioner start up, then hear uncle and cousin leave
>go back to my room and just sit there hating my dad
>later that year family feud starts over grandfather's estate when he dies; never see cousin again, ever, because uncle's family was on other side of feud
>wonder the rest of my life what might have happened and why the hell my dad thought something was happening anyway
>realize later as an adult that I'd been so touch deprived all my childhood that I probably really would have done anything my cousin wanted just to be touched
I always wonder what might have happened if we'd not been interrupted. Maybe he'd have taught me to blow him. We cousins did spend a week or two during summers with each other's family before the split-up, so maybe he'd have had me over at his house to teach me more, maybe he'd have fucked me. Maybe he had some high school buddies and we'd have biked over to one of their houses and they'd have used me as a fucktoy all day. So when I see shota porn I almost always see myself as the boy in it.
>go back to cousin still on bottom bunk
>quietly ask him if we can go back to "playing"
>he glances at door and just shook his head no, obviously too damn scared now
>I get down on my knees beside the bed and in whispers literally beg him to keep playing, saying I'll do anything
>his eyes get wide, but still shakes his head no
>get up, body shaking, and go downstairs into storage closet and curl up in a ball in the dark
>stay there at least an hour, shaking in (what I realize now as an adult was) adrenaline rush aftermath, as well as insane frustration and thwarted desire
>swearing to myself to never beg anyone for anything ever again
>hear air conditioner start up, then hear uncle and cousin leave
>go back to my room and just sit there hating my dad
>later that year family feud starts over grandfather's estate when he dies; never see cousin again, ever, because uncle's family was on other side of feud
>wonder the rest of my life what might have happened and why the hell my dad thought something was happening anyway
>realize later as an adult that I'd been so touch deprived all my childhood that I probably really would have done anything my cousin wanted just to be touched
I always wonder what might have happened if we'd not been interrupted. Maybe he'd have taught me to blow him. We cousins did spend a week or two during summers with each other's family before the split-up, so maybe he'd have had me over at his house to teach me more, maybe he'd have fucked me. Maybe he had some high school buddies and we'd have biked over to one of their houses and they'd have used me as a fucktoy all day. So when I see shota porn I almost always see myself as the boy in it.