I'll start off by saying I'm in my early twenties, make between 10-25k per month, tall, strong, etc. Perfectionist standards are deeply engrained in my character and have been a serious roadblock in the past, just never to this degree. Also diagnosed with mild-moderate OCD which I believe plays a part.

Gf is a stunning 18 yr old soon-to-be import from the Mediterranean, we even have the same passion in business and the exact same values in all ways. But I learned yesterday that she had jerked off her ex a few times. Apparently that's as far as it went but it sickens me. I have a past but once I hear something like that I have a permanent image in my head of her doing that, it feels like it's flashbanging the screen in my head nearly all the time. I don't know if id be quite that affected by it if it weren't for the fucking HD visual every time I look at her. I feel like I need one perfect thing in life, a truly untouched woman, and this otherwise perfect girl just isn't that. In every other way she feels (felt) like an actual gift from god. But it taints every moment and does not stop no matter how I try to let go.

I don't talk to a lot of girls, mostly online. Do I keep looking or just be grateful for the gift of a person she is in every other way despite the OCD inflicted torture that never stops? She's only going to let me call her a whore so much before she gets fed up, and its the only thing that makes me feel better. Maybe i need some CBT?