I'm 22 years old as well. Both my parents are deceased. My mother passed when I was 16; my father passed when I was 21. I work in the mornings, and I write in the evenings.
Life gives to every person desire and the fear of failing desire. If you want to end your life through suicide you are likely only running from a deeper desire you believe to be failing. If you desire control, aim to know any small form of it, then use that experience for a model of a greater version.
The power to kill oneself, the desire to kill oneself, to do what is inevitable, is no power or desire at all. No man should die without challenging the desires of life.