>>23529623
it was most likely a seizure i think, it happened any time i took psychedelics or weed aswell and i didnt really understand it, but the time it happened on dxm i really thought i was gonna die
>>23529636
sometimes i can feel it without the drugs though ever since that event, usually if i exert myself or get stressed, but sometimes for no reason at all
if i look at certain patterns my eyes wont focus on them right or they'll look kind of weird, a lot of optical illusion/hallucination type imagery causes way more intense of a visual distortion than it used to, sometimes i'll feel like i'm not getting enough air despite breathing normally, a few times i felt a sort of electric sensation running up my arm from where i touched something or down my scalp, i'll get vertigo in my sleep shortly before waking up, and several other issues
over the past few months its almost completely subsided but i still get hot flashes almost every day after work
i'm scared i'll have to go through all of that when my health ever gets bad again, and we all die someday so it feels inevitable, so some days i feel like i just wanna kill myself and get it over with, throw myself into the void, into the noise, hell, whatever
>>23529622
but we just dont remember what it was like before we were born, how do we not know that we werent taken out of the noise? after all our bodies are all made up of chemical structures that'll break apart and cause particles to flow out from us in every direction without order